I'm not exactly sure why, even though I've been a christian for 20 years, I have never been able to properly pray. I am sure we have all heard people, especially pastors, go on for minutes at a time, asking God, praising him, and giving thanks. Whereas I can only go for maybe 5 seconds before I lose track of what I'm even thinking about. I just run out of words I guess.
I give presentations and speeches, can talk with people for hours if needed and never run out of topics, with no problem. But for some reason, prayer time comes around and I cant even think. So, I would expect to be speechless for sure, if standing before God. But why is that the case here on earth? Even more so when surrounded by one or two others.
It seems like it may be common, even with the very faithful. Pastor Gabe Hughes once said in a sermon that he has trouble with it also at times. I just dont understand why it's even a problem. It doesnt make any sense to me.
Anyways, its an uncomfortable thing, and makes going to church and bible studies hard, especially when someone points at you and says "why dont you lead us in prayer". Or close in prayer. Whatever the case may be. There are sunday's where I dont even want to go, simply because of the possibility someone wants me to give a speech to God on behalf of everyone.
You're not alone. Let me ask you a question that might seem strange at first.
What is your devotional practice as it relates to prayer? Do you set regular times aside to pray? How is your prayer time structured? When do you know you've "completed" your devotions?
One poster above mentioned speaking in tongues during prayer, this is really a beautiful practice. I was Pentecostal for over 30 years and I still speak in tongues in my devotional prayers. I second this practice and encourage it.
I'm about to share something very personal, and you might not entirely agree. But hear me out, you'll see where I'm going with all this towards the end of my post.
For many years my devotions were typically filled with a Bible readings and short prayer. That was it. But I felt like my spirituality was self-contrived and shallow. As strange as it might seem, after my heart attack I entered into a different place spiritually and actually found myself being drawn to Catholicism. Now, I'm not here to convert you to Catholicism. However, during this season of change I began to pick up different devotional practices like Novenas and then I fell in love with the Rosary and how one places intentions on their Rosary prayers while contemplating the various NT mysteries relating to Christ and Mary. This has become one of my most loved practices. For example, todays mysteries are the Glorious Mysteries (Christ's Resurrection, Christ's Ascension, Holy Spirit's Descent on Pentecost, Mary's Assumption, and Mary's Coronation). It takes roughly 15 to 20 minutes to pray the Rosary while contemplating the daily mysteries. But I enjoy it because it is structured and precise. Traditionally there are 15 mysteries. However, Pope John Paul II introduced 5 more raising the number to 20. This contemplative prayer actually has been producing noticeable and measurable changes in my life. I struggle with PTSD, so it's calming. It's also edifying to my spirit to simply contemplate, or behold, the NT Mysteries without a lot of intellectual commentary. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, merely basking in the presence of these spiritual realities and beholding them in the mind or in an icon can be as transformative as any sermon or reading. For me, the Rosary is something I try to pray 3 times a day, and when I'm feeling any strong temptations or anxiety. It allows me to bring my focus and senses entirely to Christ. The contemplative nature of the devotion realigns the mind for at least 15 to 20 minutes which is more than enough time to overcome sinful impulses or anxious thoughts. I like to sit for another 10 to 15 minutes and pray freestyle in my own words, speak in tongues, or stop and read a passage of Scripture after my Rosary devotion.
Now, I'm not saying you should pray the Rosary. Of course, I invite anyone who wishes to try it to do so. However, I know it isn't for everybody.
My point is that I have found that having an actual "practice" of prayer and devotion that has structure and is deliberate, focused, and traditional has made all the difference in my devotional life. I've had more prayers answered since praying the Rosary. I'm even having friends go out of their way to ask me to include special needs in my prayerful intentions. I've had more success with overcoming the flesh since praying the Rosary. I've also found myself praying for an hour or more a day (usually closer to an hour and a half or two hours) with each Rosary prayed being about 20 minutes. There is also a healthy and godly sense of accomplishment that allows me to enjoy everything else in my life because I am confident that I've completed my daily devotion and worship. And should I wish to stop for 20 minutes of prayer, I have my pocket Rosary in my pocket with my Bible.
I even went as far as to set up "prayer corner" with a small altar of sorts in my home. Here I light a candle, burn incense, and pray. And I do this "religiously". lol After all, it is my religion. lol This means I pray my devotions rather I feel like it or not. Most of the time by the time I'm done I've prayed myself out of my "funk" and feel spiritually rejuvenated.
Christianity is over 20 centuries old. There are literally THOUSANDS of Christian devotional practices to engage in, the Rosary is just one of many, but for Catholics, this is our greatest devotional weapon. You might benefit from picking up an actual devotional practice or tradition of prayer. It certainly doesn't have to be the Rosary. But I'm sure that the right practice will bring the same benefits to you and your faith as the Rosary has for me and my faith. The point is... having a concrete, edifying, and enjoyable devotional practice makes living a life of prayer far more rewarding and engaging.
So, look into practices of devotion and prayer. And don't cut corners. Don't hedge to make things "easier". The more you invest in it and behold it as a core practice of your faith personally, the more benefit it will bring you. Should you look into it and find a devotional practice that suits you share it with us. There are so many others out here just "winging" their prayer life and devotional life and they have no idea how an actual, structured, deliberate, practice can benefit them.
God bless!
prayers...
