To the pro-choice and the pro-life.

[quatona]

I am pro-choice and pro-life, so I guess I have to answer both questions.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

I think the "pro-choice" gives the answer away, doesn´t it?
If she wants to talk with me I will talk with her, try to consider all relevant aspects and factors together with her, and then let her decide.

Pro-Life (and what I think is the harder of the two questions considering the stances)

You daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant, and after considering the circumstances (see above) has decided to get an abortion, but has decided to approach you with this first (there is a good chance they won't get one if you put your foot down and say NO!, as they are trying to be good kids even though they happened to mess up that one time). What do you do?

I would sit down with her and try to collect all relevant aspects and factors together with her, and then let her decide. I´m not the kind of guy who says "NO!" when it comes to important decisions of others.

Also, does the age matter, and if so, why?

It might matter in that the relevant factors and aspects might be different, depending on the age.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Everyone stands before God on their own account.Values are necessary to have commend ground.My children know who I am and where I stand on the matter.Two wrongs don't make it right.They also know I will always love them,but I will stand for truth no matter the personal pit falls.Your funny trying to tare down values in one aspect. While trying to build it up in another. The State of confusion is apon you. So as the old saying goes if everyone jumped off the Golden state bridge so shall you.

Even if you think it is wrong to have an abortion, to what extent will you force that upon your child? Will you disown them if they do, will you just offer not financial support, will you be there for them afterwards? What will you do about it.

And yes, I am in a state of confusion. Been there ever since God placed me there back on the night of September 28, 2002. But in chaos one can sometimes find beauty which order hath no comparison to. But even in confusion and chaos I do not follow the crowd. Sometimes our paths overlap, but even then I am not following, but going my own way.

 

[Lisa0315]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

Pro-Life (and what I think is the harder of the two questions considering the stances)

You daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant, and after considering the circumstances (see above) has decided to get an abortion, but has decided to approach you with this first (there is a good chance they won't get one if you put your foot down and say NO!, as they are trying to be good kids even though they happened to mess up that one time). What do you do?

Also, does the age matter, and if so, why?

Pro-Lifer, and I would tell my daughter/son, girlfriend/boyfriend that I will support them in any way they need. If it means that I adopt the child and raise myself, or pay all expenses, give them a home (married or not), or whatever they need...Anything to save the life of my grandchild.

Now, believe it or not, for most, that is not a hard question...a tougher question would be if a stranger approached you.

Lisa

 

[lawtonfogle]

Many who employ antagonism, enjoy it. Some don't. I didn't. Since you employ it, odds are you like it. Thing is, you may not realize that it also alienates some that agree with your point of view.

Personally I tend to try to ignore antagonistic posters in debates, particularly when there is a similarly themed post made in a non-antagonistic style I can respond to instead. If a thread gets too unruly, I tend to take my leave. That doesn't mean you won the argument. It's the same as having a face to face to discussion and the other person is screaming over you. At some point you say, 'Whatever, buddy'.

Know what I mean?

I know what you mean, but rarely do I use it (at least I would say rarely). When I put that 'blah blah blah' I had second thoughts about it, but went ahead. Maybe it had to do with me sensing (probably incorrectly) hostility in his post, which is often the factor in my becoming hostile (unless I am more hostile than I realize).

 

[lawtonfogle]

Pro-Lifer, and I would tell my daughter/son, girlfriend/boyfriend that I will support them in any way they need. If it means that I adopt the child and raise myself, or pay all expenses, give them a home (married or not), or whatever they need...Anything to save the life of my grandchild.

Now, believe it or not, for most, that is not a hard question...a tougher question would be if a stranger approached you.

Lisa

A different question would be if you couldn't support them (at least to any major extent)?

 

[Lisa0315]

A different question would be if you couldn't support them (at least to any major extent)?

I would find a way. In my family there is no word, "Can't" in our vocabulary. I would go into debt. I would work a second job. I would sell our house. There is nothing I would not do.

Lisa

 

[coyoteBR]

Well, I’d hope to teach any daughter or son of mine a lot about how to protect themselves in intimate moments. I hope to be able to show then how to avoid such situations.
But that’s not on the OP, right?
So, I will not take the father in question, either. For all I know, he ran away to Cochabamba.
I’d say to her that I’m there to support her, and that I love her no matter what. That I would help her, that me and her mother would even raise the baby while she was in college, if that’s the case. Money, time, nothing would be the problem.
That I would prefer her to have the kid. But, at the very end, it’s her decision. It’s her body. It’s her life. If she wants to consult a doctor and finish it at once, I’d go with her, pay for all the exams and procedures to guarantee her health, and support her nevertheless.

 

[Avatar]

I know what you mean, but rarely do I use it (at least I would say rarely). When I put that 'blah blah blah' I had second thoughts about it, but went ahead. Maybe it had to do with me sensing (probably incorrectly) hostility in his post, which is often the factor in my becoming hostile (unless I am more hostile than I realize).

Okay, cool.

 

[morningstar2651]

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

If they choose to keep the baby, then that is their choice. I'm pro-choice, after all.

 

[acropolis]

cross posting for great justice:

"We have anti-choice women in for abortions all the time. Many of them are just naive and ignorant until they find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Many of them are not malicious. They just haven't given it the proper amount of thought until it completely affects them. They can be judgmental about their friends, family, and other women. Then suddenly they become pregnant. Suddenly they see the truth. That it should only be their own choice. Unfortunately, many also think that somehow they are different than everyone else and they deserve to have an abortion, while no one else does."

 

[Exhausted]

Yeah, pro-choicers really do have the easier time of it, I would think.

Naturally I would advocate pursuing education on the subject, and I would probably mention my personal thoughts on the subject, in a light, abortion-advocating tone.

 

[mpok1519]

i would leave the choice to the mother

 

[Athene]

It's interesting how the pro-choice question assumes that being pro-choice is pro-abortion. Being pro-choice means being pro-choice and supporting the decision of the person making the choice even if you disagree with their reasoning. If you push people into an abortion because you think it's the right thing to do and their lives would be better in your opinion, that doesn't make you pro-choice, it makes you a busy-body who should learn to respect other peoples choices.

I suppose I'm pro-choice and I would be delighted that my daughter or daughter-in-law had decided to keep the child, it would be my grandchild after all, and I would offer them whatever support I could and encourage them to re-enter education at a later time, as I did. I didn't go to university until I was 21, and I had two children.

 

[allhart]

Even if you think it is wrong to have an abortion, to what extent will you force that upon your child? Will you disown them if they do, will you just offer not financial support, will you be there for them afterwards? What will you do about it.

And yes, I am in a state of confusion. Been there ever since God placed me there back on the night of September 28, 2002. But in chaos one can sometimes find beauty which order hath no comparison to. But even in confusion and chaos I do not follow the crowd. Sometimes our paths overlap, but even then I am not following, but going my own way.

As to disown them ,no. ,but to make this a one liner, no. I couldn't stand by that decision. Ya know In having children their is personal sacrifices. As well as joy and in the end family/ friends means more than any other gains in life beside having God their with you. The story of the righteous man named Job that held onto integrity no matter the personal cost. Rings in my head talking to you. There was no reason other than the loyalty to Gods truth and love that Job suffered.Other than testing his faith. A thought on that statement testing of the faith, as we do battle on a football field. There is losers and winners. Having a peace while in a storm come from a walking with God. One of the attributes in a relationship with God is a Quilt free conscience.Once you see that you have God's Grace you Should hold onto it no matter the cost. Just as Job did. Just as I am doing. If Jesus sacrificed his life by dieing on the cross.Then Why can't we sacrifice ours in the sake of another. In spite of our selfishness. ME, ME, I ,I , Kind thing. EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL IN OUR DECISION MAKING! Good bad or the ugly.

 

[CCGirl]

I am pro-choice, so I would stand by her no matter what she decided to do. Although I personally think age is a consideration. There is a big difference between a 14 year old and someone who is 21. I would probably mention adoption, since I adopted a child. I dont think it is a good idea for grandparents to adopt the child.

 

[Avatar]

since I adopted a child. I dont think it is a good idea for grandparents to adopt the child.

That depends on the grandparent. I'm in my late 30s and have children hitting puberty now. I think my wife and I have a good dozen years where we could adopt a grandchildchild and see it through to adulthood. After 50, adopting a newborn is iffy.

 

[Exhausted]

As to disown them ,no. ,but to make this a one liner, no. I couldn't stand by that decision. Ya know In having children their is personal sacrifices. As well as joy and in the end family/ friends means more than any other gains in life beside having God their with you. The story of the righteous man named Job that held onto integrity no matter the personal cost. Rings in my head talking to you. There was no reason other than the loyalty to Gods truth and love that Job suffered.Other than testing his faith. A thought on that statement testing of the faith, as we do battle on a football field. There is losers and winners. Having a peace while in a storm come from a walking with God. One of the attributes in a relationship with God is a Quilt free conscience.Once you see that you have God's Grace you Should hold onto it no matter the cost. Just as Job did. Just as I am doing. If Jesus sacrificed his life by dieing on the cross.Then Why can't we sacrifice ours in the sake of another. In spite of our selfishness. ME, ME, I ,I , Kind thing. EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL IN OUR DECISION MAKING! Good bad or the ugly.

Well, I don't want any quilts on my conscience...

 

[CCGirl]

That depends on the grandparent. I'm in my late 30s and have children hitting puberty now. I think my wife and I have a good dozen years where we could adopt a grandchildchild and see it through to adulthood. After 50, adopting a newborn is iffy.

I am sure you do have many good years........but there is no need to adopt the child, you can still be there for them, but they should be responsible for the child. And children adopted by grandparents are usually raised with the belief that their mother is their sister.

 

[Lisa0315]

I am sure you do have many good years........but there is no need to adopt the child, you can still be there for them, but they should be responsible for the child. And children adopted by grandparents are usually raised with the belief that their mother is their sister.

No, they aren't. That sounds like something out of a made for TV movie. Life is not like that. My brother was never adopted by my grandparents, but he lived with them his whole life. He knew who is mother was. As he got older, he could have lived with us, but he preferred it at our grandparents because that was his home. We had bunk beds and he would come stay the night with us. We lived within walking distance from him. We saw him every day.

A good friend of mine, she and her brother were adopted by their grandparents, but saw their parents all the time too. It is not uncommon especially if the parents are young.

Lisa

 

[Sitswithamouse]

. I dont think it is a good idea for grandparents to adopt the child.

I know a couple who live next door to me that have taken legal custody of their 3 year old grandaughter, because mum was too immature to look after her. It workd for them and they have a 10 year old son who has disability problems and another daughter who lives with her aunt.
Everybody is happy with the situation and it may seem a little dysfunctional but it works and they are all very close and would do anything for one another.

It is different strokes for different folks, but I would always go for this course of action with my daughters if the situation arose. I would take custody of my grand child and would work and sweat for him/her.
But if my daughter decided she wanted to abort then I would be sad, I wouldn't want her to do it, but it is her body and her choice, but I would fight tooth and nail to try and get her to keep it.

But it is not my body, it is her hers. How can I force her to do something that I feel I would do in her shoes.
She is not me and I would never force her to be me, if she had differing views.

Again pro-choice is the choice of someone to decide what they want to do, I would want the child to be saved, but it is not my body and not my choice.