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Total Modesty

SweetAngeline

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I think it is important for women to dress modestly. The Bible tells us that we must dress modestly, and that is something important to my husband and me. He doesn't like it when I show my legs at all. There are some nice fashions I'd like to wear, but it is important to honor my God and my husband.
 
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The Nihilist

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I think it is important for women to dress modestly. The Bible tells us that we must dress modestly, and that is something important to my husband and me. He doesn't like it when I show my legs at all. There are some nice fashions I'd like to wear, but it is important to honor my God and my husband.

But is showing your legs immodest, or is your husband simply unreasonable? How would you know the difference? The problem centers around a value-loaded word; we are told to be modest without actually being told what modesty is, so we have to guess.
 
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tapero

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But is showing your legs immodest, or is your husband simply unreasonable? How would you know the difference? The problem centers around a value-loaded word; we are told to be modest without actually being told what modesty is, so we have to guess.

I think the bible says what modest means in regards to women. Though it is not for our day, we can understand also from certain scripture for example, don't do anything to cause your brother to stumble. I don't think it's our job to tell a person to be more modest or not, unless they are in a church where they have certain guidelines. I suppose someone would love to point out to another immodesty, and maybe that's okay. I wouldn't do it. At least I don't think I would.

I don't think her husband is being unreasonable. It causes him problems when her legs are revealed. She is pleasing him by not causing him to trouble or be insecure or jealous.
 
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SallyNow

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I think the bible says what modest means in regards to women. Though it is not for our day, we can understand also from certain scripture for example, don't do anything to cause your brother to stumble. I don't think it's our job to tell a person to be more modest or not, unless they are in a church where they have certain guidelines. I suppose someone would love to point out to another immodesty, and maybe that's okay. I wouldn't do it. At least I don't think I would.

I don't think her husband is being unreasonable. It causes him problems when her legs are revealed. She is pleasing him by not causing him to trouble or be insecure or jealous.

...but he may actually be causing her to immodest by having her dress in an inappropriate manner for certain weather conditions, social enviroments, activities, etc.

*tangent* That's what so interesting and beautiful about Indian dress: it seems to bridge the gap between modesty, practicality, and beauty. */tangent*

Modesty is not about how much you cover. It's about dressing and acting in a way that is appropriate for the weather, the enviroment, the activity... a full-coverage, long-sleeved gown is modest at a formal ball, but at the park. A designer business suit is modest at the office, but not at a soup kitchen. A bathing suit is great for swimming, but not for going to the mall. Each piece of clothing has its modest place. There's no reason to ban anything; it is about finding the appropriate time and place to wear a certain outfit.
 
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tapero

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...but he may actually be causing her to immodest by having her dress in an inappropriate manner for certain weather conditions, social enviroments, activities, etc.

*tangent* That's what so interesting and beautiful about Indian dress: it seems to bridge the gap between modesty, practicality, and beauty. */tangent*

Modesty is not about how much you cover. It's about dressing and acting in a way that is appropriate for the weather, the enviroment, the activity... a full-coverage, long-sleeved gown is modest at a formal ball, but at the park. A designer business suit is modest at the office, but not at a soup kitchen. A bathing suit is great for swimming, but not for going to the mall. Each piece of clothing has its modest place. There's no reason to ban anything; it is about finding the appropriate time and place to wear a certain outfit.

Hi, I'm not sure how he is causing her to be immodest. She sounds like she is real modest. It may be uncomfortable if that's what you mean, but the reason she does what she does is to please her husband, and she is willing to that.
 
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SallyNow

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Hi, I'm not sure how he is causing her to be immodest. She sounds like she is real modest. It may be uncomfortable if that's what you mean, but the reason she does what she does is to please her husband, and she is willing to that.

But modesty, real modesty, isn't about how much is covered. It is about being appropriate for the activity, the enviroment, the weather, etc.

I can understand when there are religious convictions in the books of that religion to cover certain parts of the body... such as in Islam... but the Bible lacks such clarity. The Bible implies that a person must be appropriate for the occasion at hand, not that they must keep covered in ways that don't make any cultural sense. And in North American culture and society, frankly, showing calf isn't that sexy. A person at a park in the summer will get little attention if they are in knee-length shorts and a t-shirt, but they will get attention if they are wearing a long skirt, leggings, and are covered fully. The question of what is under all that covering may be more alluring than just wearing what is common, modest, and comfortable in that society, in this case, North American society.

Perhaps this example will help bring the subject in to perspective: At a party, it is appropriate and modest to talk, laugh, be goofy, have fun, be outgoing, etc. At a formal business meeting, it is appropriate and modest to wait until you have something important and on-topic to say, and to be in a sober mood.

The issue of modesty is so much mroe complicated than covering everything. It is much more about being appropriate in the time, place, weather, activity, culture.

And one must remember that what is covered can often be more alluring than what is not, to a point...
 
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tapero

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But modesty, real modesty, isn't about how much is covered. It is about being appropriate for the activity, the enviroment, the weather, etc.

I can understand when there are religious convictions in the books of that religion to cover certain parts of the body... such as in Islam... but the Bible lacks such clarity. The Bible implies that a person must be appropriate for the occasion at hand, not that they must keep covered in ways that don't make any cultural sense. And in North American culture and society, frankly, showing calf isn't that sexy. A person at a park in the summer will get little attention if they are in knee-length shorts and a t-shirt, but they will get attention if they are wearing a long skirt, leggings, and are covered fully. The question of what is under all that covering may be more alluring than just wearing what is common, modest, and comfortable in that society, in this case, North American society.

Perhaps this example will help bring the subject in to perspective: At a party, it is appropriate and modest to talk, laugh, be goofy, have fun, be outgoing, etc. At a formal business meeting, it is appropriate and modest to wait until you have something important and on-topic to say, and to be in a sober mood.

The issue of modesty is so much mroe complicated than covering everything. It is much more about being appropriate in the time, place, weather, activity, culture.

And one must remember that what is covered can often be more alluring than what is not, to a point...

I agree with you. The subject I was speaking on was modesty in relation to dress. Not other issues. Because the scripture I am thinking of is regarding how a woman should dress.
 
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Bombila

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Getting back to the issue of men's dress, as I mentioned earlier, Muslim men do consider modesty when dressing, and obviously many Christian women do (and are reminded to do so, apparently, as it comes up in these forums more than once). Do Christian men think about their clothing in terms of modesty, as in not causing their sisters to stumble, even though it seemingly isn't addressed in scripture, as women's dress is? I'm really curious about this, as a comparison to Islamic practice.
 
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Scell

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I think it is important for women to dress modestly. The Bible tells us that we must dress modestly, and that is something important to my husband and me. He doesn't like it when I show my legs at all. There are some nice fashions I'd like to wear, but it is important to honor my God and my husband.

Huh? What year is this? Welcome your husband to the year 2007 and wear what YOU feel comfortable wearing.
 
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mpshiel

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women have been modest for 2000 years - when are we going to get to the men - I see men all the time with thier forearms and heads uncovered - completely unmodest - several wear shirts which actually cling to their body as if taunting others into lust. Then there is the unmodest adornments - including rings, clashing socks and hideous shoes - isn't really bad fashion also a sign of immodest attitudes?
 
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OdwinOddball

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Nudity taboos are perhaps one of the most primitive of the superstitions enabled by religion. Though clothing guidelines are certainly appropriate for climate considerations, the human body is neither disgusting nor inherently sexual.

If you disagree, take a visit to your local morgue some time and view the corpse of someone who you would normally be attracted too. The body is the same, yet after seeing a nude corpse of a woman with red hair and pale skin and well proportioned(an appearance I am especially attracted to)I felt no attraction nor had any thoughts of having sex with her.

Sexual attraction or lust is a wholly mental condition. Society has trained its members to have sexual thoughts under certain conditions. Conditions which are not even consistent from one culture or time period to the next. Women in tropical climates habitually walk around with their breasts uncovered, yet the males of such societies are not rendered incapable of any thoughts but lusty ones.

A woman can wear the sexiest bikini, but if she weighs 500 pounds I am not going to have sexual thoughts about her. Yet I can meet well formed brunette wearing a floor length skirt and full sleeved blouse and be instantly turned on. I personally find Capri pants to be quite unattractive, yet you sure show off your legs when wearing them.


Tastes vary. What is modest to one person is not guaranteed to be modest to the next. And whatever society decides to claim as appropriate modest dress, some other society will find it shameful.
 
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OdwinOddball

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Seek and ye shall find as they say.

In this case some example cases.

After I made my last post, I walked across the street to Quizno's to get some lunch. Its cool today in Birmingham, roughly 55 or so. In line in front of me are two women. Both in their mid to late 20's, both in decent shape. One sandy blond and one brunette.

The blond is wearing tight fitting blue jeans, high heeled boots, and a fairly tight sweater. She has short cropped hair, and a well done make up job.

The brunette is wearing a ankle length skirt, black low heel boots, also in a sweater, but wearing a suede jacket on top of it. Her hair is straight, a little less than shoulder length. Her make-up is just lip gloss. She's wearing glasses.

Who was I thinking about bouncing around my bedroom as I walked back to the office. The brunette who many would probably consider mousy. I have a thing for girls in glasses, and unlike most I do NOT prefer blonds. And though I could not see much of her actual female form, I can definitely picture that skirt lying in my floor.

Tastes vary. Their is no way to be "modest" to all people unless you go around wearing a canvas sack with 3 holes cut out for your arms and head. And even then I'd bet there's a potato farmer in Idaho who would be picturing you naked.
 
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Scell

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The brunette is wearing a ankle length skirt, black low heel boots, also in a sweater, but wearing a suede jacket on top of it. Her hair is straight, a little less than shoulder length. Her make-up is just lip gloss. She's wearing glasses.

I got a thing for long skirts and boots too..strange. Almost like I am attracted more to those that leave some of it to my imagination.
 
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Bombila

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Solomon, there are some gentlemen who don't think 200 pounds is the upper limit for attractiveness in women. Would you deny them their pleasure while enjoying your own?

I've known some very athletic and attractive women who weighed more than that.

Also, why even say something like that?
 
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OdwinOddball

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Ya upper weight limits vary as well by person and culture. I would not be surprised to find out this amazon I met at a Halloween party last year weighed over 200. She was about 6'2", perhaps more, and definitely not fat.

Tastes vary.
 
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SallyNow

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Ya upper weight limits vary as well by person and culture. I would not be surprised to find out this amazon I met at a Halloween party last year weighed over 200. She was about 6'2", perhaps more, and definitely not fat.

Tastes vary.

Tastes vary... body make-ups vary... builds and muscle mass vary... for one woman, 200 pounds could be unhealthy, for another, it could be very healthy. Just depends on the body of the person. :tutu:


As for what men should and shouldn't wear...

Why are women critizised so much more than men? I see so many men wearing things that are much to tight in the crotch and waist area, it's immodest... just give in and buy your proper pant size. Sure, you once where... or wanted to be... a size 34 waist. But you are really a size, say, 40, and you would look much better and be more comfortable wearing a properly-fitted size 40 jean than trying to squeeze into a size 34. Really, wearing a pair of jeans that is the proper size and cut for your body looks much better and much and is much more flattering than trying to fit into a smaller size. :wave:

And how about sunbaked, lobster-red men who go topless on the beach and in their front lawns, mowing the lawn? Please, for the sake of modesty, for the sake of your skin, for the sake of sanity, put on a shirt until you actually plan to go swimming! Or at the very least, wear sunscreen. :blush:
 
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SolomonVII

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Solomon, there are some gentlemen who don't think 200 pounds is the upper limit for attractiveness in women. Would you deny them their pleasure while enjoying your own?

I've known some very athletic and attractive women who weighed more than that.

Also, why even say something like that?

You're absolutely right.
Fashion sense isn't very important at all.

And if a woman likes the attention she gets from men by dressing up like a stack of tires, or having her cheeks peeking out of the top of her pants, or whatever, then that is totally between her and the man that she is attracting.
 
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Argent

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women have been modest for 2000 years - when are we going to get to the men - I see men all the time with thier forearms and heads uncovered - completely unmodest - several wear shirts which actually cling to their body as if taunting others into lust. Then there is the unmodest adornments - including rings, clashing socks and hideous shoes - isn't really bad fashion also a sign of immodest attitudes?
"Bad taste is timeless."- Anonymous
 
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