This afternoon brought extreme uncertainty and alarm.

[picassoui]

First i need to preface what i am about to say by making a distinction between this and what i have talked about before .If you don't see this then you will miss the point and it will seem that i am just being repetitive and im not ..

This afternoon i was in bed i am a late riser and i suddenly though two identical blasphemous thoughts .. They did not pop up it was like (and this is my fear) i thought them myself intentionally. I cannot say it was OCD for sure i just can't know that for sure .. Was it premeditated? I dont think so..But it just sort of happened .. I don't know if it is a product of the compulsion to counter because i suffer from a true compulsion to counter bad thoughts and i find that if i dont do it out loud i start doing it in my head without thinking ..
My fear is that i just thought it suddenly without thinking about what i was thinking and now i am condemned has anyone experieenced this ? That is with the distinction that it may have been something YOU thought yourself but perhaps you did it suddenly without even thinking about what you were saying ...?

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

You know, there is a rule I adopted with my OCD and this is especially helpful when I'm trying to determine that totally futile argument of "is it me/a legitimate thought, or is it my OCD?"

If it's related to my obsession, it's OCD.

I get lots of thoughts that feel like my own. Lots of feelings that feel like my own. But they are always related to my obsessions.

When OCD throws us a twist like this I think it's important not to get caught up in the "did I mean it?" or "did I really think it purposefully?" or "was that a legitimate blasphemous thought or was it OCD?" It is totally pointless to try and figure out that puzzle because OCD always throws in an element of doubt. No matter how sure you might be that it's really OCD, because it's OCD, it will make you doubt yourself.

By the way, it's really normal for OCD sufferers, upon rising from bed, to check to see if their OCD is still bothering them. I know I do that all the time!

 

[babegirl111]

I have dealt wth this too. It's OCD! Praying for you!

 

[RascoeBB]

Hey Picassoui. I've thought of every blasphemous thought possible. Even when I try to sing a worship song, in my head it seems like I am waiting for the right time to think something blasphemous. Sometimes I would even change the words around a song in my head to make it degrading. You know what I do, I just keep going. I try not to think about it no more. I already know it's going to happen again, so I just push on. It takes a while to get use to, and there are days where I feel low, but it is OCD. I learn to trust God and His word, and not my own thoughts or feelings. I'm pretty sure if He says I am forgiven, and I feel I am not, I will go out on a limb and say that I am wrong and Hes right. God Bless!!!

 

[gracealone]

Right on Rascoe! That's exactly how to react to those intrusive spikes. You really get it. It's not by any means an easy thing to do and it's takes time and practice and a willingness to accept that we all, "fall of the wagon" from time to time and begin the obsessional cycle.
Clearly you've come to understand the enemy quite well. Great Job and great post!
God Bless,
Mitzi

Hey Picassoui. I've thought of every blasphemous thought possible. Even when I try to sing a worship song, in my head it seems like I am waiting for the right time to think something blasphemous. Sometimes I would even change the words around a song in my head to make it degrading. You know what I do, I just keep going. I try not to think about it no more. I already know it's going to happen again, so I just push on. It takes a while to get use to, and there are days where I feel low, but it is OCD. I learn to trust God and His word, and not my own thoughts or feelings. I'm pretty sure if He says I am forgiven, and I feel I am not, I will go out on a limb and say that I am wrong and Hes right. God Bless!!!

 

[gracealone]

Hi Pic,
This is a pretty typical tactic of OCD - to get us to question whether or not a specific thought,episode, doubt, fear is really us or our OCD. It always seems and feels as if an episode like this is somehow different enough from all our other episodes of OCD to be worthy of our attention and yet they all point right back to the original doubt/question. They just take a different route to get there.
One thing that has helped me in this scenario is what Dr. Philipson said. He said that if the doubt/question is accompanied by extreme anxiety and an urge to get reassurance about it then you are safe to go ahead and lable it OCD.
Hope this helps a little and I hope you are doing better today.
Prayers,
Mitzi

First i need to preface what i am about to say by making a distinction between this and what i have talked about before .If you don't see this then you will miss the point and it will seem that i am just being repetitive and im not ..

This afternoon i was in bed i am a late riser and i suddenly though two identical blasphemous thoughts .. They did not pop up it was like (and this is my fear) i thought them myself intentionally. I cannot say it was OCD for sure i just can't know that for sure .. Was it premeditated? I dont think so..But it just sort of happened .. I don't know if it is a product of the compulsion to counter because i suffer from a true compulsion to counter bad thoughts and i find that if i dont do it out loud i start doing it in my head without thinking ..
My fear is that i just thought it suddenly without thinking about what i was thinking and now i am condemned has anyone experieenced this ? That is with the distinction that it may have been something YOU thought yourself but perhaps you did it suddenly without even thinking about what you were saying ...?

 

[picassoui]

mitzi thanks it does and it is something i will keep in mind