timeline anyone??

[BoxBunny]

My boyfriend would like to discuss the timeline issue, but I won't let him just yet. We've been in a long distance relationship for the past two years, and until we both reach the point in our lives where moving in together is feasible any and all talk of further commitment is off the table.

As a joke, I like to tell him that the M-word can be mentioned just as soon as he finishes reading all books currently published in the Wheel of Time series. As he hates to read, and the books average about 650 pages each I figure that I've bought myself three years minimum. Hehehe.

 

[ANurseInChrist]

My boyfriend would like to discuss the timeline issue, but I won't let him just yet. We've been in a long distance relationship for the past two years, and until we both reach the point in our lives where moving in together is feasible any and all talk of further commitment is off the table.

As a joke, I like to tell him that the M-word can be mentioned just as soon as he finishes reading all books currently published in the Wheel of Time series. As he hates to read, and the books average about 650 pages each I figure that I've bought myself three years minimum. Hehehe.

So do you have a list of things that have to be accomplished before you can talk about marriage? Is this a feasable list or one that will cause frustration as he works to get it done?

 

[BoxBunny]

So do you have a list of things that have to be accomplished before you can talk about marriage? Is this a feasable list or one that will cause frustration as he works to get it done?

I would like to point out the prepositional phrase "as a joke" before my little satirical condition. But yes beyond this I do have a list, a list I am holding us -both- to.

First, I've got to finish school. I know myself, I don't have the time or energy to devote myself to my education and a family. Whatever I'm involved in, I throw myself into 100%. I will not consider marriage until I am in a position to commit to it fully.

Second, as I mentioned we are in a long distance relationship. He is working to save up the money to move to where I am, but that is still sometime away. Thinking of marriage right now, while we are not even able to see each other on a regular basis is highly premature and immature.

Thirdly, we both still have some growing up to do. He is slowly becoming more finacially independant, and maturing everyday. I do not handle stress well, and generally it results in me becoming physically ill or refusing food for a while. I don't want anyone else having or even trying to shoulder that burden. I am much better than I was last year, but I still have a distance to travel.

Lastly, once grad school is over I've got to take that education to get a job that will support a family.

So no I don't believe this list will cause unnecessary frusteration, in fact it will avoid a ton of it. I joke about it though because I do love my boyfriend and in a few years I might like make more permanent change in our relationship. Right now though it just isn't an option, but that doesn't mean that it might not one day be a possibility. By making light of it all, it reminds him of this bit of hope.

 

[ANurseInChrist]

I would like to point out the prepositional phrase "as a joke" before my little satirical condition. But yes beyond this I do have a list, a list I am holding us -both- to.

First, I've got to finish school. I know myself, I don't have the time or energy to devote myself to my education and a family. Whatever I'm involved in, I throw myself into 100%. I will not consider marriage until I am in a position to commit to it fully.

Second, as I mentioned we are in a long distance relationship. He is working to save up the money to move to where I am, but that is still sometime away. Thinking of marriage right now, while we are not even able to see each other on a regular basis is highly premature and immature.

Thirdly, we both still have some growing up to do. He is slowly becoming more finacially independant, and maturing everyday. I do not handle stress well, and generally it results in me becoming physically ill or refusing food for a while. I don't want anyone else having or even trying to shoulder that burden. I am much better than I was last year, but I still have a distance to travel.

Lastly, once grad school is over I've got to take that education to get a job that will support a family.

So no I don't believe this list will cause unnecessary frusteration, in fact it will avoid a ton of it. I joke about it though because I do love my boyfriend and in a few years I might like make more permanent change in our relationship. Right now though it just isn't an option, but that doesn't mean that it might not one day be a possibility. By making light of it all, it reminds him of this bit of hope.

That makes sense. I understand that clearly.
Best wishes and God Bless.

 

[TG39051]

My SO and I have only been dating just over 3 months. We're both divorced - he 2 and a half years, me separated for just over a year and divorced 4 months. He says I am the only person he has dated that he could see a future with. I've had two broken marriages - the first b/c we were TOO young (20) and the second b/c he couldn't stay home and out of the bar. When it comes to marriage, I start to have anxiety attacks. However, I am ready to move in together. We're almost an hour apart and come summer, I am going to have to make decisions for my daughter's kindergarten arrangements. So I feel like I am rushing it but only b/c I don't want to have to move her in the middle of a school year but I don't think I can wait another year and a half to move in together. I know many of you will think that is wrong, and I can't explain it. I guess I am just insecure b/c of past relationships and won't believe his commitment to me - though he's told me time and time again and not given me a reason to doubt him - until he is ready to take that step.