Things worrying me

[DeerGlow]

About sending the HS away, I don't want Him to go but I keep saying these things I don't feel Him with me now and I'm afraid I've been left forever. Please pray for God to have mercy on me and give the HS into me again to save me and lead me. I am afraid of these words, like in Matthew 12 of giving an account for every word and the verse like, "Out of an abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." People tell me thoughts won't condemn me but isn't Jesus saying your words reveal your heart? I feel like such a Cassius or Esau, Cassius who stood on the roofs daring Zeus to strike him. That hard of heart by my actions and thoughts. Or Esau who gave away his birthright for a very fleeting thing and could not find repentance seeking it with tears.

I'm also afraid because of a note in my study bible, basically saying Jesus will judge those who were unfaithful to him. I am afraid that since I strayed from Christianity Jesus will reject me, like Hebrews 6 and 10 too worry me.... I wonder if I have true faith or saving faith not just dead or fake faith. I am afraid I have disrespected God and He's done playing with me. I'm afraid I have a hard heart that cannot believe or repent. I remembered recently in my horrible backslidden (apostasised? ) period, sinning with very dark things. I was tempted by fortunes and some witchcraft. I feel condemned by how evil I was (and am? I don't know if I'm saved). I need mercy badly but I may have a hard heart. Please pray God will give me a soft, responsive heart that loves Him, and sends me salvation.

I'm having intrusive thoughts about the mark of the beast too, I'm afraid of the instant condemnation from that as well.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

you tick the God fearing box. How about the gentle kind Jesus perspective? perhaps work on that?
prayers

 

[DeerGlow]

you tick the God fearing box. How about the gentle kind Jesus perspective? perhaps work on that?
prayers

I am stressed by the threat of eternal pain but I feel like if I really was the one God fearing refers to in scripture I'd be in an awe and fear that would make me avoid sin more and more, not relax after evil thoughts because "oh I might be forgiven it's okay there's not hell in my future." But there might be. But it doesn't make me feel the horror and terror that kept me up sick all night that it used to. I'm afraid that I'm not truly God fearing.

 

[Saucy]

You have nothing to fear! God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of peace, love, and a sound mind. All you have to do is repent and it's done. Don't worry yourself over what you've done, as it's already been buried. The enemy wants to convince you that God is no longer there, but He's not a 'feeling' you have. His word says He's always with us, so you have to believe that. He's always with you, no matter what. Also, read the story of the prodigal son. Heaven rejoices when we return home!

 

[DeerGlow]

You have nothing to fear! God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of peace, love, and a sound mind. All you have to do is repent and it's done. Don't worry yourself over what you've done, as it's already been buried. The enemy wants to convince you that God is no longer there, but He's not a 'feeling' you have. His word says He's always with us, so you have to believe that. He's always with you, no matter what. Also, read the story of the prodigal son. Heaven rejoices when we return home!

I'm not sure I have returned home. It's not like before. Can you pray for me? For mercy and a soft heart and guidance?

 

[Saucy]

Yes definitely

 

[PKFox]

you tick the God fearing box. How about the gentle kind Jesus perspective? perhaps work on that?
prayers

The sermon at my church today was on the kindness of God. Funny how He works that out...
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:4-7
God chooses to forgive us because of how kind and loving He is. We don't have to be afraid (although I understand that you are).

Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God: sternness to those who fell, but kindness to you, provided that you continue in his kindness. Otherwise, you also will be cut off. Romans 11:22
God is stern to those who reject Him, but kind to those who love Him.

Praying.

 

[brinny]

Praying dear heart (((hug)))

 

[DeerGlow]

The sermon at my church today was on the kindness of God. Funny how He works that out...
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:4-7
God chooses to forgive us because of how kind and loving He is. We don't have to be afraid (although I understand that you are).

Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God: sternness to those who fell, but kindness to you, provided that you continue in his kindness. Otherwise, you also will be cut off. Romans 11:22
God is stern to those who reject Him, but kind to those who love Him.

Praying.

Things like that scare me. Sternness to those who fell (me?), continue or cut off (me?).

 

[DeerGlow]

Praying dear heart (((hug)))

You are a comforting presence on the forums brinny.

 

[Solomons Porch]

I will be praying for this, much love Deerglow, you are not alone.

I'm not sure I have returned home. It's not like before. Can you pray for me? For mercy and a soft heart and guidance?

 

[Strider1002]

If you want to come back to Him, that's a sign that He's not done with you yet.

 

[PKFox]

Things like that scare me. Sternness to those who fell (me?), continue or cut off (me?).

It's not meant to be scary, but rather to demonstrate how God is kind to those who accept Him. I'll continue praying for you and that God will help you to not be afraid.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

you are a part of my daily prayers..

 

[DeerGlow]

you are a part of my daily prayers..

Thank you, I've been in such a low place for so long I'm exhausted on almost every level.

 

[cuja1]

About sending the HS away, I don't want Him to go but I keep saying these things I don't feel Him with me now and I'm afraid I've been left forever. Please pray for God to have mercy on me and give the HS into me again to save me and lead me. I am afraid of these words, like in Matthew 12 of giving an account for every word and the verse like, "Out of an abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." People tell me thoughts won't condemn me but isn't Jesus saying your words reveal your heart? I feel like such a Cassius or Esau, Cassius who stood on the roofs daring Zeus to strike him. That hard of heart by my actions and thoughts. Or Esau who gave away his birthright for a very fleeting thing and could not find repentance seeking it with tears.

I'm also afraid because of a note in my study bible, basically saying Jesus will judge those who were unfaithful to him. I am afraid that since I strayed from Christianity Jesus will reject me, like Hebrews 6 and 10 too worry me.... I wonder if I have true faith or saving faith not just dead or fake faith. I am afraid I have disrespected God and He's done playing with me. I'm afraid I have a hard heart that cannot believe or repent. I remembered recently in my horrible backslidden (apostasised? ) period, sinning with very dark things. I was tempted by fortunes and some witchcraft. I feel condemned by how evil I was (and am? I don't know if I'm saved). I need mercy badly but I may have a hard heart. Please pray God will give me a soft, responsive heart that loves Him, and sends me salvation.

I'm having intrusive thoughts about the mark of the beast too, I'm afraid of the instant condemnation from that as well.

It's thoughts like these (that i had for years) that led me to believe that I have no choice but to give it to God.

I've found that humans have layers and layers of problems and things that they
have to work through before they are capable of handling other issues. I've had to deal with anger management, stress, intrusive thoughts, lack of patience, inability to slow down, fear of everything, depression, and on top of it all we have to learn to overcome temptations and still love God while we're doing it.

You have to take it one step at a time. Pray about everything, listen to other Chtistian's advice and see if you can apply it to you.

For now just breathe. God still loves you. He hasn't given up on you. And if reading the Bible is only stressing you out and making you feel crazy - stop it. There's no sense in reading the Bible right now if it's only giving you thoughts of condemnation. Go out and experience God's world so that you'll know how to apply the Bible to real life. Allow God time to help you even if it takes years to see results.

 

[saved24]

Praying for you. The Lord loves you so much. God bless.

 

[Kindled]

Praying!!!

 

[MakLee]

Isaiah 43 25

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.

 

[brinny]

You are a comforting presence on the forums brinny.

Bless yer heart, He LOVES you precious, regardless what da enemy is chanting at you. God is a very PRESENT HELP in our times of trouble and uncertainty. He's there, even if the enemy is kickin' up a storm. Praying that God quiets those lies the enemy is spewing at you. God KNOWS yer heart, and it is very PRECIOUS to Him. He DOES have a future and a hope for you, and He will SURELY place you right smack in it. Praying, dear heart (((hug)))