To Forgive or Not Forgive - The In Laws

[mkgal1]

Just because you do cut ties doesn't mean you haven't forgiven, so once that's done, don't let anybody judge you or call you unforgiving.

Exactly.

In fact, I think I'd argue that, often, cutting ties with a person may just preserve what little bit of love you have for them. Where the opposite---continuing to TRY to maintain a relationship may just whittle away what's left.

 

[mkgal1]

Another thought I'd had is that often betrayal stings mostly because we're caught off guard. What I mean is......when you and your hubby *thought* everyone was getting along, you were then sort of caught blind-sided by all the mean remarks that revealed things weren't as rosy as you thought.

Now....moving forward....if you have the thought in the back of your minds that (at least) MIL and SIL are quite capable of talking behind your backs (yet....acting nice and cordial to your faces)....that may allow you to have a cordial, yet guarded, relationship.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

So we are in town now, just visiting his Mom, brother, and the nieces and nephews. I don't think we will see her, but you never know. Honestly, I'm really stressed about it... I did read what she sent and the whole conversation. My husband does have some things to eventually apologize for, but honestly... It's some awful stuff she said. We have agreed cutting ties is for the best, for sure, but if we see her I have no doubt there will be a blowout. I think today is safe, but next week... I don't think we will be so lucky. I'll get into that later since phone posting is rough. LoL!

Thanks guys!

 

[mkgal1]

Just something to keep in mind with that break with SIL (yet still maintaining the relationship with MIL) is something you wrote in your OP:

it can be traced back to how his mother is deeply religious and his siblings (while not deeply religious) follow the lead of their mother for the sake of family peace

It *could be* (not necessarily is, though) that SIL is what's called your MIL's "flying monkey" (reference from the Wizard of OZ). It's pretty common for people to use the tactic of feeding into a person's contempt for another (even creating the contempt) as a passive way to their own digs in (without being seen as the one that's the cause).

 

[bethrow]

I haven't read everything here, but I would not be in contact with that sister at all. I would consider the relationship "over". I'm not sure about the mother or the rest of the family because it didn't come from them, but only the sister and she might have been drunk.
Maybe your husband can approach his mother with what his sister said.
Awful! I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this stuff.
I can't believe your sister had two strange men in the house with your child. I would have been so angry. Your child could have been abused. That makes me sick.
She wouldn't be in my life ever again. That is for sure. If the rest of the family is like her...cut ties. There is no need to have people like this in your life.