thinking about getting pregnant

[ciaradawn]

Hi everyone! DH and I are thinking about getting pregnant for the first time. I know that you can never really prepare for a child, but I just wanted some imput. Maybe what you wished you knew or what you wished you'd done. DH and I want to save up some money beforehand. We don't want to rush anything, we want to be ready. But I know that the timing is never completely perfect. We're thinking about taking a year and then getting pregnant.

Here's some background on us... we're mid 20's, we've been married a year (but dated for 4 before we got married so we've been together for awhile). He's military. ... ok that doesn't seem like much background but I don't know what else to say.

Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!

 

[JayCeeGirl]

Well, if he's military, I say have your babies while he is still in! That way you don't have to pay a dime.

Other than that, I really don't know. maybe save up now so when the time comes you can buy everything without stressing financially. Baby stuff is expensive.

 

[ciaradawn]

yeah I know baby stuff is expensive! Yikes! Does anyone have a suggestion as to how much is a good amount to have saved before you get pregnant?

 

[Leanna]

Learn about a woman's cycle and charting through a book such as Taking Charge Of Your Fertility.

Read Dave Ramsey-- get out of debt if you have any.

 

[Birbitt]

How much to save really depends on your shopping style...my advice go onto websites that sell baby stuff that you would actually think about buying for your little one...then add up all the prices (use regular price not sale price) and add an extra cushion ammount and that's what you should save.

I was able to buy everything I needed for our first baby with about 700.00 (including decorating the nursery, and all baby equipment and clothing for the first 6 months)

My second baby cost even less because I had lots of leftovers....but now this third baby will probably come in around the 700.00 estimate because I have nothing left from my first two since they are now 4 and 5

 

[llghoney]

Read books on babies & pregnancy (Dr. Sears asre good). Try not to focus SO much on hte pregnancy. Also, you will get NO sleep so be prepared! One more thing don't let people think you are a bad mother because you don't follow the books.

 

[ciaradawn]

Learn about a woman's cycle and charting through a book such as Taking Charge Of Your Fertility.

Read Dave Ramsey-- get out of debt if you have any.

DH & I signed up for one of Dave's finance classes at a local church! I'm excited. I've been listening to his cds! He's awesome.

Thanks for the book suggestion.

Try not to focus SO much on hte pregnancy.

What do you mean?

 

[PegasusOnFire]

because pregnancy is a small portion of your baby's life, try and enjoy it.

As for saving for baby, think about if your are going to formula feed vs breast feed, cloth diaper vs disposible diaper, wearing your baby vs stroller, co-sleeping vs crib, etc. These will all factor into how much you need to save.

 

[ciaradawn]

because pregnancy is a small portion of your baby's life, try and enjoy it.

As for saving for baby, think about if your are going to formula feed vs breast feed, cloth diaper vs disposible diaper, wearing your baby vs stroller, co-sleeping vs crib, etc. These will all factor into how much you need to save.

oh ok I see what you mean. of course. dh and I are excited about the whole prospect

These are good things to think about
Thanks for all the responses. Good stuff to know

 

[llghoney]

What do you mean?

I focused so much on my pregnancy & really wasn't told or prepared for the baby. No one really tells you like it is.

 

[JayCeeGirl]

HaHa! Yeah, I remember reading that newborns sleep for 20 hours a day, but no one told me that doesn't last very long. I do wish I would have read a little more about appropriate scheduling for their age. Once I got Audrey on a schedule things became so much more easier.

 

[seamonster]

Base may offer some free parenting and finance classes. I would ask around and see what you can find out. My DH is also military (AF) and the bases here offer several free classes on parenting, parenting and finances after baby, and finance in general.

Since your DH is military, you're in a great position to have kids since you have job security and your medical expenses will be covered.

I agree that saving really depends on you and your current finances. I would try to have a small amount of savings and as minimal debt as possible. DH and I just paid off our car, and now we are focusing on really building a safety "nest egg" of several thousand dollars. We're basically just trying to save as much as possible from each paycheck.

If you guys live on base you can also consider if renting off base would save you money if you can find something below your BAH level. We currently save about $500 living off base right now.

Your child's first year of life can be done really inexpensively or really expensively, depending on what stuff you "need." We spent less than $1,000 my son's first year of life - and most of that was on diapers and wipes. If your husband is E-5 or below, once you get pregnant, you will probably qualify for WIC (WIC doesn't take BAH into account, so it'll just be going off your DH's base pay). People will probably buy you a lot of gifts like baby clothes and blankets, and you'll find that what babies "need" the first year is really minimal. Babies don't "need" a walker or a ton of toys, especially before they're walking and are happy just hanging out in a sling or crawling around the house. What you buy also depends on where you live and what your climate is like.

Being a parent is really rewarding and fun. I think it's great you and DH are thinking about the future. As long as you two are on the same page about being ready, you guys should be good to go. And you can always set some financial goals now. "We want to have X amount saved and X amount of debt paid off before the baby is born," or whatever

 

[Hadassah]

To be honest with you, the only things I "had to have" at first were my stash of cloth diapers, a good set of clothes through the first 6 months and coats for winter, and I am really set. My mom and sister shop sales for the remaining months, and my MIL has done the same. We watch sales for things we need.

In the beginning I was given some bad advise as far as getting our son set for gaining weight back, and we were doing formula for a while. Which means we had the added expenses of needing to urgently get bottles and cleaning supplies for those a thermos and a sterilising machine.


The biggest things that have helped me was my Fisher price rocking chair, and my fisher price "gym". I prefer to resell that and get wood for my future kids. It has been invaluable (and only cost 20€or so) and he still plays with it.

I needed a playpen and I wanted a crib, at first to sleep in, but actually it helps to have as a second playpen. Both are wood. One was bought for us as a gift from my granny and the other from my inlaws. We co-sleep so the blankets and all we got for the crib are really only for 'if' he sleeps in it, and to keep down dust. I will have to replace the mattress come summer since he's drooled all over it - but I got it at Ikea so it's not a huge investment. I think for the crib, mattress and sheets we were not out more than 60€. Honestly.

I purchased 3 ring slings and gifted one to a friend, and have purchased 2 mei-tais. One is at my mom's and I have one here. I was gifted a Baby Björn but haven't really liked it and will resell it. I did get a wrap, but it is too hot and big for me, so I need to also resell it. If you have a babywearing learning library - make use of it! It's free and you will learn so very much without having to make the investment before!!

Watch sales, coupon if you can, and be frugal with what you have. Curb excesses and decide what fits in the monthly budget.

My DH and I are not so great on that at the moment, but we are getting better at controlling our budget.

Before the baby was here we got a little through each month's budget allowances. Between that and what we were gifted - we did great!

That's about all I can think of at present.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

How exciting Ciaradawn! Having kids is amazing and wonderful! You've been given some great advice here so far! I have nothing to add financially - except that remember your baby will only be a 'baby' for a little while, so many of the 'have to's' are really not that important (like painting/decorating) if you can't afford it. No need to go into debt for matching furniture IMO! Many things we got were either gifts (family gets very excited!) or seconds.

Just to second Leanna's advice on reading up on fertility, starting to keep an eye on your body, making sure you're healthy, keeping up vitamins and folic acid supplements. Maybe book a GP appointment to see what else you can do to maximise your fertility for when you both are ready!

Hope it all goes well for you!