This hurts too much

[angelreyne]

Hey, I need some advice, I'd love God to give me the answers I'm looking for but some stuff he just doesn't seem to answer. My boyfriend was away on his course for two weeks, but got called to his families side in a time of need. The whole time he was away he rang me to talk, telling me he missed me, and loved me. A couple of times I asked him to ring me just wanting to hear his voice, maybe being a bit needy? Anyway he came back and was a different guy. It took a couple of days for me to figure out something wasn't right, and when I spoke to him he told me he was having doubts about us. We tried talking about what was happening, and even he said he hoped it was just a phase and he'd get through it. A couple of days later I told him I loved him and for the first time he could't say it back. This was a guy who couldn't tell me enough how much he loved me and how precious I was to him, and that he wanted to marry me someday. Iv'e never felt loved the way he loved me. I had to end it there, it hurt so much that he 'd done a complete turn around and it was such a shock. Now this guy lives on campus at our bible college and so do I. We see each other every day, so he can't be 'out of my life'. When we see each other we can still talk for hours and he says he loves talking to me. Then the other night he said that he still loved me. I said I knew he did but didn't know wether I could believe it or not. He seems confused to me, and I don't know what to do. I love him so much but I don't want to be hurt again. Ive never felt so broken from a relationship. I thought God had put him in my life just like I asked, and that we were meant to be together, Now I don't know what to think.Does God have someone for us, or am I meant to pick him and ask God to bless us?If I let him in again, he might hurt me, if he stays in my life like this, I might end up watching him fall for someone else,and that will hurt too much. By doing nothing,and just waiting to see what God wants for me,I'm driving myself nuts worrying about what I should or shouldn't be doing. Could someone pray for me and ask God what he thinks? I know God knows exactly what plans he has for me, but I'm really hurting and confused in the meantime. Thanks

 

[peanutbutter12]

God doesn't have a specific someone for us. There are no "soul mates"; no one person specifically made for us. However, God can direct two people to meet each other, that I do believe. From there, it's all on us to decide what happens and where we go in relationships, both friendships and intimate relationships.

You're in a place where you shouldn't let your emotions decide what is in your best interest. You need to think hard about what you want and need in your life when it comes to a relationship with another person without feelings getting in the way of that decision. Otherwise you will end up continuously upsetting yourself over this situation if it doesn't work out with a fairytale ending rather than picking up the pieces and moving forward with your life. Use your head over heart in this matter and may your decisions result with wisdom.

CJ

 

[PassionateOne]

Here's 's for you!

I have some questions:

How long were you and BF together before he said he had doubts and couldn't tell you he loved you?


Did you break up then? And if so, how long were you broken up before he told you he still loves you?

 

[angelreyne]

We knew each other for about 4 months before we got together, in which time he reckons he was just watching to see if I was a match for him and he found himself falling for me from the beginning. we were going out for 5 months before he couldn't say it to me anymore.I broke up with him at that same time having been in relationships before that I let carry on even after the love had 'faded'.I wanted it to be different this time. However his cousin was staying with me at the time, because he had some issues.so he still kept coming over as needed by his cousin.But I had to ask him to ring or text before he came over, because I felt like he was watching me go through my heartbreak like a fly on the wall.So for 2 weeks it was just awful,and messy for all of us.I need to mention too, that the help he was asked of when he went away completely drained him and had a big effect on his spiritual life too. I dont know if this had a part in it. All of this however made me cling to Jesus even more, and I was able to start helping him with his spiritual walk,helping to get him back to 'spiritual health'.The next week, I started noticing more of the old him coming back, and one night he came in and saw me praying and asked to join me.We prayed, and as he got up to leave, he said I still really love you. I said I know, but I don't know if I can believe you or not. He said its ok you don't have to, knowing it would be hard to believe that after everything we'd just gone through. He has since started looking at me with that look of love again, and does little things to show me he still cares. I'd love to fall for him again, but I didn't guard my heart thre first time and was really hurt. Its happened to me so many times by other guys, I'd prayed to Jesus for the next one to be different, and to love me enough to marry me.I just don't want to let it happen again, but this guy is really special to me so I'm so confused. I know its early days but we both wanted our next partners to be the one,so marriage was kind of on our list right from the beginning.I'd really like prayer for some clarity, and guidance because its so confusing for me in my own head right now. Im trying to use my head instead of my emotions, but My head can't make a decision because he was so close to what I wanted in a husband until he came back and said all that stuff. It felt black and white, and then suddenly everything went grey if that makes sense?

 

[JolieHeart]

Praying for you and for guidance through this difficult time