This is too much

[dorig59]

Hello out there. Anybody there? I don't know if some of you remember me from a few weeks ago, but my 17-year old daughter lost her fiancee, he died, suicide. I've been busy getting her on the right track, taking care of her, etc. Now I just got word that my son-in-law died last night, my older daughter's husband. THey have a 5-year old little boy. They had been separated for awhile, but were on good terms and had been talking a lot. So now I have another daughter who is in complete hysterics. Why is this happening? Why?

 

[UnitynLove]

You may not understand now why these things are happening, but I can guarrantee you that God is working it out for your Good. There are many things in life we don't understand but in those moments that is where we have to dig our heals in and say, Lord God I know you are a good God and you will work this out for my good. I will trust in you. If you want I have a series on grief on my site http://youtube.com/unitynlove. If you are angry at God I want you to listen to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPdEQgt22u0 fast forward it to 5:30

 

[dorig59]

Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Now if I can get my daughter's to listen....

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Praying for you and both of your daughters.

 

[dorig59]

Praying for you and both of your daughters.

Thank you so very much.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

I truly believe that sometime God allows things to happen to us not for our own benefit, but for others to shape or mold the outcome of someone else's life. It could be clergy, doctors, paramedics, police officers, counselors or someone else who was somehow touched by what happened to you and your family. Hang in there and trust God to lead you and your family through this.

When my mom passed away I had some 'other things' happen that were beyond me to cope with, so I turned it over to God. It was still hard to deal with, but I am making my way through it the best I can without adding sin to sin. Or as Romans puts it recompensing evil for evil. The point is if you give it over to God to handle for you, you will come out the other side better than if you take on the burden alone. He will lead you. He will deliver you from moments that there seems like there is no way to be delivered. And if you feel your self trying to take it back out of his hands, stop yourself and give it back to him.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Still praying for you guys, Dorig. How are things going?

And I would really recommend you get James Dobson's book When God Doesn't Make Sense. It helped me a lot after my son died. You can get it from www.amazon.com if you don't have a local source which would have it.

 

[dorig59]

Still praying for you guys, Dorig. How are things going?

And I would really recommend you get James Dobson's book When God Doesn't Make Sense. It helped me a lot after my son died. You can get it from www.amazon.com if you don't have a local source which would have it.

Thank you, I think I can get it at my library, I'll check there first.

How are we? Hmmm....I guess we're ok. My older daughter now is the one who's really upset. I didn't realize she still cared for her husband that much. She hasn't told their son yet because he hasn't seen his dad in a year, or maybe even two, nevertheless, they were close. That kid remembers everything.

The memorial service for him was last Saturday. I am going to give his mother the extra book you sent. So weird, when I got the two books, I kept hesitating about sending it over to the mother of Annie's boyfriend. And then when this happened with my son-in-law, I have a real peace about giving it to her. I guess the Lord was having me hold onto it for a reason.

My younger daughter Annie, we had a crisis with her about a week ago, she had seemed ok, and we thought things were better, but then we found her writing practice suicide notes. So there was a big deal over that, I ended up getting her to a counselor and on some antidepressants. Her brother (my youngest son) is here now, he had been at his dad's house, and she seemed to chipper up when he got here. They're good buddies.

Annie is going to be going back to high school after the Christmas break. The school she'll be going to is new to her and it's the largest h.s. she's ever been in. So I'm praying that she will meet some nice kids, preferably Christian kids if there are any, and go on with her life.

thanks guys for all the prayers and concern, it really helps a lot. And thanks again KayKay for the books, you're a gem.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Thank you, I think I can get it at my library, I'll check there first.

How are we? Hmmm....I guess we're ok. My older daughter now is the one who's really upset. I didn't realize she still cared for her husband that much. She hasn't told their son yet because he hasn't seen his dad in a year, or maybe even two, nevertheless, they were close. That kid remembers everything.

The memorial service for him was last Saturday. I am going to give his mother the extra book you sent. So weird, when I got the two books, I kept hesitating about sending it over to the mother of Annie's boyfriend. And then when this happened with my son-in-law, I have a real peace about giving it to her. I guess the Lord was having me hold onto it for a reason.

My younger daughter Annie, we had a crisis with her about a week ago, she had seemed ok, and we thought things were better, but then we found her writing practice suicide notes. So there was a big deal over that, I ended up getting her to a counselor and on some antidepressants. Her brother (my youngest son) is here now, he had been at his dad's house, and she seemed to chipper up when he got here. They're good buddies.

Annie is going to be going back to high school after the Christmas break. The school she'll be going to is new to her and it's the largest h.s. she's ever been in. So I'm praying that she will meet some nice kids, preferably Christian kids if there are any, and go on with her life.

thanks guys for all the prayers and concern, it really helps a lot. And thanks again KayKay for the books, you're a gem.

I am glad you got your daughter to a counselor and on some meds. That situation really is a lot to deal with for anyone, but especially a teen-ager.

It looked like Ariel offered you some good advice above too. Praying for your older daughter!

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Still praying for your daughter and your whole family.

 

[dorig59]

Still praying for your daughter and your whole family.

Thank you so much. She is still very depressed, and she has some decisions to make about what she wants to do, the direction her life should take, and she really doesn't know what she wants because she keeps waffling and changing her mind, back and forth, on and on, all over again. So I'm praying she makes the right decision and has peace about it.

Thank you.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

They say it isn't uncommon for new college students to change their majors part way through. Sometimes you have to be exposed to different things in order to figure out what you really want to do. So if part of her dilemma is college related, just getting her to start will help. If it is something else just encourage her to put one foot in front of the other. Tell her the rest will come in due time.

 

[sonrisa0917]

I am so sorry for your losses. I just recently lost my fiance too in a horrible accident. If either of your daughters or you need encouragement, I'd be happy to share it. I'm just starting the road to recovery & have a long way to go but just knowing you're not alone in your loss is a start.

Sincerely,
Kristen

 

[dorig59]

I am so sorry for your losses. I just recently lost my fiance too in a horrible accident. If either of your daughters or you need encouragement, I'd be happy to share it. I'm just starting the road to recovery & have a long way to go but just knowing you're not alone in your loss is a start.

Sincerely,
Kristen

Kristen, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss, as well. There are some really awesome people on here that are very encouraging, it's a good place to go.

My daughter's are 17 and 24, I'm not sure which one I'm worried the most about right now. The 17-year old is very, very vulnerable and feels she has no purpose in life, there is absolutely nothing that she wants to do, no motivation, only deep, deep sorrow.

My 24-year old lives in Beverly Hills and has this glamorous life, she has money and all kinds of material possessions, but this has actually hit her very hard, too, and I think it's made her step back and look at things. She's pretty depressed, too, which really surprised me. I love my daughter, but she tends to be self-centered. She's truly grieving, though.

How long ago did you lose your fiance?

Thank you again for writing me.

Dori