I think you should talk to professional help about the rape. But thats not the question.
Personally I don't believe in saving for marriage (Although I prefer the concept of saving yourself for someone you really love), but you have decided to save your self (I suppose it was you), so who am I to tell you to do not.
My advice: Go to a certain point and try to find out where is still a safe area and things get a little fuzzy. Then, stay in the safe area, have fun, then go home and touch, so you don't have to sit around and think on what happens which will just create more emotional and pyhsical pressure. But I am not sure if you are capable of masturbation, both because of the rape issue and because christianity demonizes masturbation too (Although it is never mentioned in the bible and a perfectly natural behavior in which many animals engage)