This is a difficult question running through my head...

[Ryokeen]

So I met this girl back in August 2005. I am 1 year 8 months and 4 days older than her. I met her at an away football game, after going to be with this girl from my hometown that I was LITTERALLY obsessed with. I was looking for her when my current girlfriend, caught my eye. I asked my friend who seemed to knwo me who that was and well it started there. We didn't really flirt. We found eachother very attractive (later I found out she thought my friend was more attractive, but she found out that I was a sweetheart). We talked and stuff until 1:00am the next morning. It was the end of summer just before school. I waited 24 hours after she dumped her last boyfriend (Who is now one of my GREATEST friends and it just worked out so well we now double date with him and his girlfriend. No hard feelings), and I asked her out in a song form. That song was the FIRST song I ever wrote and it made her nearly cry.

We "went out" for about two weeks when she went to clarify it with her parents and they decided, without knowing me, living 20mins away, age difference, last Sophomore was a jerk, to say no. I was hurt. We lived a lie of a relationship for a few weeks. Then she broke my heart. She asked this other guy out, without telling me.
I was ruined. I was a mess. I wrapped myself around her and then suddenly she was gone. it was horrible.

Out of confusion and sadness I met this other girl over the internet. Her cousin picked me up oneday and we went to, you guessed it, a football game. (I don't have much luck, well up until now, with those). I met her and she was very much to my liking, physically. I found out her dad was a huge part of a local church and it seemed right.

A few days later I found out that she wasn't a virgin, that she enjoyed sex, drugs, and didn't want to be tied down. She dumped me after telling me all this. Yeah Iw as so confused and now I felt like an idiot.

Chelsii, the girl I met at the football game the first time, had justa few days ago called and asked for me abck. Thinking I had it better with the girl before I foudn out about the sex and such, I said no. so I was really hurt.

I took a step back and thought. I needed to stop obsessing over girls, and start getting back on track with God. I waiting for a while, and on November 6th 2005, I asked my (now girlfriend) to be with me agian, and appologized for being stupid. A rebound with consiquences. 11 days later I called it off becuase I never gave myself time to think, time to regather myself.

Out of no where after a few hours, I had this undenyable urge to get back with her. it came from my heart and for the first time, I cried. I cried soo much, and I hardly even knew this girl too well. I called her up explained everything and she accepted my ONCE again (3 times now). Since then I've gone through a lot. I've gotten closer to God once again and we've gotten to knwo eachother VERY VERY well. I've met her family and they give me hugs and invite me voer for meals and such. We're soo very close that I'm a tad worried.

Here's where the question comes in.
Chelsii and I are very serious and have built an amazing relationship; however, we're both young. We took time one day to not say anything the encouraged love towards one-a-nother and just praed. We seriously asked God and thought all day. The good, the bad, everything. We spent the day with God, asking for wisdom and his thoughts. We both had a deffinate answer from God at the end of our fast/prayer with God time. Yes, God wants us togethhr is what we both had deffinately decided.

So for many months now we've let ourselves get really close. We've developed a complete understanding of one-a-nother. We've overcome normal teen temptation and even play around with eachother now by sticking our tounges out and taunting eachother. It's fun!
Wev gave up ALL but Simple kissing and embraces and cuddling. We flirt all the time! We do devotionals together. We're working on praying together. We limit ourselves to usualy 1-2 day tops of seeing eachother. It strengthens out love for eachother. Last week over spring break we spent almost everyday with eachother just to see if we would get sick of eachother and we didn't at all. Not one little argument sparked.

This all seems soo perfect, like a real, lasting thing.
We both want it to, so terribly bad...
Which makes this question hard to ask...

We're 16 and 14.... things happen. I know that if she left me RIGHT now I'd be a mess, but okay knowing God had somethign better planned. But I'm not so sure I could figure out how to live without her all that fast.
Anyways,
my question is...

Do you think I should call it off and go back to just friends?
I truely and honestly don't feel we should and have prayed about it and still feel the same way, but I'd like your two cents.

Thanks...
-Aaron

 

[Leanna]

I mean this in the nicest way.... but you are too girl obsessive for your age. Not to say it isn't "normal" but you can choose to wait, and I believe it would be better for your heart and mind if you focused on your education, friends, and just being a teenager. If you and Chelsea are meant to be, then in 4 years you'll get back together. In the meantime you guys both have an opportunity to grow as individuals.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Hey.

You wanted some serious answers, so you are getting them.

I too would have to agree that 14 and 16 are way to young. It will most likely only end in heartbreak. The first time I dated was when I was 18 and that was fine with me!!! I think it is best to wait a few more years.

I know dating is all the craze these days, but there are more things for you to do. Develop your relationship with God. Make friends.

At your age one should be having friends, not romantic interests. You already show an unhealthy pattern of being obbessesed by girls looks and by wanting to date them due to that reason. That is not a good reason whatsoever. The inside is what counts in the long run.

My advice for you is to just be friends with this girl and with any other that may come along in the next few years.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I'm curious as to why you're asking if you should go back to being friends?

I have learned that it's easy to imagine that something wonderful can seem like God's will. I do think that you two should not be trying to get serious so early. You both need time to develop your individual personalities and time to do your homework!

Don't break her heart, but don't take up all of her time. Make sure you both are spending time with your respective friends and time with Christian youth groups.

 

[awesome liver]

i stopped reading mid-way down because it started getting really confusing but YOU'RE 16. you wouldn't be normal if you didn't go through any sort of soap opera. keep up whatever you're doing and in due time, things just fall into place and the world starts making sense without the drama. it's kinda neat how life works itself out. besides, you still have college to look forward to.

you make your best friends in college.

 

[YouthPastor]

I did not read all of the responses.... but let me add me two cents worth.

Both are too young to date.

First - dating IS a precursor to marriage - or it should be. Let me say this - as christians - we are supposed to be different - yet we date and all this junk just like the world. we look for our spouse the same way the world does - does this make sense?

If dating is just for fun WHY? look - each person you get romatically involved with (emotionally attached to) - you are giving away part of your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says to guard your heart because it afffects your whole life (or everything you do).

It is estimated that a person dates 7 - 10 people before they marry. that is 7-10 breakups. that is 7-10 people that you have given your heart to.

think of a rose. take a rose, pull a couple pedals off - have your way with the rose - pass it on to a friend - let them do the same.... what do you think that rose will look like after it has been "handled" by 7-10 people.

Dating should not be just so you can "date" - there needs to be a purpose and that purpose, especially as Christians, should be to find our spouse.

FRiends - yes. but at this age there is no real, no heavenly purpose for one on one emotionally attached relationship.

The bible even says thtat the single person can truely serve God with undivided attention - because they do not have to worry about a spouse, kids etc...

THIS IS THE ONLY TIME OF YOUR LIFE that you can truely do that. Pauls says a maried mad (this applies as well as to those who are dating - don't think so - how much time is taken up with thinking about the other person etc..) but this is the time of your life that you can truely devote your attention to God.

Be friends - get to know each other - AS FRIENDS - the best place to find your spouse is within your "network" of friends -

but frankly, you are too young - I would give this same advise if you were noth 16 or both 17 and probably even if both were 18.

 

[Inperfected]

Heres what my view is, and no i won't make you read TOOOO much more.

Go back and remember what blue impluse said... Then read it a few times. I think she's given some really good advice, and exactly the sort of stuff I'd have written

 

[invisiblebabe]

She is 14... still a baby. You probably shouldn't be dating either, at 16. I speak from experience.

 

[Arclight610]

Maturity doesn't come from age, it comes from the mind. I have seen 30 and 40 year olds act like fools, yet have seen mere teenagers be one of the most responsible people I have ever seen. Ask yourself this: Are you both mentally mature enough to have and sustain a serious relationship and all of the obligations entailed to it? Will the relationship strengthen or weaken your relationship with God?

 

[Inperfected]

Consider this: Can you handle a relationship with little in the way of sexual contact, and about the same in the emotional department (as to protect her heart), as well as trying to deal with yourselves as you grow up for the next 4 years?

If you can honestly anser yes, keep on goin

 

[Eternal Mindset]

The word of the LORD came to me: 16 "Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. 17 Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover the lower part of your face or eat the customary food of mourners ." 18 So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded.

Take those verses in to deep consideration when considering the importance of a girl in your life.

Why God would kill one of His most faithful servant's wife?
Because it was part of His plan.
Why did God tell Ezekiel not to be upset?
Because it was part of His plan.
What is my point?
Think about you the importance you have given to her in your life...
She shouldn't be the thing that holds you together...she should just help.

I'm just trying to help you, because I know your situation exactly, and God showed me those verses, and it rocked my perception of what our relationship was meant to be.