Tough times, depression, hopeless and despair

[lone soldier]

I’m not blaming God for my problems anymore, and I posted this in the Depression forum, but it’s not very active over there. I hope to get more answers here, because I certainly need them.

I've been very depressed lately. My life is becoming almost unbearable now. I am 29 years old, living at home, and I cannot get a job. Anywhere. I have so much debt from my credit card, that I cannot pay it and will probably have to go bankrupt. I went to school but obtained a worthless degree and am also heavily in debt from that as well. I am also alone and have been so for years. Is it any surprise, why would anyone want someone who is a loser like me?

I'm at the point now where I don't honestly know what is keeping me here. The mods here don't like me, but I have really nowhere else to go. Life is hopeless for me. I am hanging on by a thread and have nothing left to look forward to or to live for. I have God and that's good. But everything else is garbage. I'll never amount to anything at this stage, I'll never find love, I'll never be happy, I'll never own my own home, have a successful anything, never mind business, and I'm nothing but a burden to my family. I would honestly be further off dead. I don't even know why God bothers keeping me alive.. I have nothing.

Can anyone give me a good reason to go on or even a glimmer of hope about life? I've looked and there is none. I'm a failure and a mooch, living off the system and would be further off not here. I'm not going to do anything stupid, but I honestly don't know what stops me. I really have nothing to live for, nothing to hope for or to expect, good anyway. I might as well be dead. How am I supposed to go on like this? Can anybody help me? I wish I could just break down and bawl like a baby, but even then, what difference would it make? What should I do, please tell me.

I might as well just go on disability, consign myself to being a failure in life and accept that I'm only here to suck up oxygen and be miserable for the next few years.

I have decided to get back into volunteering again. Even though I am a complete failure when it comes to a job, career, women, money and life, I can still donate some of my time to make a small, minor difference in the lives of others.

 

[forGod1]

Your signature answers your questions. Put your problems to God and they will be answered.

 

[LWB]

Your life does seem bleak lone soldier, but the good news is that there's always the Kingdom of Heaven.

In the carnal way of thinking, the self is paramount. So it is very important to have a well paying career, material wealth, a stunning wife, etc.

The spiritual way is the opposite. The self is the least, so it doesn't even matter if you have nowhere to lay your head at night. From the spiritual perspective, what is important is that you belong to God. You are a part of His body, so you no longer identify with the single cell. You identify with Christ, resurrected, seated at the right hand of the Father!

Perhaps a thorough study of the gospel of Matthew would be of benefit to you now, especially the Sermon on the Mount. Meditate upon the Beatitudes.

 

[iamjcs]

Praying for you & God's guidance in your life & actions.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Wondered about this a lot and accepting Jesus can bring the gift of peace in your life if everything else is a failure, knowing that life on Earth is like being an actor in a movie - and once you finish acting in this life and pass away into heaven, you transform into a Christ-like perfect body and mind to feel alive and healthy, and to feel the spiritual pleasure of divine joy that is beyond the sexual feelings of the earthly flesh.:*:. I believe sex was never suppose to happen between Adam and Eve and because of their gullibility to accept Satan's deceit, God decided to stop creating humans from dust and allow women to create humans from pregnancy. A serious mistake from our first human parents that caused untold problems of so much suffering of countries at war, disease and emotional scars. Millions have lost their lives over the centuries and here we are alive today, many who live unlucky lives to accept Jesus and hope that a miracle will happen through the silent daily prayers of other Christians all over the world.:*:. God has blessed me with a job as a Homecare home product sales representative but it's hard work. The secret of success is quite simple: it's making friends with customers, most of them who are elderly and receiving government pension. Without their friendship, I would be stuck on an unemployment benefit. I visit church each Sunday to sing songs of joy and peace to stay positive and happy - to protect myself with Jesus with strong faith like other members of my church. Christian women are very understanding when it comes to depression and communicating with them can be baby steps to unlock that terrible jail-termlike feeling with their love of Jesus in them. Marriage is possible between single Christians who are always faith-focused with Jesus.:*:. Although I am in my 40s, I am seeking a Christian young unmarried woman - and with Jesus within me, nothing's impossible.:*:. Praise Jesus

 

[singpeace]

lone soldier,

Psalm 34:17-20 ESV
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Philippians 4:19 ESV
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.


2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ESV
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

Matthew 6
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Father, deliver my brother out of despair. Give him a hope of your glory and your kingdom still to come in his life and on this earth in this life and the life to come. Give him a different life than the one he has known. Help him serve you and there he will find all his needs met by the riches you have in glory. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

 

[Ttery]

I’m not blaming God for my problems anymore, and I posted this in the Depression forum, but it’s not very active over there. I hope to get more answers here, because I certainly need them.

I've been very depressed lately. My life is becoming almost unbearable now. I am 29 years old, living at home, and I cannot get a job. Anywhere. I have so much debt from my credit card, that I cannot pay it and will probably have to go bankrupt. I went to school but obtained a worthless degree and am also heavily in debt from that as well. I am also alone and have been so for years. Is it any surprise, why would anyone want someone who is a loser like me?

I'm at the point now where I don't honestly know what is keeping me here. The mods here don't like me, but I have really nowhere else to go. Life is hopeless for me. I am hanging on by a thread and have nothing left to look forward to or to live for. I have God and that's good. But everything else is garbage. I'll never amount to anything at this stage, I'll never find love, I'll never be happy, I'll never own my own home, have a successful anything, never mind business, and I'm nothing but a burden to my family. I would honestly be further off dead. I don't even know why God bothers keeping me alive.. I have nothing.

Can anyone give me a good reason to go on or even a glimmer of hope about life? I've looked and there is none. I'm a failure and a mooch, living off the system and would be further off not here. I'm not going to do anything stupid, but I honestly don't know what stops me. I really have nothing to live for, nothing to hope for or to expect, good anyway. I might as well be dead. How am I supposed to go on like this? Can anybody help me? I wish I could just break down and bawl like a baby, but even then, what difference would it make? What should I do, please tell me.

I might as well just go on disability, consign myself to being a failure in life and accept that I'm only here to suck up oxygen and be miserable for the next few years.

I have decided to get back into volunteering again. Even though I am a complete failure when it comes to a job, career, women, money and life, I can still donate some of my time to make a small, minor difference in the lives of others.

The state your at, to you may seem bad, but it's a good state to be at. God wants you to Humble yourself and Go to Him.

In "The Parable of the Lost Son" The son didn't go back to his father until he had nothing. Be thankful for the Humble state your at and take advantage of this opportunity God is giving you, to get to Know Him.

Read Luke 15:11-32

The Parable of the Lost Son

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Keep on Living!

 

[lone soldier]

Your signature answers your questions. Put your problems to God and they will be answered.

They haven't been yet... At least, not in a good or amicable way.

 

[lone soldier]

Things have not gotten any better for me at all. I am questioning why I was even born, why did God even bother wasting his time making me? I have no hope for the future, nothing to look forward to and no reason to even be here. I don't honestly know what it is that stops me from putting a gun in my mouth.

 

[kellyc]

depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes you feel hopeless thoughts. most of what you are complaining about sucks, but it is not that devastating and millions of people are experiencing the same and worse.

your thoughts are all out of perspective.

in your area is there some emotional help for you? i hope you will seek out someone professional because there is a LOT of life left to live after debt. i promise.

 

[lone soldier]

depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes you feel hopeless thoughts. most of what you are complaining about sucks, but it is not that devastating and millions of people are experiencing the same and worse.

your thoughts are all out of perspective.

in your area is there some emotional help for you? i hope you will seek out someone professional because there is a LOT of life left to live after debt. i promise.

That's one form of depression, yes. It can also arise out of negative thoughts, which in my case, are rooted in reality. It is completely devastating, in terms of having no value, worth or purpose in my life. I have no reason to even be here. Sucking up oxygen is hardly a reason to be alive. And it doesn't make me feel better that other people are suffering in the same way, if not worse. That only makes me feel worse, not better. I wanted to be able to help them with their problems, but that is impossible now that I am in this mess.

I have no absolutely no way of paying any "professionals" since therapy is not covered by government insurance plans. So no therapy for me - not that I believe they could truly help anyway. So I'm left to myself yet again. What life is left after debt? Can't own a home, can't buy a home, can't get a decent vehicle, can't start my business, can't get married or have a family. Yeah, great life ahead of me... I've got nothing.

At least God is with me. (I think?)

 

[kellyc]

perspective is reality, and a depressed perspective is really NOT reality. i am not trying to talk you out of how you feel, that is real to you. but, in truth, there is help. i see you are in canada so i googled

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: Chapters and Support Groups

if you have a university near you sometimes their psychiatric school offers free help to the public.

i also read that canada's health care system pays for psychiatric help (i don't know about therapy, but you can see a psychiatrist).

if you can bring yourself to get help, it is available. you have to want it though.

 

[SplendidTree]

I know it seems hard just think of it this way, things can only go up from here. I myself have felt somewhat this way. I just moved home and am getting state assistance. I have acquired more debt than I'd like to admit (mostly due to someone else). It's times like these we start to appreciate every little thing more. Keep praising God it will improve. I know it's easier said than done. Usually after such tough times come such wonderful ones! You are not a failure or a mooch. You have fallen on hard times as many people do especially with the economy these days. You are a great person a child of God and he loves you so much.

The way I look at it in my situation is I'm praying and making goals in my life. Instead of looking at the things I don't have I'm trying to think of what I can do and even if it means taking small baby steps I am taking those. Don't let the enemy suck you in the more he does the harder it is to get out. Also if you feel your depression is an issue perhaps see a professional? God uses them to help people as well. Hope everything looks up for you soon.

 

[LWB]

Lone Soldier, it is the World that says owning homes, vehicles, and businesses is important. It is the world that values status, power, marriage and even family.

Jesus taught: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:37-39)

If you despise your life, let go of it. Not by suicide, but by turning and following Jesus. Those who cling to the supposedly good things of this world will lose everything! Those who let go of this world will find the greatest thing ever.

The Kingdom of Heaven doesn't value people for what they have. The Kingdom of Heaven values people for their own sake. You have infinite worth, even if you do nothing but suck up the oxygen of this planet!

But let's be clear, if you think suicide will solve your problems, you will be horrifically disappointed. Here, though things are bleak, you still have a chance. Beyond suicide there are no more chances.

 

[lone soldier]

perspective is reality, and a depressed perspective is really NOT reality. i am not trying to talk you out of how you feel, that is real to you. but, in truth, there is help. i see you are in canada so i googled

if you have a university near you sometimes their psychiatric school offers free help to the public.

i also read that canada's health care system pays for psychiatric help (i don't know about therapy, but you can see a psychiatrist).

if you can bring yourself to get help, it is available. you have to want it though.

It certainly seems like reality.

Unfortunately where I live, I don't have a drug plan so going to a psychiatrist to medicate away my unpleasant emotions would not be possible. I cannot possibly afford the costs of those drugs, so help is not available to dull my thoughts of hopelessness.

 

[lone soldier]

I know it seems hard just think of it this way, things can only go up from here. I myself have felt somewhat this way. I just moved home and am getting state assistance. I have acquired more debt than I'd like to admit (mostly due to someone else). It's times like these we start to appreciate every little thing more. Keep praising God it will improve. I know it's easier said than done. Usually after such tough times come such wonderful ones! You are not a failure or a mooch. You have fallen on hard times as many people do especially with the economy these days. You are a great person a child of God and he loves you so much.

The way I look at it in my situation is I'm praying and making goals in my life. Instead of looking at the things I don't have I'm trying to think of what I can do and even if it means taking small baby steps I am taking those. Don't let the enemy suck you in the more he does the harder it is to get out. Also if you feel your depression is an issue perhaps see a professional? God uses them to help people as well. Hope everything looks up for you soon.

Well thanks. I appreciate your kind words. I do feel like I am a big failure and a mooch though. It's not like I'm a little kid anymore, I should be able to support myself and stand on my own 2 feet. I feel that I should have accomplished so much more than what I have up till now. It's so sad and pathetic that I let myself get into this mess I'm now in.

As I said I have no possible way of paying for any kind of "professional" help so that's out. With my finances in shambles as they are now, I can barely afford to put food in my mouth, let alone pay hundreds of dollars a weke for therapy or drugs.

 

[lone soldier]

Lone Soldier, it is the World that says owning homes, vehicles, and businesses is important. It is the world that values status, power, marriage and even family.

Jesus taught: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:37-39)

If you despise your life, let go of it. Not by suicide, but by turning and following Jesus. Those who cling to the supposedly good things of this world will lose everything! Those who let go of this world will find the greatest thing ever.

The Kingdom of Heaven doesn't value people for what they have. The Kingdom of Heaven values people for their own sake. You have infinite worth, even if you do nothing but suck up the oxygen of this planet!

But let's be clear, if you think suicide will solve your problems, you will be horrifically disappointed. Here, though things are bleak, you still have a chance. Beyond suicide there are no more chances.

I think those things are important. A lot of christians I know do too. But I guess it's not for me. I'm not meant to be "happy." I do follow Jesus but I don't see why I have to choose between having a good life or having God. I don't see that at all. I'm not worried about going to hell but I also don't really want to kill myself either. I want things to get better. But I know they won't so I feel like I should not be here, wasting everyone's time, oxygen and money.

 

[LWB]

I think those things are important. A lot of christians I know do too. But I guess it's not for me. I'm not meant to be "happy." I do follow Jesus but I don't see why I have to choose between having a good life or having God. I don't see that at all. I'm not worried about going to hell but I also don't really want to kill myself either. I want things to get better. But I know they won't so I feel like I should not be here, wasting everyone's time, oxygen and money.

I know you think those things are important, that's why you're so unhappy.

It isn't a matter of being happy with the good life OR having God. When you have God, the things of this world simply don't matter anymore.

Have you ever been so infatuated with someone, that nothing else mattered except being with them? Time away from them was filled with daydreams, and being reunited was like sunshine breaking through dark clouds? This is the kind of love you are meant to have with God.

You are not of the World, so it is little wonder it favours you not. But there is something else waiting for you. Waiting with infinite patience, compassion and love. You are on the verge of seeing this for yourself. You've probably never been closer, and maybe never will be again. For the love of God don't lose heart now, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.