This question will blow your socks off.....

[Quiet Storm]

Actually it won't. I just find it a little odd that I'm a 19 year old in college asking such a question. Evidently not too many people have this problem around these parts, so I was wondering if someone could help me. Basically, I have no social life and I was wondering............how do you all go about making friends? Like how do you meet new people and "embellish" so to speak on the acquantances that you already have? I truly have no idea.

 

[Deacon]

Be yourself, go out and introduce yourself to people. I am not the best friend maker either, even though I have been blessed with many friends, but you need to understand that most people are accepting of you. But again you have these cliques where you have be like them and dress like them which is totally bogus.

Go to church(if you don't already) thats where I made my best of friends.

Just some help

 

[chris0513]

I feel bad for Christians when they have to ask this question. You'd think that we as people who possess the greatest gift in the world would be the easiest people to talk to.

Sadly, because we are all so wounded, we tend to be downtrodden and introverted.

Friend, I would encourage you to find a church that focuses on healing and community.

Remember, we are wounded in relationship and we are healed in relationship. Bible study and prayer are just not enough (rattling cages yet!?) you must learn to experience God's grace through his people.

We are created to be connected.

 

[LifeInYou]

People like to be around others who are comfortable with themselves. Find yourself, embrace and love yourself, and then share yourself with the world. Both you and them are missing out if you don't...

 

[Buskanaka]

some people just aren't good at making friends, i know I'm one of them. I have no problems meeting new people and talking to new people, but it's building the friendship to become good friends that's the problem. I've decided though that some people you just click with and some you don't, nobody can be best friends with everybody. And "just be yourself" is such a cliche that its virtually meaningless, just HOW do you be yourself when you don't really know who "yourself" is and it's impossible to act the same with every person

 

[Deacon]

No its not impossible to act the same with every person. I act the same way with everyone I know...some people call it kindness and sweetness others call it arrogance. Its how that person sees you, sorry Buskanaka....I don't agree with what you said.

 

[Buskanaka]

fair enough, but i dont agree with what you said... i dont mean that i become a totally different person around different people, what makes me me stays the same, but some things change whether you want them to or not

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hmm...do you live on campus or commute. It's almost impossible if you commute.

 

[katelyn]

I had a very hard time making friends when I first started college. I have an introverted personality (and there's nothing wrong with being an introvert! I believe that's the way God made me ) and had grown up in a small town where it was impossible not to meet people, so going to a big state school was quite a shock. You could go there every day and sit in class, and not really meet anyone.

Are you going to church? Have you at least kind of met some people? You may be able to cultivate those relationships by joining a small group with some people. If there is no existing small group for people your age, you could start one! I know that's a big step, and scary one at times if you're an introvert like me, but you can make it a casual thing, and if people are interested you will most likely get some extroverts involved who can help with taking turns leading.

What are your hobbies? If you like to sing, join choir! If you like to read, ask someone to go to the bookstore with you! If you like to play sports, see if the church has any teams! Keep an eye out for retreats - they are often a great way to move acquaintances to friend status.

It can be hard because I know for me I actually had to "learn" how to make friends. I know that sounds weird, especially for a college age person, but it's true. But I did learn, and it has paid off since we just moved (far away) this summer and we're having to start all over again. But I learned from my college experience, and now I'm diving right in!!

 

[Quiet Storm]

Bible study and prayer are just not enough.

Amen to that. For a long time, I just thought that as long as I was in some kind of "official" (while genuine) fellowship with other people and constant fellowship with God, I was set. But loneliness begins to take its toll after awhile no matter how much you try to convince yourself that God's all the intimate fellowship that you need.

 

[RED that's ME]

QuiteStorm

I agree with what Katelyn said.
Get involved in extra activities.
Church
Does your church have fellowships to go and meet ppl
Go volunteer for community activities
take classes that interest you
hobbies see who else in you community shares the same interest
read up on current events so you can chat with anyone
start up conversations and then listen (even if you are shy)
most people love to talk (especially about themselves) and love it when someone else is listening and I find then they consider me a friend.
I like to send notes of encouragement to people.
Call some one and let them know you are thinking of them today and hope they had a good day and that you are praying for them.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Be willing to meet new people, share some things about your life with them, and ask them things about their life.

Walk up to someone, extend your arm, introduce yourself, and explain that you are trying to meet new people. wit gets quiet or akward, feel free to say you have to go, and you wish to talk with them again (but don't sound as lame as I do right now)

Have Fun

 

[Kittie]

Actually this isn't such a weird question, alot of times after high school you grow apart from the friends you've known for years, they move off or something and you have to build new connections and thats hard, you really don't know anyone too well. I know out of all my high school friends I still have my best friend that I've had since grade 10 but lost touch with others. The best way is like people are saying, join a group that does things your interested in, even just a club at school, most colleges have Christian clubs too, or a church if you haven't already, or some sports team or something. One great way to meet people is part time jobs, I've met some great friends through afternoon and weekend jobs.

 

[jjoel]

dude this works! go up to that pretty girl and be like "*ahem* uhhhh excuse me *clear throat again* what's your name oh really.... cool.... why was i wanting to know? uhhhhh ummmm just wondering" THEN RUN AWAY it works.. lol. now i'm trying to get this girl to go hang with me again sometimes soon.

 

[Dawn Marie]

I'm not good at making friends... in fact I don't want anymore. And I have like 4. I just want to keep the ones I have, forever...

So I can't give advice. Which means this post is pointless.

 

[viper5230]

I have to say that i suffer from the same lack of a social life. The best way that I have found to deal with this is to just be self confident. People seem to be drawn to people that are self confident. The hardest part is knowing when this self confidence switches over to iroence, I think that is how it's spelt.

 

[Kelloggs]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this! My first post... if thats what they're called... but in any even the ? you asked was actually a VERY great ? 1st let me just thank you for being honest in asking such a question! I think that being yourself is always the BEST approach! God is an AWESOME God and SO faithful to answer prayers! Pray to Him and ask Him for a friend. Someone who will be there to share in your walk with Christ. I think that sometimes we forget to ask for things we think may be silly... like a friend... but God is our Father and He LOVES when we come to Him for ANYTHING. So go for it. Ask God and have Him pick out the BEST friend EVER for ya!

 

[Kelloggs]

Yeah Id have to agree in being confident! But if your not its hard to be... and still pull off the "be yourself" thingy BUT the GREAT thing is that you have a God that LOVES you! and you are NEVER alone! What kind of stuff does your church offer??? I am a Young Adults Leader @ my Church and we have a TON of stuff going on! ACTUALLY small groups is the BEST way to get to know people! I am in a few small groups as well as leading one and I have so many friends I hardly know what to do with them... want one?

 

[Kelloggs]

sorry a little off topic... can anyone see my posts? and how can I add buddys to my buddy list?

 

[desi]

The best way to make friends is to immerse yourself in the world of people. By forcing yourself to interact with them in class, clubs, during meals, at the library you will learn more about how to act and make friends.