To drink or not to drink...

[Skaloop]

So it's been three and a half months since I made a choice to change my alcohol use. For the first two months, I did not drink anything at all. For the past month and a half, however, I have allowed myself to drink on appropriate occasions. Special dinners. Certain get-togethers with friends. My goal was to be able to drink, socially and responsibly, without falling into my old ways of drinking too much too often at inappropriate times.

What I have discovered is that during the first two months, the urge to drink was fairly strong. I didn't, though. But there were times when it would cause some anxiety, knowing that I had to not drink.

For the last few weeks, however, that urge has not been near as strong. I attribute it to the fact that I am not forcing myself to try to be something I don't want to be. I don't want to totally abstain from alcohol. I want to enjoy alcohol responsibly, and now that I am able to do that, the desire to abuse it is greatly reduced. I am feeling much better these days, able to enjoy a pint or two in the pub, than I ever was trying to resist a desire that, in moderation, is essentiall harmless.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

 

[Taylor43]

I know for me i thought i could handle til recently i admit i cant. I am hoping others can be more of a help to you then me. I used to be a social drinker and now i am a closet drinker and relizing i need to stop before it causes problems in my life. I encourage you to keep posting here there are allot of caring people here.

I wish you the best. Do you find drinking is a escape? Or do you find it is does not have to play apart of your life you can go by. I use it as a escape from my problems. Just know others are here for you i am no big help to you just fallen back this month and need help to recover myself but i want you to know you are not alone in this and people are understanding here.

Hugs
Taylor

 

[Ruth~]

I quit alltogether because I cannot drink socially. I tried to but just cannot. I always want too much and there is never enough for me. But I congratulate you on being able to handle it. Maybe you don't have a problem now.

 

[Garnet2727]

Congratulations, Skaloop. I don't have the same experience, but I wish you well in your journey. I am simply incapable of drinking socially. Once I start, I don't stop. My hat's off to you.

 

[spdnet75]

Though I have no proof to lend you with regard to yourself, Skaloop, you are in all likelyhood, a consumate alcoholic.

There is no in between. We are simply who we are and unable to stop at a social level or point.

The most telling points for me, were hiding alcohol from the folks around me and then graduating to drinking things like Listerine. (I was a wreck with thinking that I was hiding something.)

I went 18 months without drinking once and then fell into another pile of mess because I was unable to recognize that I really had a problem.

I am in the final stage of Alcoholism today. (They call it, "The Body-Rot Stage".) I have around 25 % of my liver function left today and am scared to death that I will fail to keep myself from the rest of that damage, if I don't see that the people around me care.

I hope this helps you to find your own opinion of what might be going on with you.

-Stephen

 

[tapero]

I care spdnet. I care. People do care. I pray for you that you will be able to protect your body.
In Christ's love,
Tapero

 

[BigToe]

Skaloop, I wish you luck in your journey. But also understand that some people simply cannot drink at all. It doesn't mean they some how fail at life or are no fun, it simply means they have a disease. And like many diseases that require dietary changes, alcoholism does too. The fact that you realized you needed to change something is a good sign. And perhaps just being more aware is all you need for that change to take place.

 

[mustang_94]

So it's been three and a half months since I made a choice to change my alcohol use. For the first two months, I did not drink anything at all. For the past month and a half, however, I have allowed myself to drink on appropriate occasions. Special dinners. Certain get-togethers with friends. My goal was to be able to drink, socially and responsibly, without falling into my old ways of drinking too much too often at inappropriate times.

What I have discovered is that during the first two months, the urge to drink was fairly strong. I didn't, though. But there were times when it would cause some anxiety, knowing that I had to not drink.

For the last few weeks, however, that urge has not been near as strong. I attribute it to the fact that I am not forcing myself to try to be something I don't want to be. I don't want to totally abstain from alcohol. I want to enjoy alcohol responsibly, and now that I am able to do that, the desire to abuse it is greatly reduced. I am feeling much better these days, able to enjoy a pint or two in the pub, than I ever was trying to resist a desire that, in moderation, is essentiall harmless.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

"The idea that he can somehow control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of of every abnormal drinker." If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

 

[BCHS]

Yah im 14 but whatever get over it life goes on. My stepdad used to drink beat me and my mom.Along with my next stepdad , only he killed himself.
So.....dont drink

 

[Skaloop]

Yah im 14 but whatever get over it life goes on. My stepdad used to drink beat me and my mom.Along with my next stepdad , only he killed himself.
So.....dont drink

I'd say it's more a case of "don't beat your wife and kid" rather than "don't drink." I have never been violent with anyone, drunk or sober.

 

[huk]

I've heard lots about AA, but that was definitely not an option for me.

That was your qoute in another thread.
...........It's time someone told you the truth. Let's cut it right to the bone shall we?..........aa is not for you because:
a) your different.
b) your not that bad.
c) you can do it yourself
d) your special
e) insert whatever other self delusion here_____

you are an alcoholic!!!....period!!.....end of story!!.................I know you are because so am I.....been sober a long, long time and sponsored many men. The fact is this!!....you have a disease that has you by the ass and wants to kill you, AND IT WILL KILL YOU if you let it..you are now beyond human aid....YOU WILL NOT GET BETTER, CONTROL YOUR DRINKING, or any other self delusional nonsence under you own power...........aa is not for you because you have not yet hit a bottom............Go out and have a ball, get good and sick, then get to a meeting, get a sponsor and do what you are told...........That's the REAL reason aa is not for you. Your not yet ready to do as your told to help you save your own life

 

[Skaloop]

That was your qoute in another thread.
...........It's time someone told you the truth. Let's cut it right to the bone shall we?..........aa is not for you because:
a) your different.
b) your not that bad.
c) you can do it yourself
d) your special
e) insert whatever other self delusion here_____

you are an alcoholic!!!....period!!.....end of story!!.................I know you are because so am I.....been sober a long, long time and sponsored many men. The fact is this!!....you have a disease that has you by the ass and wants to kill you, AND IT WILL KILL YOU if you let it..you are now beyond human aid....YOU WILL NOT GET BETTER, CONTROL YOUR DRINKING, or any other self delusional nonsence under you own power...........aa is not for you because you have not yet hit a bottom............Go out and have a ball, get good and sick, then get to a meeting, get a sponsor and do what you are told...........That's the REAL reason aa is not for you. Your not yet ready to do as your told to help you save your own life

AA will never work for me because there is no higher power. I cannot complete most of the steps because they require me to acknowledge a higher power, and there is no way I can do that. It's that simple. I don't think I'm different or better or special or that I can do it on my own. I have support from real people, people who are important to me and can actually make a difference. No higher power can do that for me.

I don't deny that AA can be a great source for many people. But it's not the sure thing you make it out to be, and has been statistically shown to be not any better than any other legitimate treatment in the short term, and substantially less effective than other legitimate treatments in the long term.

I am managing my so-called "disease." I am not beyond human aid. I am doing better, and I am much better at controlling my drinking. I have, along with my wife, established several tools that will help ensure that I maintain this control. Going on five months now, and I have not faltered one iota. I know, you'll say it's not a long time and it won't last, but you'd be wrong. I have faith in myself, not some higher power.

On a slight side note, you are now the second person I've encountered who has ridiculed me and been wholly unsupportive of my desire to get better. Both of you are long-time AA members. It surprises me that such experienced people would be so uncompassionate towards someone who wants to improve themselves. Tearing someone down and belittling their choices is not an effective way to carry the AA message to others.

 

[huk]

okay, whatever!

 

[BigToe]

in AA, higher power doesn't mean God. It can mean the power of AA, it can mean the universe. It is fully and completely possible to be an atheist and do AA with a higher power.

 

[Skaloop]

in AA, higher power doesn't mean God. It can mean the power of AA, it can mean the universe. It is fully and completely possible to be an atheist and do AA with a higher power.

The AA website itself specifically says "God" and "Him" in the twelve steps. They try to appeal to non-Christians by including "higher power" and "as we understood Him", but it still calls for me to submit my will to a Higher Power, pray, meditate, and ask of a Higher Power, and believe that Higher Power can restore us and remove defects.

Those things require the Higher Power to be a being that can act on its own on our behalf. The universe is not a being. The universe cannot "do" anything. AA itself is not something to be prayed to, and an organization cannot remove personal defects.

The problem is not that AA requires a Higher Power different than mine, it's that AA requires any sort of Higher Power at all.

 

[BigToe]

It does so because it's a way to actively see and admit that you, yourself, are powerless over alcohol. by turning to something other than self for help (society, AA, whatever), it is easier to understand it is bigger than you. I know several atheists in AA who never pray or meditate and skip the religious jargon in the books. I'm pretty sure there are AA meetings set up for atheist groups too, I mean they have meetings that cater to lots of different groups.

 

[justanobserver]

The AA website itself specifically says "God" and "Him" in the twelve steps. They try to appeal to non-Christians by including "higher power" and "as we understood Him", but it still calls for me to submit my will to a Higher Power, pray, meditate, and ask of a Higher Power, and believe that Higher Power can restore us and remove defects.

Those things require the Higher Power to be a being that can act on its own on our behalf. The universe is not a being. The universe cannot "do" anything. AA itself is not something to be prayed to, and an organization cannot remove personal defects.

The problem is not that AA requires a Higher Power different than mine, it's that AA requires any sort of Higher Power at all.

AA dont require a higher power to be a participant or an active practising member. It requries an alcoholic to be willing to quit drinking. You can go to meetings, paricpate and have nothing to do with the Higher Power aspect to it. Trust me on this. When I go to my meetings, I dont do anything or say anything that I dont want to or am uncomfortable to or dont believe in.

I have NEVER EVER been to a meeting where I was forced to get involved or participate in the spiritual side of AA (for lack of a better way of saying it). I am respectful when they pray or have talks on Higher Power but it is not nor ever have been forced on me or mandated that I beleive to remain in the metings.

When I do my Steps, I just dont do the ones that have the spiritual stuff in it. not saying its wrong but I just aint into that aspect of it. So I do what part of it I can use for me. For those that the Higher Power/Spiritual ways work to remain sober - all the mopre power to them. it takes what it takes adn you do what you gotta do to stay sober and clean.