HipLove... I "kinda" know what you mean. I have a boyfriend now, so I've let my guard down... couldn't help it, he just slipped in at a weak moment.
Anyway, I still struggle with single v. committed v. heading toward marriage like... all the time. For awhile there my boyfriend was talking about getting married... in the abstract, but freaky, nonetheless. I totally got bashed in the Courting Couples area for not wanting to marry him.... insinuations that I was leading him on, that you shouldn't date someone you don't want to marry, etc... which wasn't the problem. The problem is, not sure I want to marry anyone... it's odd, and it's hard when you're going against the current.
My coping mechanism? Realizing that what others think has no effect on my relationship with my boyfriend, or with God, if I don't let it. I choose not to be married right now... I like to handle my finances alone, like to live alone, like to have my own time after work and volunteering and all of the other mess that I do... and I think I'd be a pathetic wife right now! Plus, it really does give me more time with God... not as much as if I dumped my boyfriend entirely...
As far as leading them on... well, if you tell them upfront that you're not looking for a relationship, and you act accordingly, I don't think that you are. If these men that you meet are doing a "no means yes" thing in their devious heads, that's their deal.
The answer cannot be to only hang around with heavily tattoed commitment phobes, can it? :0
Anyway, just some random thoughts... hope you don't have to avoid all Christian men from age 25-40...
Anyway, I still struggle with single v. committed v. heading toward marriage like... all the time. For awhile there my boyfriend was talking about getting married... in the abstract, but freaky, nonetheless. I totally got bashed in the Courting Couples area for not wanting to marry him.... insinuations that I was leading him on, that you shouldn't date someone you don't want to marry, etc... which wasn't the problem. The problem is, not sure I want to marry anyone... it's odd, and it's hard when you're going against the current.
My coping mechanism? Realizing that what others think has no effect on my relationship with my boyfriend, or with God, if I don't let it. I choose not to be married right now... I like to handle my finances alone, like to live alone, like to have my own time after work and volunteering and all of the other mess that I do... and I think I'd be a pathetic wife right now! Plus, it really does give me more time with God... not as much as if I dumped my boyfriend entirely...
As far as leading them on... well, if you tell them upfront that you're not looking for a relationship, and you act accordingly, I don't think that you are. If these men that you meet are doing a "no means yes" thing in their devious heads, that's their deal.
The answer cannot be to only hang around with heavily tattoed commitment phobes, can it? :0
Anyway, just some random thoughts... hope you don't have to avoid all Christian men from age 25-40...
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