- Apr 17, 2005
- 7,277
- 672
- Country
- Korea, Republic Of
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Eastern Orthodox
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I met a lot of people who seem diametrically opposed to being parents and have given me some rants about why; either that, or they do not seem excited at the prospect.
Oddly, for a while I have looked forward to the idea of being a parent in the sense that I feel it is an almost necessary and fulfilling journey in a parent's life. Of course, there are the very practical considerations of not wanting to die alone, etc.
But I also feel that one can understand oneself better by having an intimate observation of childhood from an adult's perspective, and furthermore, by having a parent I will insure a sense of responsibility that can straighten me out a bit further. I do not want to be doing at age 40 exactly what I do at age 20, and I figure how unfulfilling it would be, even if I was successful in my other endeavors, to have no one to truly share it with.
I also do not believe romantic love can sustain a relationship endlessly and that children almost become a necessity to attach new and deeper meaning to a relationship.
Of course, I also have the arrogant view that I could afford children a unique upbringing. I have a lot of unique perspectives and good life experiences; I feel like I could encourage kids towards better paths.
When I have done some teaching of teenagers in English I have found that I can also have good, positive influences; I have several stories about this, and I felt like my position as an American can be beneficial.
I think I would want to raise children in a place like Korea, China, Poland, etc.
The societies, as far as I understand them, have the right ingredients to make amazing people: the dichotomy of poor and rich is strong, the amount of crime and social issues span the whole gamut, an influence of religion and/or atheism on the society that would be educational in and of itself. The generational differences in Korea, China and Poland would also be interesting as the memories of much different societies have not been erased.
I feel middle class America (and perhaps Canada and Europe) is the worst place to raise a kid right now -- insulated in suburbs gives them unrealistic images of poverty and crime, massive religious hypocrisy that has bred overly cynical views, hypersensitivity on race issues that makes it impossible for it even to be soberly discussed, so easy to spoil them and the current rate of substance abuse and casual sex amongst youth is a terrible influence.
I remember receiving very penetrating questions on the lifestyles of Americans from a whole range of Asians my own age -- Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean -- and sometimes it was treated with a naive envy at the sense of freedom, but most of the time there was a very real concern for the moral structure of a society... This moral concern was often expressed by religion-less people, oddly enough, and it has influenced me strongly to take more harsh criticism of over-indulgence amongst youth.
Leo Strauss spoke about the necessity of a moral view, whether religious or civic in nature, that has to be a guiding force. It seems the majority of atheists in Asia as well hold onto the idea that there has to be collective moral standards in order to insure a society which does not drift into a sense of meaninglessness and 'brutal or gentle nihilism.'
It is for those reasons I would ideally not raise children in the 'gentle nihilism' of Western society.
Oddly, for a while I have looked forward to the idea of being a parent in the sense that I feel it is an almost necessary and fulfilling journey in a parent's life. Of course, there are the very practical considerations of not wanting to die alone, etc.
But I also feel that one can understand oneself better by having an intimate observation of childhood from an adult's perspective, and furthermore, by having a parent I will insure a sense of responsibility that can straighten me out a bit further. I do not want to be doing at age 40 exactly what I do at age 20, and I figure how unfulfilling it would be, even if I was successful in my other endeavors, to have no one to truly share it with.
I also do not believe romantic love can sustain a relationship endlessly and that children almost become a necessity to attach new and deeper meaning to a relationship.
Of course, I also have the arrogant view that I could afford children a unique upbringing. I have a lot of unique perspectives and good life experiences; I feel like I could encourage kids towards better paths.
When I have done some teaching of teenagers in English I have found that I can also have good, positive influences; I have several stories about this, and I felt like my position as an American can be beneficial.
I think I would want to raise children in a place like Korea, China, Poland, etc.
The societies, as far as I understand them, have the right ingredients to make amazing people: the dichotomy of poor and rich is strong, the amount of crime and social issues span the whole gamut, an influence of religion and/or atheism on the society that would be educational in and of itself. The generational differences in Korea, China and Poland would also be interesting as the memories of much different societies have not been erased.
I feel middle class America (and perhaps Canada and Europe) is the worst place to raise a kid right now -- insulated in suburbs gives them unrealistic images of poverty and crime, massive religious hypocrisy that has bred overly cynical views, hypersensitivity on race issues that makes it impossible for it even to be soberly discussed, so easy to spoil them and the current rate of substance abuse and casual sex amongst youth is a terrible influence.
I remember receiving very penetrating questions on the lifestyles of Americans from a whole range of Asians my own age -- Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean -- and sometimes it was treated with a naive envy at the sense of freedom, but most of the time there was a very real concern for the moral structure of a society... This moral concern was often expressed by religion-less people, oddly enough, and it has influenced me strongly to take more harsh criticism of over-indulgence amongst youth.
Leo Strauss spoke about the necessity of a moral view, whether religious or civic in nature, that has to be a guiding force. It seems the majority of atheists in Asia as well hold onto the idea that there has to be collective moral standards in order to insure a society which does not drift into a sense of meaninglessness and 'brutal or gentle nihilism.'
It is for those reasons I would ideally not raise children in the 'gentle nihilism' of Western society.
And there would be a lot of people who disagree with this. Normally it seems to be the opposite. If a marriage is failing, some people think having children would somehow fix it. But I think it's just bringing a child into a potentially harmful situation.
