tired of everything

[RD1981]

Hi everyone, I just need to vent.

I dont know if it's me or the people I'm around but im depressed and it's irritating. I just feel out of place with the people I grew up with and my family and other people in my life It's hard to be around people when they just sit home and drink and smoke or go out to clubs to have a good time. I've always been able to stay on a better path in my life, I'm not perfect but I know and people in my life can tell I'm a good person for not getting into the wrong things. But this is hurting my social life.

Addition to this, I met a very attractive girl a few years ago who I thought was everything I was looking for, but she's just the opposite most of the time. I'll let you know, she likes other women but she told me she did like me at the time, but i guess she was lying to get me to take care of her until she found another girlfriend, she did this to me twice and me thinking by helping her she would change didnt work . I've been praying for her and I even still helped her out with anything she needed whenever she calls me. But no matter how much good I've done for her and how much prayer she still wont change her ways, she's still selfish and deceiving. I cant believe someone would have the capacity to do the things she does, she's caused me so much pain at times i wanted to die. But I can't stop praying for her, even though things are only getting worse. She said that she wanted me as a bestfriend, but deep inside I still love her, but i know she doesn't like men anymore. I really hate the way life is right now. I dont get the whole lesbian/gay thing, I hate it. I dont know what to do because I can't get past this. I'm lonley and im only 28, It seems like the rest of my life wont be any different. I pray about this all the time.

 

[rbs70]

My dear brother, I have been in a close situation. The girl I was dateing wasnt bi-sexual but strung me along none the less. We dated for 3 months and called it quits. All she used me for was to make her babys daddy jealous. I was told things with him ended 2 years ago and I quickly fell in deep love with her and her little girl. At the time I drove a sports car that I worked very hard for as coming from a very poor family it was a very hard item to get.

So I had the car when we met and she thought I was rich, when she saw I was dirt poor she grew distant. I was blinded by love, being a very street smart man I feel into her traps. I spent over $300 in 2 months on her with her only giving back $1 for an icecream that her little girl distroyed. Plain and simple I know what she was doing, I could see it as plain as day but I didnt want to belive it. I put myself through hell the last month of our friendship over not seeing the truth. When the end came and I admitted it to myself I died in my heart. I had a panic attack and I felt myself leave my body as I laid in bed that night. I dont know if that was a true near death expriance but thats how I felt.

After that I had a very hard time loving again but I learned that God WILL send you your girl, the right girl for you, she may have her problems but so do we all. Just accept the gift God gives you and dont get hung up on looks or age. Just make sure she is from God and your set.

I got married 4 years after this girl did this to me. She was an answer to my most passion filled prayer. I remember laying in my bed crying my eyes out at age 28 just like you and my wife was working right beside me in our local store, I was just too blinded by her age(19) to even think of her in that light, but every time I turned around she was right there being an nice as pie and comforting me when life got too hard. She was my angle and still is.

As for the other girl I still think of her but I know I got the real goods from God with my wife. If you have to fix a person then they may not be the one for you, it hurts dear brother I know full well but the truth will save you from alot more hurt if you let it.

I will be praying for you
Love
Brian

 

[Johnnz]

She does not want to change. All she will do is break your heart even more. That's hard on you to have to face up to that fact, but don't let your desire for relationship bind you to someone who will just use you.

John
NZ

 

[RD1981]

thanks guys for replying,

to add to what I posted earlier, I've do have love for her, but I am willing to keep it as friends. I feel bad for her because she doesn't work and is basically living from place to place. Her and her two younger sisters were adopted and I'm sure she has had a different up-bringing that most women. She was also raped, so knowing all of this made me more cautious of how I treated her. It's not that she's totally out of control, it's just that we could be having a good time but as soon as she finds another women she likes, she stops calling and starts acting weird. It's like she's drunk with some evil spirit or something.

I've met her family and they told me that they have tried everything, so it's not just me. I got a text message from her older brother a couple of weeks ago, he thanked me for everything I have done for her. I really needed to hear that, because I wasn't sure what they thought of me. I'm still praying for her, but I'm gonna be wiser in how I help her out.