Time for a Change?

[FallingStar0631]

I am a Christian, have been my entire life. I believe what is written in the Bible, just...it's my life. And I believe that God has a plan for my life and there are certain decisions He wants me to make. I'm praying, but i could really use some advice...

I have been going to my home church for 15 years. a year a go my parents had a fall out with the pastor there and they left. I decided to stay. But i also decided to go to my parents new church on saturday evenings. I sing on the worship team there and have for several months. but i don't kno if i'm supposed to stay in that church. i feel like it's a chore. i feel like i'm singing for all the wrong reasons and most nights i don't even want to go but end up going out of a sense of obligation.

i don't know that to think. i don't like going there. i don't like singing on the worship team. i don't feel inspired or happy when i'm there. i don't get anything out of the sermons.

however, that could be just that my attitude is wrong. or is God telling me it's time to move on?

the problem with that, is that my parents will be very disappointed in me. and i feel like i'm letting so many people down. i don't know what to do.

is my attitude wrong and that's what i need to change? or do i need to leave the church altogether because it's hindering my relationship with Christ?

 

[ContentInHim]

Hi, Falling Star, and welcome to 4U.

I don't rightly know a good answer to your question. Do you live with your parents? Are you 18 or younger? If so, you should probably go with your parents until you live separately from them. If you are older, you are probably being nudged to move on. If the new church is hurting your relationship with God, you might discuss this with your parents. If you are unhappy at the new church, it might be God teaching you to lean on him and not on any church.

There, that didn't help at all, did it?

Hopefully others will have some good answers for you!

 

[Solidlyhere]

FallingStar likes her home Church.

Fallingstar does NOT like her new Church.

The problem is: Mom and Dad will be hurt if I decide to leave their new Church.

At one level ... what does it hurt you to spend 2 hours a week pleasing your Parents?
Many people can be happy that they are making their Parents happy.
Apparently, you are NOT one of those people.
In fact: "i don't like singing on the worship team. i don't feel inspired or happy when i'm there. i don't get anything out of the sermons."

I wonder if your negative feelings in this new Church have anything to do with feeling (somehow) guilty for "cheating" on your home Church? Or, that you are feeling angry to be "obligated" to accompany your Parents?

I assume (and you tell me if I'm wrong) that you LIKE singing at your home Church, but do NOT like singing at the new one.
This lets you know that you can't feel the Spirit of God in your Parent's Church.

Certainly you are allowing yourself to feel miserable about your Parent's Church.
I think it has to do with much more than being bored.
Your words make it sound like 2 hours or weekly torture.

So, I DO agree that your attitude is non-beneficial.
It is counter-productive to feel lousy about going to Church.
After all, Jesus (and the Holy Spirit) are equally there in both Churches, so you are (for some reason) NOT feeling it (even though you can feel it at your home Church).

It is NOT Scriptural that a person needs to attend 2 different Churches each week.
Most of us survive quite well attending one Church.

I would like some more info from you, if possible:
1) Why are you singing in your Parent's Church choir at all?
It's one thing to show support to your Parents, but it's another thing to pile on obligations too.

2) Have you made any friends at your new Church?
If not, that fact alone could make things pretty depressing.

But, the Bottom Line is: If the worst that would happen to you is have your Parents feel a little disappointed in you, that is NO reason to continue going to their Church.

 

[Johnnz]

You are no longer a child. Make your own decision and move on from there.

Church is meant to be a source of life, not a chore.

Obligations to others does not always equate with our responsibility to God.

Don't expect God to speak dramatically when we are capable of making our own sensible decisions.

John
NZ

 

[Servant222]

Go to both services, and be thankful that you can spend that additional time learning about the Lord, while at the same time doing something that is pleasing to your parents.

Two Bible verses come to mind:

Matthew 22:

37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment.

and

Ephesians 6:

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

We always need to be careful to remember that when we go to any religious service, there will always be some things that we don't like because a religious service is, after all, a man-made institution, fraught will all the problems of any man-made institution.

But if you focus on God, then the frustrations of the man-made religious service become irrelevant, and you'll find that every service will offer you something.

 

[Jenster]

I agree it depends on how old you are. IF you are under 18, the situation is much stickier than if you are older and presumably able to make your own decisions.

You can please your parents in any number of ways. You do not have to go to their church and sing in their worship team to do so. You are responsible for your spiritual health. If you are growing at your home church, by all means continue to go there and discontinue going to the new church.

Have you spoken with your parents about this? Sometimes we fear what might happen, but when we actually talk about it, we find that what we feared does not happen.