????Trips?????

[christiankate]

Hi all,
Got another question for you all. Me and my SO, are thinking about going on a trip. Now we would have to stay at a hotel, and money is tight, so what I am asking is, is it wrong to share a room with 2 beds? After all God dosn't say "thou shalt not share a room". If we both have commited to saving sex until marriage and are strong about that, is it wrong? I was thinking about it and most of the time we won't be at the room, out all day, just at night. I don't think it would lead to temptation unless, we wern't strong with our desicion. Has anyone else tried this, and how has it worked for you? If not, how would you and your SO handle it? Some insight please, Thanks in advance

 

[Ginsu]

You guys might be to tired at the end of the day to contemplate anything.

I'd share a room with my Fiance and watch CNN together. I like CNN latenight, but I'm not to sure about my fiance liking that. She can read or something.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

By all means share the room. If someone has a problem with it then they can pay for the other room.

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

And this is coming from the guy who started the "Sleeping over at a girl's place...ethical?" thread.... Given the choice and commitment you've made, go for it. The only concern I can even think of is how you deal with changing and getting into bed

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Uh......... pray about it, I really don't know what to tell you. I believe it is probably personal convition. Also my parents would never allow my bf and I to stay in the same room, maybe if someone else stayed w/ us, then maybe. I don't personally agree or disagree w/ it just the temptation that would be there that I would worry about.

 

[MagicStar723]

Pray about it. I personally believe it is a personal conviction. Temptation will always be there. My bf and I are in a similar situation and will probably wind up sharing the room.

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

normally i'd listen to and agree with blue's wisdom (she's got lots, to be sure)

but "If you aren't 100% sure that it won't create temptation, don't do it."?

There are a hundred different innocent situations that cause temptations every day, I don't think the fact that there will be temptation is a reason to completely write something off. At least, I'd revise that to, "If you are less than 100% sure that it won't create temptation THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE, don't do it."

I also agree with the sentiment that in such cases....the somewhat grey areas...you should listen to your conscience. I was in a similar situation, but not even going to be in the same room, just the same house, and while I couldn't think of a rational reason why not, my conscience kept telling me no, so I listened. If it were now on the other hand, I'd be ok with it...I guess I've made peace with my conscience...I trust myself....something like that...

Anyways...if you are having big doubts, thats at least a sign that maybe your conscience is speaking up....it's worthwhile to listen.

 

[loved]

Hi all,
Got another question for you all. Me and my SO, are thinking about going on a trip. Now we would have to stay at a hotel, and money is tight, so what I am asking is, is it wrong to share a room with 2 beds? After all God dosn't say "thou shalt not share a room". If we both have commited to saving sex until marriage and are strong about that, is it wrong? I was thinking about it and most of the time we won't be at the room, out all day, just at night. I don't think it would lead to temptation unless, we wern't strong with our desicion. Has anyone else tried this, and how has it worked for you? If not, how would you and your SO handle it? Some insight please, Thanks in advance

I think it's fine if you make clear boundaries for the 2 of you like:

*No sitting on each others bed whilst the other person is still in it.

*No sleeping together in a bed(even if innocent)

*No getting changed whilst the other person is in the room(do it in the bathroom)

*No late night heavy kissing...


you get the picture anyway,lol.

Just make sure you don't "cross the line."

 

[Emma!]

I would take some other friends with aswell so that there will be no temptation or go some where that you can stay with friends.

Dont think that you are behond temptation... i would wait till after marriage to go away with just the two of you, thats extra special and well worth waiting for the honeymoon as the first trip!

Whats the reson that you want to go away? If its to spend some time along then you should wait till after marriage, if its just to get away and see some sites then there should be no problem taking some friends...it will make it cheaper too!

God bless

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

thats a pretty good point emma. I think I agree quite a bit with that.

another thought: would it be more or less tempting if two people went on a road trip and slept in the car together?

while i agree with emma, I'd still maintain that its not immoral. perhaps it'd just be better to save that kind of trip for after marriage. an addendum to the bring a friend idea:
Bring another dating couple, and have two rooms. this would alleviate the third wheel syndrome the single friend would feel.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I'll speak from my experience here... but it's not something I would use for every situation.

B's parents live about 1500kms from us, his brother lives 1000kms. We go down there once a year, and USUALLY at his brothers place we get seperate bedrooms (we always do at his parents - even though they usually can't understand it, as B has up until now always shared a room with his gf when visiting his parents).

Last time we went down to his brothers, we had to share the futon in the lounge (the lounge was SO tiny, it took up the entire room!), as it was a one bedroom. We slept in it for 10 days all up - and NOTHING happened.

Same with the trip back home - we had to stay somewhere overnight, again a double bed, and again NOTHING happened.

I guess we had the value of hindsight though. We had both been involved in sexual situations before, and knew how much it had messed up the relationships we were in at that point, so our determination NOT to do anything, no matter the living/sleeping arrangement, is pretty strong.

I don't think everyone is like us, and I don't think our situation SHOULD be used as a reason as to why it is okay to do it - but from someone who has been there I personally know it IS possible to sleep regularly in the same bed, and NOT do anything.

It has to be your own personal determinations though - and you have to remain steadfast to the ultimate goal. Work out what that goal is - and then act accordingly.

Nothing anyone tells you on here to do/not do is going to help - this is a decision you two have to make all on your own.

Whether that means you don't go on a holiday on your own until your honeymoon - then so be it. If that means no sleeping in the same bed until the wedding night - so be it. The point is YOU have to be the ones to make the decision - and then YOU are the ones accountable to that decision, and whether you stick by it or not.

We stuck to ours, and never once slipped up - and I have no regrets.

Sasch

ps. And it's pretty easy to stay fully clothed when sharing a bed/room with your bf/FH - you just use the bathroom to change, and ensure you wear a pyjama set to bed (not a nightie - as they have a tendency to ride up)! That's what we both did anyway!

 

[chanis]

I'd be cool with it as long as we both understand our boundaries...

 

[LadyBird]

If you feel in your heart and know that you can resist the temptation that sleeping in the same room together will bring, I say, go for it! Do what you feel is right. Just because one couple can't handle the temptation, doesn't mean that you and your boyfriend will have the same fate. Because what works for some people, doesn't work for others. What one person can resist, another person may not be able to resist. Personally, I'm not tempted when sleeping in the same room with my bf, especially if it's in another bed...and we've even slept in the same bed and we are still virgins...nothing sexual happened...you just have to be strong and always ask God for help...it really does help!

 

[Carri20]

I see no problem with it. I agree with the person who said that if anyone has a problem with it they can pay for the extra room lol.

 

[Singin4Him]

Bad idea, don't light the match if you're not ready to build the fire.

 

[Oblivious]

I don't see a problem with it...

As far as temptation goes, don't blame it on the hotel room. Sure, it could make things more tempting, but you don't need a hotel room to be "tempted".

Have fun and enjoy your trip!

 

[Inperfected]

As to sleeping in a car? I personally don't know about the temptation side of stuff, but i sure wanna do it when we head off to the hot pools with my bro and that... I've only ever slept next to the bf once (half on him) and that was coz we weren't sposed to sleep in the tent, but had to... and i was gonna sleep next to the bro... (after we set up the tent at 11pm) but you see the middle person had to learn half on one othe people... so i leant on him (my bros 'big' you see)

 

[plum]

well, i guess my initial reaction is this: will others know you're sharing a room? it doesn't matter what they think usually, but we are to avoid having the appearance of evil/sin... so do be careful.