Think I'll sit down here for a bit... (8)

[porterross]

Thanks, Kae. Sorry that happened to you. I just don't understand how people can think such behavior is acceptable or will be tolerated.

Not only am I going to file a practices and ethics complaint, but I will encourage my seller to file an even more meaningful one with the licensing commission after we close (if we close) for his threatening her with loss of the deal for my requesting that he get us a complete and properly executed sales contract, which I finally received 5 days after negotiation. Even then, his broker had to finish signing the most critical legal document as far as the Fed. is concerned, because he simply doesn't know what's he doing and refuses to be assisted without getting defensive and hiding his lack of knowledge and competence by becoming threatening. At this point, I refuse to converse with him until he apologizes and have let our respective managing brokers know. That won't keep me from filing a grievance. That must be done in an attempt to break the cycle.

 

[WildStrawberry]

Good for you, Porter. I'm here if you need to talk it out!

Kae

 

[Flipper]

I've been obviously in-my-face bullied twice. Once by a male (sexually) and the other by a female (threatened to hit me) - two different jobs at two different points in my experience and maturity. Thankfully, even though I was scared to death, I immediately reported it to my superiors both times, they believed me, and those people were fired.

I can handle the obvious stuff pretty well. It's the subtle stuff I'm not so good at, and I usually take more than I should, though I'm getting better at standing up for myself.

Good job, Porter, for doing what's right, and not letting him get the best of you.

 

[seajoy]

About twenty years ago, a man at my work, made a pass at me in a very lewd way. I told my manager, and she said I should be grateful that a man found me to be nice looking, and I should look at it as a compliment. I was married, and my manager knew that. But what that guy said to me, would have been wrong, married or not.

Hopefully, things have changed in 20yrs. I was young and dumb, and didn't really know about writing a complaint.

 

[seajoy]

It's really cold here in WI....and I don't like it. Just venting a little.

 

[QuiltAngel]

Cold and windy here.

Tell me why we chose to live here? Oh yeah, God sent my husband a call to serve here and he answered that call. The people here are wonderful and everything, don't get me wrong.

You would think after living my whole life in places that have long winters that I would be use to it, but it seems the older I get, the less winter of cold and snow I want.

 

[filosofer]

Yeah, I grew up in northern MN, and it seemed like "this is normal." But now having lived in Pensacola, FL, Denver, CO, San Diego, Monterey, the Philippines, Virginia Beach, etc. (27 moves over the past 38 years) I cannot tolerate the cold nearly as well.

I think I could retire in New Zealand or Australia. I can give you my address to send me my retirement travel fund!

 

[QuiltAngel]

Actually, we decided to send our economic stimulus check to a missionary in Indonesia! You also have to remember that my hubby is also a Pastor so we need the retirement travel fund.

 

[porterross]

New Zealand is one of the places we're considering for retirement as well. Check out Belize, filo. It's closer to the US and really a bargain. There are plenty of English speakers moving there.

 

[Jim47]

Well, I'm the next person in line that he's attempted victimize and if I don't put my complaint in writing, the pattern will not be of record, leaving the next person to have to go out on that limb.
It wasn't sexual (that I would have put a stop to with my foot and then filed a police report ) but an attempt to intimidate me by threatening to interfere with the completion of a transaction, which in essence, would hurt both our clients. It's a matter of ethics and fiduciary duty and the other women he's done it to didn't follow through with a formal complaint. If they had, he would be out on his ear.
You can imagine that others are encouraging me to make the complaint formal. Of course, I'm thinking it's just a matter of time before he does this to a woman with a large and very protective husband.

Thanks, Kae. Sorry that happened to you. I just don't understand how people can think such behavior is acceptable or will be tolerated.

Not only am I going to file a practices and ethics complaint, but I will encourage my seller to file an even more meaningful one with the licensing commission after we close (if we close) for his threatening her with loss of the deal for my requesting that he get us a complete and properly executed sales contract, which I finally received 5 days after negotiation. Even then, his broker had to finish signing the most critical legal document as far as the Fed. is concerned, because he simply doesn't know what's he doing and refuses to be assisted without getting defensive and hiding his lack of knowledge and competence by becoming threatening. At this point, I refuse to converse with him until he apologizes and have let our respective managing brokers know. That won't keep me from filing a grievance. That must be done in an attempt to break the cycle.

This is really sad, whether it be a man or a woman. Its uncalled for.

I've never been one to be considered to be a ladie's man, but I learned about 25 years ago when my body would no longer do manuel work and had to start using my mouth to make my living that women controll more money in this world then do men. This was a little hard for me to believe at first as I was rasied in a house where the man was king in control. But then I witnessed women coming into my auto service dept for help. Those who were confident in their skills to take care of themselves were the most fun to deal with, but I never had a problem with any type except in one occasion when a woman was scheming to get some free work.

I found women to be better decision makers then many men, and if you treated them with respect that they deserved they were not only faithful customers that would come back to you, but they also became your friends. That job was a pleasure for me, because everyday I was helping people who depended on me to treat them honestly and with respect. I guess looking back I had a job that was in many ways similar to a Pastor, that is in dealing with people.

We had a guy who thought he was a real stud at my present employer who made some sexist remarks to a married woman a few years ago. The same guy had also made some very un-appropiate remarks to me. The sad thing was I considered him to be a friend at the time. He was fired for his remarks to the lady, but his boss tried very hard to keep him, even though he was a nothing more then a guy seeking his own glory. He then lucked out into getting another very good supervisor's job, and was fired there for doing the same thing I guess he wasn't as smart as he thought he was. As dumb as I am I can still learn from my own mistakes

I've always thought people like this to be very imature and insecure, always trying to exalt themselves while treating others like dirt. The real problem is that people never have to really pay for what they've done wrong. We live in a society where the people who commit crimes are given more protection then those who have been wronged. I also think it will grow worse, much worse.

Thats why we need to keep looking up

 

[porterross]

That doesn't surprise me, Jim. Smart men know that content women make life much easier.

The guy who thought he could intimidate me and set the tone of the negotiation has definitely changed his tone since he's been dealt with by one or two men who caught wind of what he did and one indicated that he treats his wife in a similar manner, but I am conversing with him only via e-mail and copying all brokers. He continues to demonstrate his incompetence, which I want made apparent and no matter how much he pretends to play nice through the deal, I know if I don't put my complaint in writing, I will have allowed him to get away with it. If I do that, I've done a disservice to every woman might ever have to deal with him.

I hope the fact that his name is on an ethics complaint and sent to Austin for a number of people at the state assoc. to see will be humiliating enough to get his attention. Unfortunately, for some people, that's what it takes and I will sleep better knowing I've gotten the better of a bully without lowering my standards of behavior. I've prayed about it and am very much at peace with the decision.

I think it's safe to say that his attempts to take control of this deal by intimidation has backfired on him in ways he never dreamed. Could it really be that's he gotten away with this nonsense for this long?

 

[Jim47]

Perhaps he will finally figure out that he needs to change his ways? Or maybe he is dumb enough to try again? Be sure to let us know what happens, I can't stand the suspence

 

[porterross]

Someone made the comment that his biggest mistake was messing with the wrong woman to begin with. I'll be gone by the time he gets called on the carpet for it, which makes the cheeky stinker in me snort pretty loudly.

 

[Flipper]

Ha!

 

[Studeclunker]

Hey Porter, send us some pics of the new digs when you get across the pond. All the best with your move.

By the by, good going with that jerk. It's never a good thing to appease or work with a bully. They must always be dealt with firmly. Usually by firmly ramming a two-by-four right up... Ahem! Sorry about that. Well... may... be not.

 

[ctay]

Good morning

 

[RadMan]

New Zealand is one of the places we're considering for retirement as well. Check out Belize, filo. It's closer to the US and really a bargain. There are plenty of English speakers moving there.

Interesting. Those are the two locations I had nailed down as possible retirement locations. Now that I'm at the retirement age I have just resigned myself to living by the gkids and traveling to these locations. Haven't been to either of them yet.

 

[Studeclunker]

Someday, I'd really like to go on holiday to Brittan and New Zealand. The Lord Of The Rings movies were a great travelogue for the place.

 

[DaRev]

Someday, I'd really like to go on holiday to Brittan and New Zealand.

As would I, if only to look up all the distant relatives I have in those places.

 

[joyfulthanks]

.