Things you don't want to hear in a plane from the pilot

[Silent_J]

i'd love to be a pilot and do that...

 

[Pluto]

Reminds me of something that happened to my parents...

They were coming home from this church thing in San Diego and my Dad's trying to keep my mother from being nervous. She HATES flying. They were waiting and waiting and waiting... and the plane still didn't move. Then all of the sudden this maitinence guy comes flying down the aisle... with a roll of duck tape in hand.
My mom gasped. "I really did not need to see that." You know what my Dad said?
"Oh relax. I would be really worried if he was out on the wing."

That sounds a lot like my step-dad.

 

[underwater_monkey]

that would kinda suck...haha

 

[LILIVIWA]

How about this scenario...

"ladies and gentlement... we are now flying over a volcanoe...just so that you can see how it looks...Oppps...er...um...how do you shut this mic off...dammit James pull the throttle up...." click...

 

[BrotherAtArms]

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your safety belts, we will be expieriencing turbulance soon, thank you...."
"you turn off the mic?"
"yeah I think so.... hey what's that?"
"oh that can't be good!"
"uh-oh!"
________________________

"Hey what's that over there?"
"I dunno... let's go see"
"Yeah!"
......."Ladies and Gentlment, we'll be going through a slight detour, delays are possible...."

_________________________
"One, two, three... REDLIGHT! hahaha, jim you're out!"

________________________

"mmmmm, I love facials, and these cucumbers on my eyes, mmmmmm"

 

[Eutycus]

"ladies and gentlemen on behalf of the crew I would like to welcome you onto Delta airlines flight 12894. if this is your first time on board dont worry your not allone its mine too. Now lets get going and see what this baby can do."

 

[BrotherAtArms]

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, notice the exits on either side of the plane and in the rear... chances are, you'll have to use them... and ignore skippy the hyper active alian in the corner.... stay 5 ft away from him atleast and you'll be just fine..."

 

[BarbB]

True story.

I was flying a 19-seater from Toronto Canada to D.C. and as we were being jitneyed to the terminal the pilot said to the other pilot "I've never gotten this bird that high before!"

 

[godisgr8]

Lol!!!!

 

[godisgr8]

Reminds me of something that happened to my parents...

They were coming home from this church thing in San Diego and my Dad's trying to keep my mother from being nervous. She HATES flying. They were waiting and waiting and waiting... and the plane still didn't move. Then all of the sudden this maitinence guy comes flying down the aisle... with a roll of duck tape in hand.
My mom gasped. "I really did not need to see that." You know what my Dad said?
"Oh relax. I would be really worried if he was out on the wing."

Rotfl!!!!

 

[TheMainException]

lol!

 

[horseluva42792]

Lol