Thinkers Anonymous
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone"to relax," I told myselfbut I knew it wasnt true. I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment dont mix, but I couldnt stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things werent going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mothers.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you dont stop thinking on the job, youll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "Ive been thinking " "I know youve been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But, honey, surely its not that serious!" "It IS serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as a college professor, and college professors dont make any money, so if you keep on thinking we wont have any money!"
"Thats a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. Id had enough. "Im going to the library!" I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors .but they didnt open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, simpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. It is responsible for what I am todaya recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porkys." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
Lynne
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone"to relax," I told myselfbut I knew it wasnt true. I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment dont mix, but I couldnt stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things werent going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mothers.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you dont stop thinking on the job, youll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "Ive been thinking " "I know youve been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But, honey, surely its not that serious!" "It IS serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as a college professor, and college professors dont make any money, so if you keep on thinking we wont have any money!"
"Thats a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. Id had enough. "Im going to the library!" I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors .but they didnt open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, simpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. It is responsible for what I am todaya recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porkys." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
Lynne
