Today is a sad day

[MercyBurst]

According to your interpretation of gay culture based on one guy's essay.

I think there is quite a strong case for saying gay monogamy is homophobic:
1) Monogamy requires a gay person to confine their sexual activities.
2) Monogamy makes gay partnering "sound straight" so it's "the same as" a straight relationship. (How often we hear them compared)
3) Monogamy is used to put a straight face on gay partnering, to conform to straight culture.

 

[tulc]

That's right, I'm heterophobic because I refrain from sex outside of my marriage. (just a thought)

hmmm you have an irrational fear of heterosexuals? That seems...odd. When did you first notice it?
tulc(does it affect your work?)

 

[Texas Lynn]

I think there is quite a strong case for saying gay monogamy is homophobic:
1) Monogamy requires a gay person to confine their sexual activities.
2) Monogamy makes gay partnering "sound straight" so it's "the same as" a straight relationship. (How often we hear them compared)
3) Monogamy is used to put a straight face on gay partnering, to conform to straight culture.

Monogamy among heterosexuals has always been more of an ideal than a reality.

 

[Celticflower]

By the way I'm not a heterosexual. Neither am I gay or bi. So don't label me that way. Thank you.

Sounds like you used to be me. Three of us were headed for a bar when the funniest thing hit us -- we were 3 social rejects! Bi-, homo- and non- sexual.

 

[Texas Lynn]

Sounds like you used to be me. Three of us were headed for a bar when the funniest thing hit us -- we were 3 social rejects! Bi-, homo- and non- sexual.

It reminds me of Ed Subitzky's tale of a species with 27 genders where people would go to 27 separate singles bars.

 

[Hentenza]

Monogamy among heterosexuals has always been more of an ideal than a reality.

Not really. The problem is the erosion of marriages based todays thinking. Me and my wife will be celebrating our 30th anniversary in 5 days.

 

[Crazy Liz]

Monogamy among heterosexuals has always been more of an ideal than a reality.

Not really. The problem is the erosion of marriages based todays thinking. Me and my wife will be celebrating our 30th anniversary in 5 days.

No, Even though my husband & I will have our 35th later this summer, I've got to agree with Lynn. Statistically, I think we're in a minority, even though monogamy is an ideal among most couples I know. We all achieve the ideal to a greater or lesser degree. Remember, Jesus said whoever lusts has already committed adultery in his heart. Some of us come closer to the ideal than others, but it is an ideal more than a reality, nonetheless.

 

[Hentenza]

No, Even though my husband & I will have our 35th later this summer, I've got to agree with Lynn. Statistically, I think we're in a minority, even though monogamy is an ideal among most couples I know. We all achieve the ideal to a greater or lesser degree. Remember, Jesus said whoever lusts has already committed adultery in his heart. Some of us come closer to the ideal than others, but it is an ideal more than a reality, nonetheless.

The problem is todays thinking concerning self gratification. We want it all now and no one better get in our way. Many marriages these days are by people that are not really willing to work or do what it takes to keep it together. Self gratification is the order of the day.

 

[MercyBurst]

hmmm you have an irrational fear of heterosexuals?

I have an aversion to sex outside of my marriage. I must repress my sexual desire for members of the opposite sex. Hence that makes me heterophobic doesn't it? I must flee from this temptation when it stands in front of me. Rather phobic of me.

That seems...odd. When did you first notice it?

It happened a long time ago. When I reached puberty I found I had an interest in the opposite sex....

tulc(does it affect your work?)

It affects me less than it used to. Part of this is due to my aging. I still find the opposite sex attractive, and I must suppress my desire for them since I am married.

Do you recommend I should stop fearing the consequences of an adulterous relationship? Maybe think more in terms of how to get away with it with your helpful input? (just a thought)

 

[tulc]

Do you recommend I should stop fearing the consequences of an adulterous relationship? Maybe think more in terms of how to get away with it with your helpful input? (just a thought)

What I think is you are to be commended for keeping to the sanctity of your marriage. What I find odd is you being afraid of us heterosexuals. We aren't scary people out to destroy you or your marriage, we heterosexuals just want to live our lives and raise our families just like everyone else. I myself have been monogamous my entire marriage!
tulc(33 years next January)

 

[Texas Lynn]

Not really. The problem is the erosion of marriages based todays thinking. Me and my wife will be celebrating our 30th anniversary in 5 days.

We had our 7th on 16 June. That makes us exceptions to the average.

Marriages in ancient times were able to last because the culture was such they just did; people married for economics and culture, but love was not a factor in the formation of the marriage at all though it did emerge later at times. Plus to be 43 years old was to have outlived most of one's agemates.

In more recent history marriages ended merely because of abandonment, whether legally or not; a fellow would leave, and impoverish, a wife and chn. and find another the next county over.

Social conservatism promotes the myth that society is worse than it used to be but there's no evidence of it. It amounts to nostalgia for a time which never was.

These days

 

[MercyBurst]

Monogamy among heterosexuals has always been more of an ideal than a reality.

A lot of married couples honor their marriage vows to "forsake all others until death do us part." It's a requirement for the pastorate in many church denominations.

 

[Texas Lynn]

The problem is todays thinking concerning self gratification. We want it all now and no one better get in our way. Many marriages these days are by people that are not really willing to work or do what it takes to keep it together. Self gratification is the order of the day.

This is certainly nothing new.

Chuck Berry's "You can never tell" tells the story of a Cajun couple's marriage that actually worked out to the surprise of the "old folks" (C'est la vie is Francais for 'what will be' or something like that):

You Never Can Tell
It was a teenage wedding,
and the old folks wished them well
You could see that Pierre
did truly love the mademoiselle
And now the young monsieur
and madame have rung the chapel bell,
“C’est la vie”, say the old folks,
it goes to show you never can tell
They furnished off an apartment
with a two room Roebuck sale
The coolerator was crammed
with TV dinners and ginger ale,
But when Pierre found work,
the little money comin’ worked out well
“C’est la vie”, say the old folks,
it goes to show you never can tell
They had a hi-fi phono, boy, did they let it blast
Seven hundred little records,
all rock, rhythm and jazz
But when the sun went down,
the rapid tempo of the music fell
“C’est la vie”, say the old folks,
it goes to show you never can tell
They bought a souped-up jitney,
’twas a cherry red ‘53,
They drove it down New Orleans
to celebrate their anniversary
It was there that Pierre was married
to the lovely mademoiselle
“C’est la vie”, say the old folks,
it goes to show you never can tell.
​

 

[Texas Lynn]

A lot of married couples honor their marriage vows to "forsake all others until death do us part." It's a requirement for the pastorate in many church denominations.

One that is routinely ignored.

The Scottish surname "MacVicar" means "bastard son of the Anglican vicar (clergyman)" and there were a lot of 'em.

 

[MercyBurst]

Social conservatism promotes the myth that society is worse than it used to be but there's no evidence of it. It amounts to nostalgia for a time which never was.

When my grandparents were coming up, nobody locked their door when they left the house. You never heard of suicide rampages. People seemed to feel a lot safer too.

 

[MercyBurst]

One that is routinely ignored.

I am sorry but it is REQUIRED in the fundie pastorate. No divorcees allowed. "THe husband of one wife" is a biblical requirement. Those pastors that do not obey the rule are defrocked. You need to read the church bylaws. The congregation is quite serious about this rule.

 

[tulc]

I am sorry but it is REQUIRED in the fundie pastorate. No divorcees allowed.

...well yes and no, you can't say all fundamentalist Churches have the same attitude.
tulc(knows that's not true)

 

[MercyBurst]

...well yes and no, you can't say all fundamentalist Churches have the same attitude.
tulc(knows that's not true)

ok, then you can provide the name of a fundie church that has a divorced pastor. You say you know for a fact -- so where's the data?

 

[tulc]

First Baptist Church of Atlanta?
tulc(to name one)

 

[Ohioprof]

First Baptist Church of Atlanta?
tulc(to name one)

You are right about this. When Charles Stanley got divorced, it caused an uproar in the Southern Baptist Convention. Apparently his church's by-laws say that a minister who divorces can remain as church pastor so long as he does not remarry. Stanley, who initially said he would step down as pastor of the church if he got divorced, later changed his mind. So this fundamentalist church has a divorced minister.