To all Single and Saved Sisters

[Tangi]

What makes you think that just because I am an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence
That I'm incomplete without a mate?
Who told you that Without a man Something's missing
From my life?

And if so, What would that be?

Love?
I love myself And more importantly I love the Lord
He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.


Intimacy?
Now, how's a man going to get to know me When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord.
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
And a gem does not seek It is sought



I'm single and that's all right with me



See, it's not that I oppose relationships It's that I detest co-dependency
As a woman I know it is not my role To chase after any man

Esther 2:14 reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call me by my name.


My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.


I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince him
Or Convict him of that, My mate will already know it, And consistently show it, And he will stay on his knees daily
Not just to adore me But to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found

So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone
I know what I have coming to me

I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

http://www.christianforums.com/t4222108-single-and-loving-it.html

 

[Deliberatetourist]

What makes you think that just because I am an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence
That I'm incomplete without a mate?
Who told you that Without a man Something's missing
From my life?

And if so, What would that be?

Love?
I love myself And more importantly I love the Lord
He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.


Intimacy?
Now, how's a man going to get to know me When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord.
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
And a gem does not seek It is sought



I'm single and that's all right with me



See, it's not that I oppose relationships It's that I detest co-dependency
As a woman I know it is not my role To chase after any man

Esther 2:14 reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call me by my name.


My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.


I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince him
Or Convict him of that, My mate will already know it, And consistently show it, And he will stay on his knees daily
Not just to adore me But to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found

So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone
I know what I have coming to me

I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

Very well put but keep in mind those are talking points and a whole lot easier to make at your age than someone much older and in a more desperate situation. If all we needed was God's love then we could all just stay at home and pray and never be in need of anything. THe fact of the matter is that someday another person will, in part play a role in the completion of your whole being. And that person wont be around forever as we all grow old and die but nontheless will add chapters to our lives that we will look back on and fondly remember never wishing to know what life would have been like without them.

 

[covenantwmn]

Very well put but keep in mind those are talking points and a whole lot easier to make at your age than someone much older and in a more desperate situation. If all we needed was God's love then we could all just stay at home and pray and never be in need of anything. THe fact of the matter is that someday another person will, in part play a role in the completion of your whole being. And that person wont be around forever as we all grow old and die but nontheless will add chapters to our lives that we will look back on and fondly remember never wishing to know what life would have been like without them.

What he said.

 

[Christianbelle]

Love it! It's so true. Above all, no matter what situation we are in, we need to seek Him first. The rest will fall into place. Let's face it, if He's not in it, it's doomed to begin with. I'd rather be without a mate and be in God's will than be in a relationship that wasn't in God's plans for me. It's takes three to have a relationship. He'll never lead us astray.

 

[Tangi]

Very well put but keep in mind those are talking points and a whole lot easier to make at your age than someone much older and in a more desperate situation. If all we needed was God's love then we could all just stay at home and pray and never be in need of anything. THe fact of the matter is that someday another person will, in part play a role in the completion of your whole being. And that person wont be around forever as we all grow old and die but nontheless will add chapters to our lives that we will look back on and fondly remember never wishing to know what life would have been like without them.

I do Understand DeliberateTourist, But God says seek him first and everything else shall he grant you, he did not says, the young ones or the older, with him everything is possible.

If you are desperate, you would get everything that comes in your face, but mind that not everything that flows in front of your eyes is God's will and intentions, so Pray and seek Him.

peace

 

[mina]

I think a lot of that is true. But also that God created us to be relational beings. I don't think it's needy or desperate to admit wanting to be with someone in life. God created families for a reason and I think it's a good thing to want to have your own family. This is just my opinion, but I haven't read anything in the Bible that tells me that should live with only God and myself in mind.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince him
Or Convict him of that, My mate will already know it, And consistently show it, And he will stay on his knees daily
Not just to adore me But to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found


At the end of a relationship that one didn't want to end...this is something to remember and hold on to.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

I think a lot of that is true. But also that God created us to be relational beings. I don't think it's needy or desperate to admit wanting to be with someone in life. God created families for a reason and I think it's a good thing to want to have your own family. This is just my opinion, but I haven't read anything in the Bible that tells me that should live with only God and myself in mind.

I agree in that God did create us to be relational beings - but that does not automatically mean a marriage/family relationship (of which we all know that not everyone will experience). There are lots of other relationships that can be just as fulfilling such as friendships, familial relationships, mentoring, etc. We were created to nurture and cherish these too. For example, if a person is unable to maintain simple platonic friendships, what makes you think they have the emotional stability to maintain a romantic relationship, much less a marriage? (I think of the bible verses where Jesus says that if we can't be faithful with a little, how will we be faithful with more?)

The fact that we are able to relate and emotionally connect with others (ie boyfriend, husband, best friend, etc) means that there are other important bonds out there to experience until we are finally bless with a mate/family (Lord willing). Shoot, they may even be stepping stones to that!



Oh yeah - good OP btw

 

[Diven]

You have Godly intelligence?!!!! Wow .

Yes you shouldn't feel you need someone else (apart from God) to make you whole. (This goes for both guys and women) Of course I don't think its wrong to desire such thing, or to on occasion feel down about the situation (so long as its not consuming you).

 

[mina]

I agree in that God did create us to be relational beings - but that does not automatically mean a marriage/family relationship (of which we all know that not everyone will experience). There are lots of other relationships that can be just as fulfilling such as friendships, familial relationships, mentoring, etc. We were created to nurture and cherish these too. For example, if a person is unable to maintain simple platonic friendships, what makes you think they have the emotional stability to maintain a romantic relationship, much less a marriage? (I think of the bible verses where Jesus says that if we can't be faithful with a little, how will we be faithful with more?)

The fact that we are able to relate and emotionally connect with others (ie boyfriend, husband, best friend, etc) means that there are other important bonds out there to experience until we are finally bless with a mate/family (Lord willing). Shoot, they may even be stepping stones to that!



Oh yeah - good OP btw

yes, you are right. But I still don't think it's wrong to want to be married or in a romantic relationship. There are a lot of other relationships in our lives, ones that we should definitely cherish, nurture , and enjoy; but I do think marriage is the most intimate and trusting that we could have with another human being. I am a good daughter, sister, and friend, but I still wish to have a marriage relationship. Lot's of women out there are good daughters, sisters, and friends, but I don't think it makes anyone desperate or needy to say that they would like to have a husband and be married.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

There are lots of other relationships that can be just as fulfilling such as friendships, familial relationships, mentoring, etc. We were created to nurture and cherish these too. For example, if a person is unable to maintain simple platonic friendships, what makes you think they have the emotional stability to maintain a romantic relationship, much less a marriage?

Any relationship will pale in comparison to an intimate relationship with someone you love. Sexual experience will deepen the bond between you and solidify your relationship as something where nothing is in comparison. If you haven't experienced this then honestly I guess I might as well be preaching to a cigar store Indian. Intimate realtionships and platonic relationships are horses of different colors. My mother was a wallflower and had only 1 friend in high school. A reclusive girl whose only friend was my mother. Both were basically social mishaps. My mother married right out of high school as did her friend and both are going on from the 40 year anniversary mark in successful marriages. By the same token, what makes you think persons adept in managing multiple platonic relationships have the emotional stability to maintian romantic relationships let alone marriages?

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Any relationship will pale in comparison to an intimate relationship with someone you love. Sexual experience will deepen the bond between you and solidify your relationship as something where nothing is in comparison. If you haven't experienced this then honestly I guess I might as well be preaching to a cigar store Indian. Intimate realtionships and platonic relationships are horses of different colors. My mother was a wallflower and had only 1 friend in high school. A reclusive girl whose only friend was my mother. Both were basically social mishaps. My mother married right out of high school as did her friend and both are going on from the 40 year anniversary mark in successful marriages. By the same token, what makes you think persons adept in managing multiple platonic relationships have the emotional stability to maintian romantic relationships let alone marriages?

Thanks for your antedotal comment, but the point of my post was to simply say that just because you are single, that doesn't mean that the relationships you currently have are not important or do not need nuturing. If you can't learn to communicate/express yourself/or become emotionally available to people in simple platonic relationships, why do you think you will all of a sudden become a totally different person in a marriage? If you can't communicate your feelings within a friendship (ie let's say you are upset with your friend/family member) but magically all of a sudden you can perfectly articulate yourself in a marriage? I HIGHLY doubt it - hence my statement earlier.

Gosh, I feel deeply sorry for people like you who only see their self worth/validation within the confines of a marriage. this mindset perpetrate the stereotype of the "desperate single person" that many on here so vehemently deny that exist.

well looky here.......

 

[Tink]

Doesn't matter what I had.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Tink, I think you all NEED to read the original post. No one said you guys were wrong for feeling the way you do but I am tired of people bashing those on here that are actually trying to be happy - that are actually trying to be content and joyful during this period of singleness (which is what the OP was about).

The knife cuts both ways....and unfortunately it bugs me that if you are remotely POSITIVE, here comes the onslaught of posts that feel the need to make others feel insensitive. I didn't know contentment equaled that.

 

[awashinlove]

So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone ...
I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

Great post.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Thanks for your antedotal comment, but the point of my post was to simply say that just because you are single, that doesn't mean that the relationships you currently have are not important or do not need nuturing. If you can't learn to communicate/express yourself/or become emotionally available to people in simple platonic relationships, why do you think you will all of a sudden become a totally different person in a marriage? If you can't communicate your feelings within a friendship (ie let's say you are upset with your friend/family member) but magically all of a sudden you can perfectly articulate yourself in a marriage? I HIGHLY doubt it - hence my statement earlier.

Gosh, I feel deeply sorry for people like you who only see their self worth/validation within the confines of a marriage. this mindset perpetrate the stereotype of the "desperate single person" that many on here so vehemently deny that exist.

well looky here.......

Wow, could you be a bit more condecinding? After your tirade it is apparent that you either didn't read anything in my post or you simply were at a loss for anything in response. Where did I say that my self worth was based in the confines of a marriage? Am I more desperate now than I was at 20? Yep, age has a way of doing that to all of us and if you're not there yet, prepare my little grasshopper. That does not by any means imply I am on skid row in respect. Hinestly things couldn't be going better right now. I just gave you two real world examples of people who don't fit your feeble stereotype and you completely glossed over that and returned to your unsupported assumption that a person who's a social dragnet is much more malleable marriage material. Based on what?

 

[mina]

I'm sorry if you think i was bashing anyone. I wasn't trying to. I appologize if I offended you in anyway. I agreed with much of the OP. But I did want to offer my perspective on how i feel also. That's what I thought threads in an open forum were for. I think marriage is an awesome thing. That doesn't mean i'm not making the most of my singleness or that i sit around and whine. I do discuss how i feel on things, however. sorry. I don't see why singles can't support each other in struggles when they are admitted. It doesn't have to be a war. Rudeness should not be championed for any side of this issue.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I'm sorry if you think i was bashing anyone. I wasn't trying to. I appologize if I offended you in anyway. I agreed with much of the OP. But I did want to offer my perspective on how i feel also. That's what I thought threads in an open forum were for. I think marriage is an awesome thing. That doesn't mean i'm not making the most of my singleness or that i sit around and whine. I do discuss how i feel on things, however. sorry. I don't see why singles can't support each other in struggles when they are admitted. It doesn't have to be a war. Rudeness should not be championed for any side of this issue.

You weren't bashing anyone mina. There are two sides to this issue. Simply those who want to be married and those who are, at this point happy remaining single. From my experience the single lifestyle even loaded with platonic companionship pales in comparison to a deep, meaningful and intimate relationship with someone you truly love. Maybe it's just that my relationship was better than others. If thats the case I feel truly sorry for them in that respect. Simply, from my experience marriage has more to offer me than a life awash in single graces. Thats for me. I wont sit here and tell you that your single experience isn't worth living because you havent got a mate. Nor have I wittnessed married people bashing single people. I have observed many of the singles crowd in question doing the inverse.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Wow, could you be a bit more condecinding? After your tirade it is apparent that you either didn't read anything in my post or you simply were at a loss for anything in response. Where did I say that my self worth was based in the confines of a marriage? Am I more desperate now than I was at 20? Yep, age has a way of doing that to all of us and if you're not there yet, prepare my little grasshopper. That does not by any means imply I am on skid row in respect. Hinestly things couldn't be going better right now. I just gave you two real world examples of people who don't fit your feeble stereotype and you completely glossed over that and returned to your unsupported assumption that a person who's a social dragnet is much more malleable marriage material. Based on what?

DT, I can give you examples of tons of people that don't fit your two examples - so what? Did I say that my post was 100% accurate and irrefutable - nope, so don't play like it was.

Anyway, I think I covered what I had to say in my earlier post in terms of platonic relationship/marriage relationships and why I believe to have a connection. Here let me help you since i think it slipped by you....

Your question...

By the same token, what makes you think persons adept in managing multiple platonic relationships have the emotional stability to maintian romantic relationships let alone marriages?

My response....

Thanks for your antedotal comment, but the point of my post was to simply say that just because you are single, that doesn't mean that the relationships you currently have are not important or do not need nuturing. If you can't learn to communicate/express yourself/or become emotionally available to people in simple platonic relationships, why do you think you will all of a sudden become a totally different person in a marriage? If you can't communicate your feelings within a friendship (ie let's say you are upset with your friend/family member) but magically all of a sudden you can perfectly articulate yourself in a marriage? I HIGHLY doubt it - hence my statement earlier.

Please notice that what I am talking about have nothing to do with being the popular kid in high school or having a full social calendar. No where do I say that a person needs a plethora of friends/relationships. I am specifially talking about having a lack of non-romantic relationships with little to no connection with another person.

If it don't agree with it - fine. I didn't know we had to have 100% agreement in order to post.