Time to change churches?

[Jesus Ranger]

I currently attend a Wesleyan church. It is a good Bible believing church. I have a young family, and we have enjoyed going there for the past two years. Unfortunately I seem to have come to a spiritual dead end, and don't know exactly which way to turn. My church is full of older christians that have a set way of doing things, and are very resistant to change. My wife and I are in our mid to late thirties and we are one of the youngest couples there. For a while this was OK, but now our kids, 8 and 9, are beginning to need to know more about the things of God, unfortunately their Sunday School doesn't feed them spiritually. It is basically a nursery service. So this in itself is beginning to be a problem, but there is more. The worship services tend to be very formal and dead. The older christians basically think just because they have occupied a pew for fourty years, they already have a ticket to Heaven. I'm afraid I am at a spiritually dead church. I suppose the straw that broke the camel's back was today. I attended a local non-denominational church for a Gospel sing. The difference in the style of worship was amazing! Young and old people praising God and singing and just generally enjoying their worship immensely. No long faced Christians there. On the way out the pastor greeted me as if he had known me all my life.My Pastor barely speaks to me, basically he ignores me. I e-mailed him with a question and he never even replied to me, and it's not the first time. The people are kind of cliquish and have a scowl on their face, instead of the love of Jesus, as I experienced at the non denominational church, plus they have a wonderful program for the youth. Something my church basically neither wants or desires. I have been praying about this now for some time. I know I need to change, but I am a creature of habit. I am not meaning to bash my current church, there are many good Christians there, but the few "Ugly" ones kind of ruin it. I realize that you are going to find these people in all churches. It just seemed this church felt like a much better fit for a young family. What would you do in my situation? peace and God Bless.

 

[Blessed-one]

um..... it's important to find a church that you feel comfortable in. If i were in your situation i would probably change church after spending some times to pray about it. Maybe your encounter with this new church is God's way in opening a new path for you.

*praying for your family*

 

[HesMyAll]

If you are not being fed spiritually then you do need to spend some time in prayer and ask God to lead you where you will be fed spiritually.  Your children also need more from a church than a babysitting service.  They need spiritual food also.  I know what you are talking about because I used to attend a church much like the one you describe.  I came to think of it as a country club.

I will pray that God will lead you to a good Bible based church that is growing spiritually.  I attend a church where young and old alike enjoy praising the Lord and just enjoying His loving us.  I hope you will find a church that will meet your needs.  Worship should never be dead and dull.  Worship should be enthusiastic and vibrant.  I found a place where God is loved and the people are not afraid to show it and you can too.  Follow the Lord's lead and you can't go wrong.

 

[Wayne123]

It's very important to find a church that suits everyone in your family. This church you speak of sounds great. Your kids need to have an enthusiastic view toward church. They need a church that will feed them in many ways. I stopped going to church when i was around 12 becasue of all of these reasons. Church was boring for me and offered me nothing. I think it's important that your kids make some good christain friends now while they have the chance. They need to enjoy going.

I truely believe that the church I go to now is the right one for me. It feeds me on many levels. If I wasn't lead to this church I probally wouldn't go. Find a church that suits you.

The older traditional type churchs suit some types of people. The upbeat spiritually aware churchs suit other types of people. The list goes on and on... Don't be afraid of changing churches. Find one that your 100% happy with. I'm sure there is a church somewhere waiting for you with open arms. I know you'll find it with prayer.

 

[JOYfulbeliever]

Wow. You just described the church that I grew up in. I finally got up the courage to leave a little less than a year ago. It was a VERY hard thing for me to do, because I had a lot of emotional ties to the church - not that the emotional ties should have kept me there, but it sure made my decision more difficult. It was the church that my family had always been in - for generations. I was "born in the nursery", grew up through their sunday schools, AWANA's, youth group...and actually started teaching SS, AWANA and Children's church when I was 14. The older I got, the less I felt like I was growing. I felt the same way as you...that I was in a dead church. They are a Bible believing and preaching church, but they are very old fashioned and conservative (not that there is anything wrong with that), but they are stuck in their ways and do not believe in change. I have absolutely nothing wrong with the old hymns and love to sing them myself, but I can't say that I always get something out of them the way I do a lot of the praise and worship songs where I feel like I can actually PRAISE God through them. Of course, raising your hands, clapping or any sort of movement that could be falsely portrayed as dancing is strictly prohibited. The preacher is actually a good preacher - he preaches the gospel - and gears it towards senior citizens. Great for the older members of the church, but the middle age and young people really struggle with applying it to themselves. They either "like" you there (and by like, I mean they put you on a pedastal - I sat on it for 21 years), or you are looked down upon. I didn't realize how dead spiritually that I was until I went to college and got involved in some campus ministries, as well as a local church. That is when I started to realize that I was holding myself back from growing spiritually by staying at this church. When I came home, I found out my younger sister had realized the same thing and was already breaking away and going to another church in our area. I went with her a few Sundays and the difference was absolutely amazing. This church is on fire for God and you know it as soon as you walk into a room with any of them. I never felt that at my old church. At this church, I can be myself without being in fear that someone is picking me apart looking for something to condemn me on as I felt at my old church. I can praise the way that I need to praise and no one judges me for it. I can wear a pair of pants to church and no one says I am going to hell because of it, and you don't know how good that feels!! haha! My old youth pastor approached me about not being at the church much and asked me if I was "dipping somewhere else". I told him that I had been visiting another church and I really felt like that might be where God was leading me. He told me, "you need to be in your own church and not out trying to find entertainment in another church." That was about all it took for me. If he sees it as entertainment, then I was wrong all these years when I thought he had really gotten to know ME and who I was. And it wasn't too long before I told him..."I AM going to my own church." I told him that I was sorry that he felt as though I was doing something wrong, but that I thought that HE was wrong for thinking that. I did remind him that there are a lot of other places that I could be and a lot of other things that I could be doing rather than going to a different church. He hasn't had a lot to say to me since. The funniest part about the whole situation is that they are "sister" churches. The old church has the new church on their prayer list and prays for them all the time. (The new church does the same with the old, but it's the old that seems to have the problem with the new).

I can tell you this. I have never felt stronger in my Christian walk than when I changed churches. Now mind you, this was a very long thought out, and mostly prayed about decision. I feel as thought I followed God in this decision...it wasn't one I made on my own. But it has been the best decision spiritually that I could have made at that point. God has blessed me. I am VERY active again. I am teaching SS, I sing, I am a sign language interpreter and interpret the services for the few deaf ladies that come, as well as I teach a beginner ASL class at the church, I work with the youth - and through all of that - God teaches me and blesses me through each area.

I really encourage you to pray long and hard about the situation. Visit some other churches. Just because you visit somewhere else doesn't mean that you have to make that your church. God may want you somewhere else and sometimes I think we hold back because we question whether He is really calling us for that "change". I'll be praying for you and if you want to talk about this at all, feel free to PM me. I've definitely been in your shoes!!!

 

[ZiSunka]

The point of church is to have a place that will encourage and nurture spiritual growth and offer mutual support.

If you aren't getting that, it's time to change churches.

My dad stayed in a church that didn't help him grow for thirty years, and he didn't grow. I didn't even know he was a Christian until he told me about his salvation experience when he was a young man. He left that church after my mom died, and went to a lively church and he is growing by leaps and bounds. It seems like the Lord is making up for all those wasted years by giving my dad exponential growth for the last ten years!

Change! Go! Find a living church and it will change your spiritual life!

 

[DaveKerwin]

If I was you, I would see if you can't help it grow and excite people in the faith. Maybe work with a youth program. If nothing seems to be happening, then move on.

My friend Josh told me about his move to the church that I attend. When he was about 8 or 9, his parents felt the church was not meeting the spiritual needs of their children. So they found a church with a dynamic youth program for their kids. And this helped them a lot as they grew in the faith through the junior and senior high groups. Josh loves and serves the Lord now, which may be a product of the youth program. So in this scenario, it was of benefit to change churches. It may not be the same for you though. As a side note, I find the youth program of the church to say a WHOLE lot about the rest of the body of believers there. Just a thought.

 

[Autumn]

I am currently in the same situation.  The only problem is that the church I want to go to, my husband doesn't seem to like very much.  This new church is very enthusiastic and full of the Spirit of God.  The worship is so powerful, I never want it to end, and tears of joy stream down my face the whole time.  I love seeing, young, old, big, small and all different people worshiping Jesus.  The teaching is good, but not as strong as it could be.  I hope that God leads us to the right church for us, if this isn't it.

 

[got2be]

Please do not take this the wrong way, but are you looking for people to condone your leaving? And if you are, have you stopped and asked yourself why?

What I see is someone with the discernment to realize the situation they, their family, and their church is in. It is tough to know what to do with that knowledge.

I guess what I am trying to say - is it possible you have been given this understanding for a reason? Why not bring this up formally with the pastor, board, and members with a loving spirit? It is harder than just moving on, but that should be expected. If it is rejected and they will not listen, go your way in peace. If they do listen, you have won over your church. Either way, your conscience is clear.

 

[Amy]

Yep, sounds like time to change churches to me. I've done that once, and it wasn't an easy decision. Took me more than a year to bring myself up to making that step. And when I did, my only regret was that I hadn't done it earlier!

 

[panterapat]

Dear Jesus Ranger,

All Christian churces were started by man save one. The Catholic Church traces it's roots back to Jesus Christ. (historical fact) Until the 16th Century, there was only one Christian church and it was Catholic.

Many churches fall in and out of favor due to the pastors, leadership, practices etc. The Catholic Church has stood the test of time for 2003 years.

Just imagine receiving the Body, Blood,Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ in the Most Holy Eucharist!!!!!! Jesus promised this to us in His Discorse on the Bread of Life (John 6) Jesus first gave us His Body and Blood at the Last Supper.

I invite you to the banquet of the Lord. Consider yourselves formally invited to become Catholic. There is no experience on earth as sublime as receiving Jesus physically into your body.

It seems too good to be true. But this is our faith. Do not turn away like those people did as Jesus told them of eating His Flesh and drinking His Blood. Come join the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.

In Christ, Patrick

 

[cynjo59]

I grew up in a Wesleyan Church and also often frequently attended a Baptist church. I left both and I would never go back. Don't get me wrong- both had and still have some wonderful Christian people in them. But, the style of worship seemed so lacking and so structured. I now go to a Pentecostal church and have for the past five years. My girls have grown SO much spiritually that it is just awesome to me. In our worship services I have seen people healed, and have been healed myself. Our church has no bulletin, no preplanned sermon, etc... we just go where the Holy Spirit leads us. God led us to this church and we are so thankful that He did. He will lead you in the same way to the church where He wants you to be. All you need to do is pray and seek His will. You'll know when you are in the right place.

 

[panterapat]

A friend of mine who was a Wesleyn pastor has recently become a Catholic. He and his wife are wonderful additions to our parish. They have assumed leadership roles as lectors (read the Bible during Mass) and cantors(leading sung responses). They are also active in the evangelizatoin efforts of our parish. They have truly been a blessing to us!

In Christ, Patrick