thouroughly confused!!

[Tsaxgurl317]

hey guys,
I don't really know where to put this so I'll put it here, I could really use some advice....Lately I've been feeling pretty down, and thinking about a lot of stuff and it's just gotten me thouroughly confused!...i'm kinda down because..i never follow through with anything i say...like i said i was gonna go back to church and i never make it back...i dunnno...just seems like a cycle i can't get out of, something happens i say i'm going back to church, i don't, something happens etc..etc.. i havn't gone to church in 8 months...and it's been the hardest 8 months, and i know it's because i havn't had things right...I just don't have that desire, but everynow and then i'll read something or listen to a song and be like "oh thats it i'm going back to church", but it never lasts long...and i've tried praying and went back to my old church a few times before i moved, but sense i've moved it's become impossible pretty much. my mom who i prayed for, for 5 years finally got saved the month after i quit going to church, and i'll see her reading the bible or she'll ask me a question and it's like i dunno...i want to go back..but i don't know how to go about it anymore...i guess i'm pretty confused! i want to be able to go back to church and have things back how they were...but there's just so much i've changed in my life, that i know isn't nessicarily good, but i like it and don't really want to change. i need to sacrifice it, i just don't know how to go about it anymore..because for five years, while my parents were doing all they could to get me away from church i was able to stay strong, and something little like being bored with it took me away...

really sorry this was so long winded...any help you could offer would be greatly appriceated!!
whit

 

[ZiSunka]

What's keeping you from going?

What's changed in your life that you like and think going to church would make you stop doing?

Are we talking about a specific sin, or general apathy?

 

[Tsaxgurl317]

I don't understand what's keeping me from going...i think it's probably just me...and the fact i'm in a new town and don't know where to go only makes it easier to make excuses...

theres been lots of things that i've changed, that has just slaked my life, and it's easier to not try....

 

[Tsaxgurl317]

just ignore this...it, like me, doesn't matter anymore

 

[Sharky]

Sometimes, you just have to punch your way through.

Go through that pain barrier. The devil will use weaknesses to block us from getting further. Just punch your way through.

 

[desi]

You sound deeply conflicted, what do you need to sacrifice to go back to church?

 

[kimber1]

whit, you know i'm alwasy here for you girl. i haven't seen you around much lately but you've been in my thoughts. you know you can email anytime to let things out if that helps. you know you're very important to me adn i worry about you. keep fighting girl. God is on your side.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

"Punch your way through."
Sharky hit it pretty well.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Tsax, you do matter. Sometimes you just gotta make yourself do things that you know are right but you just don't want to do. I am sure if you find a church that you like, you won't have any problem going. But you got to take the first step. You won't find any sitting at home. You said your mom was saved. Maybe this is a project you two can work on together. Visit different churches in the area and see which ones you like. That way neither of you have to go by yourself. Just keep fighting your way through, Tsax. God never promised it would be easy, but he does promise he will never leave us or forsake us. He will be right by your side, helping you!

 

[* kittie *]

hey, i'm in the same position.

personally, i think you should pray about it, and ask God to give you that heart to go. church attendance shouldn't become a legalistic act, but something you want to do. if you force yourself to go...it can lead to the ups & downs you mentioned. sometimes, we can't change ourselves. if we could, it would be much easier. a lot of the time, God needs to work in us, and change our heart.
and i guess all this can be confusing to some...but unless you understand the feeling of...this confusion...it's tough. sometimes i try to work on the relationship by doing things, but it fails.