Triggered today

[JAM2b]

I have experienced sexual violation that went on over a period of years when I was growing up. I have been in therapy in one form or another for it since I was 21 years old. I've been medicated, journaled, written, participated in support groups, and continued to seek out counselors and ministers about it because I have never felt that I was completely OK, even though I did get a lot better. I'm generally not afraid of men now. I am able to work with men and have friendships with men. So, I thought that the stronger emotions and uncontrollable reactions were a thing of the past.

Today a mentally disabled person my organization works with got carried away. He was just going to give me a hug like he always does, but he wouldn't let go and he started kissing me. I struggled to get him to let me go. I ended up getting away from him without much damage done, and got help from co-workers.

I was shaking and couldn't breath at first, but all things considered, it didn't take too long for me to pull myself together. Then later, the very next moment that I was alone, I broke down and cried really hard. All the emotions and reactions to men that I had been dealing with and thought were behind me came rushing back.

I'm still not OK from being traumatized when I was a youth.

 

[PropheticTimes]

In my experience, we never become totally OK. Something like that would have traumatized anyone, so don't feel bad about your reaction. I think we can get better, to the point that it won't leave us living in terror, but something like that would certainly trigger an emotional overload.

Let Jesus hold you in His arms while you cry. It will be OK.

 

[Boogeyman07]

I'm sorry. Wish I could give you a hug.... well, maybe that wouldn't be the best idea right now!

Let Jesus hold you in His arms while you cry. It will be OK.

I love that.

Seems like you have tried everything... He knows what you need though. Just seek Him with all you have. I will pray He takes your burdens and heals you. He can use anything for His glory, remember that. And perhaps He will not heal you, but use you to help heal others. I don't know... but i will pray. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[JAM2b]

Thanks for your thoughtful responses.

 

[Hieronymus]

Just a virtual platonic hug from me.