A while ago I was born, brought into creation. That was 19 years 16 days ago from August the 25th. There has been a few things to stick out over the years and years of problems that came with those 19 years. Namely, Bi-Polar Disorder sticks out. Honestly, I could care less about wether or not it's related to what I have to talk about. I simply want to state something thats bugging the living crud out of me and for you guys to read it in the place I was told to go - Creative Writings.
Ever have it where you are on your way somewhere, driving, and you turn down a street you didn't mean to go down. It's shorter to turn around and turn back on the street you were on, so you do so. Just a simple error, right? I mean you just went down the wrong street because you weren't thinking.......
What if this happened to you daily, actually, hourly even. What if you made decisions about what to say to someone as the very thought came by in a conversation while your over at their house, blankly talking with no purpose in it all... heck, what if you didn't know why you went to their house - you just did cuz your mind suggested it to you.
What if you called a girl, who you dont care about, and asked her to a movie simply because you thought "I can, so why not?"
What if you experianced this loss of purpose, a wandering soul walking the face of the earth...
School came up. Did I act on the government money to support my tuision (spelling, balance due for college)? Did I tour the campus? Did I even look at the parking lot? Nope. Why? Cuz. cuz..... cuz my mind said it didn't want to, so I listened without question.
I currently have about 5-7 usernames on this site - i got banned alot of times for stupid reasons. The fault of the moderators? Nope. I just thought "It would be neat to push their buttons and see how long I can last."
All this is a minimal amount of evidence to what I am trying to say. I am saying maybe it's time to check out. <--the dot meant for good.
My parents I think are sadder watching me suffer with this crud I have of a life than just for me to be gone.
My mind says just let go. Why not?
I drive, and it's a miracle on it's own I havn't crossed that double yellow...
Can you see how "GET A JOB" from my parents, friends, mentors, couselors, and others doesn't sound like really NEEDED advise - a job wont make me sane again. I'm happy on the edge. I double dog dare you to shove me to see if i fall - i'd like to know myself.
Ever have it where you are on your way somewhere, driving, and you turn down a street you didn't mean to go down. It's shorter to turn around and turn back on the street you were on, so you do so. Just a simple error, right? I mean you just went down the wrong street because you weren't thinking.......
What if this happened to you daily, actually, hourly even. What if you made decisions about what to say to someone as the very thought came by in a conversation while your over at their house, blankly talking with no purpose in it all... heck, what if you didn't know why you went to their house - you just did cuz your mind suggested it to you.
What if you called a girl, who you dont care about, and asked her to a movie simply because you thought "I can, so why not?"
What if you experianced this loss of purpose, a wandering soul walking the face of the earth...
School came up. Did I act on the government money to support my tuision (spelling, balance due for college)? Did I tour the campus? Did I even look at the parking lot? Nope. Why? Cuz. cuz..... cuz my mind said it didn't want to, so I listened without question.
I currently have about 5-7 usernames on this site - i got banned alot of times for stupid reasons. The fault of the moderators? Nope. I just thought "It would be neat to push their buttons and see how long I can last."
All this is a minimal amount of evidence to what I am trying to say. I am saying maybe it's time to check out. <--the dot meant for good.
My parents I think are sadder watching me suffer with this crud I have of a life than just for me to be gone.
My mind says just let go. Why not?
I drive, and it's a miracle on it's own I havn't crossed that double yellow...
Can you see how "GET A JOB" from my parents, friends, mentors, couselors, and others doesn't sound like really NEEDED advise - a job wont make me sane again. I'm happy on the edge. I double dog dare you to shove me to see if i fall - i'd like to know myself.
