Too Borring For Your Partner?

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Do you ever feel that you are too borring for your partner?









Sometimes I am afraid that my bf will find other girls more wonderful than me. After all, I don't do a whole lot. I'm not into sports, I don't have any talents, I am not the life of the party, and there isn't a lot that I do. I work and I go to school. That's about it. Yes, we do things together when we can, but not very often. Usually it is just watching a movie or something. I am afraid that he will find me to be borring if he meets some girl who does all sorts of things.

 

[California Dreamin']

You sound like me... it's like I wrote your post. I am the exact same way!!! Except I don't go to school, just work.

 

[Briseis]

Answering the title of this thread, yes. But I do not feel like you in that I do not fear my bf will leave me. I know he loves me with all his heart, I just do not know why.

 

[Alenci]

Yes. I think this sort of insecurity isn't so uncommon among girls...

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Answering the title of this thread, yes. But I do not feel like you in that I do not fear my bf will leave me. I know he loves me with all his heart, I just do not know why.

Yeah, I know that he loves me, but I don't always know why. When I meet new guys I never feel like they wouldn't like me or that I would be borring...but once I get into a relationship I feel that the person will just want out.

 

[SolitarySoul]

Not to throw my girlfriend on the spot or anything but I think she feels the same way. I kinda feel the same way myself. I'm into some things, kind of, but I'm still an extremely quiet guy and I never go to parties or anything, I feel like she'll get bored of me. I love her to death though. I don't know why she thinks i'd find someone else more interesting (in my eyes, there is nothing more interesting than her, she may think i'm odd lol, but it's the truth), but then again I think the same thing about her finding someone else sometimes lol. Activities and popularity and all that really aren't important though, not to me at least. I love her to death for who she is instead of what she does. I know why I love her, but I don't think I really know how to explain why lol. But I do love every little detail about her, for who she is.

But yea I get worried about the same thing sometimes. I consider myself a pretty boring guy. I always feel like I'm being ignored when I'm hanging out with a group of friends, I think they just invite me to be nice. Of course I never talk, but I still feel like they don't know I'm there. I'm pretty sure they get bored of me, I hope she doesn't.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

SO for those who don't feel this way...they must all do a lot of interesting things huh?????

 

[faerieevaH]

I don't feel this way. *chuckles* And I doubt I would be considered to have a very exciting life. I work as a teacher and love my job. I do online roleplaying and I embroider. Oh, and I like going to movies. Not very exciting at all! I'm not good at sports, even though I keep valiantly trying now and again to pick up the habit. I'm not very beautiful.

But over the years I've grown a confidence. I'm unique. Not because I'm smarter or faster or prettier or anything than others, but because no one can be as good a 'me' as I am. I try and continue to work on improving myself: becoming a better person, becoming kinder, more patient, more loving, more gentle, more optimistic, resilient... and so on.

I think there's this illusion that we need to do great things to be special, while in reality I just think we need to be 'special people'. Not by our talents but by trying to work on the way we treat those around us. (and good heavens do I have a lot of work still in that area!)

As to what to do against feeling boring... try and find one or two activities that YOU like. Wether it's a sport, or reading, or learning how to do a craft or volunteerwork... Can you imagine how special the people are that work with the homeless or in hospitals? The only special talents they often need is willingness and patience. If you feel good about what you do with the time you do have, you'll feel less boring, wether you use that time to make your appartment look pretty as a picture, make a mangificent quilt, become a really good baker, or try to find an hour or two each week to go serve in a local retirement home, it will help you know who you are and how special you are.

 

[Briseis]

Since when is it what ppl do that make others love them? My bf is pretty exciting. He is loved by all and has lots of friends, is awesome at WoW, and... well thats all I cant hink of now, lol, but he is not boring, but none of this is why I love him. It is becuase of who he is. Things like his determination and understanding. I am sure you are all great ppl, and that is why your SO loves you.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

I don't feel this way. *chuckles* And I doubt I would be considered to have a very exciting life. I work as a teacher and love my job. I do online roleplaying and I embroider. Oh, and I like going to movies. Not very exciting at all! I'm not good at sports, even though I keep valiantly trying now and again to pick up the habit. I'm not very beautiful.

But over the years I've grown a confidence. I'm unique. Not because I'm smarter or faster or prettier or anything than others, but because no one can be as good a 'me' as I am. I try and continue to work on improving myself: becoming a better person, becoming kinder, more patient, more loving, more gentle, more optimistic, resilient... and so on.

I think there's this illusion that we need to do great things to be special, while in reality I just think we need to be 'special people'. Not by our talents but by trying to work on the way we treat those around us. (and good heavens do I have a lot of work still in that area!)

As to what to do against feeling boring... try and find one or two activities that YOU like. Wether it's a sport, or reading, or learning how to do a craft or volunteerwork... Can you imagine how special the people are that work with the homeless or in hospitals? The only special talents they often need is willingness and patience. If you feel good about what you do with the time you do have, you'll feel less boring, wether you use that time to make your appartment look pretty as a picture, make a mangificent quilt, become a really good baker, or try to find an hour or two each week to go serve in a local retirement home, it will help you know who you are and how special you are.

This is very good to remember. If it does happen either he wasn't who you're supposed to be with or he will be back when he realizes his stupidity, and then it's your choice whether to take him back or not. I hate to be a downer, and it sounds like most are pretty confident in their relationships and that's good. It does happen though, it happened to me w/ my bf of 16 months. Just follow God's plan, and know you are special to Him and he has the perfect person out there for you.

 

[Chan1976]

We are both boring people, so it's ok for us .

 

[feesha]

yes, i've felt that way but we're very compatible and i guess he is "boring" too.

someone did mention not being able to play sports.. i think that is our biggest difference. i'm embarrassingly bad at sports while my SO is awesome..
yet i love to dance and my SO doesn't get that, he's not a dancer.

but if we're worried that we're not entertaining enough for each other i think that's silly! lol. we like each other for who we are not what we do. i don't think you should be with someone to keep you from being bored, those quiet moments are when life happens. when everything planned goes wrong..

 

[ByLoveAndGrace]

SO for those who don't feel this way...they must all do a lot of interesting things huh?????

Not true. I don't do much at all. I work at Starbucks, and I don't go to school. I'm not that great at sports, and I don't have many hobbies, the ones I do have, have really been put aside from lack of interest recently. BUT, I know that I don't bore my boyfriend, and I know that he loves me. He loves everything about me, and regardless of what I can DO, but rather just for who I am.

 

[Counsil]

I never feel to boring for my partner, becuae i am extreamly odd. Or a magnatude i can't really express in words. But thats not the point, one should love and be loved on the bassis of who you are as a person.

And odds are, one doesn't see them selves in an accurate manner. You see yourself as a composite made from the feed back you get from your significant others (Not just your partner, but any who's oppinion you believe is significant). This is the looking glass self. This is why one can feel to boring, flawed ect. and have their partner disagree.