Things I didn't consider

[Hermit7]

Last night, something along the lines of "I recant God/His salvation" came into my mind, while I was in bed.

I kept repeating to myself the phrase "God ignores everything. He ignores everything" just to remind myself of what I prayed to God to ignore all these things that pop up into my head.

I then took a drink of water, but as I went to acknowledge God it suddenly felt like I was confirming my "recantations" from before.

Thing is I never took into account actual actions in my original prayer to God. So it's like a loop-hole that got through.

And because of this, now I'm afraid to do a particular thing because of that.

What do I do?

 

[Enahs4Him]

I have had a trouble with thoughts against God, and I hated those thoughts. I would get in my rituals of trying to say something good in my mind. As I was doing this a wrong word would pop up in my mind and then i would be on the merry go round again.
So I have decided just to rebuke the thought and praise Jesus
So hang in there, you are not alone. I know it doesn't exactly answer what you are going through, but I thought it might help to know that you are not alone.

 

[adam7272]

John Bunyan had a similiar experience which he records in his book "Grace Abounding to the Chief of sinners". He struggled with this for a very long time, but eventually came to the point of becoming a powerful preacher and writer for the Lord. I recommend that book as many of the things he goes through, and the way he thinks, reminds me so much of my thought patterns and struggles. Actually when considering Bunyan and what he went through, it gives me much hope during the times when I feel totally lost and unsaveable. Ultimately we know that salvation is of the Lord, and it is by faith from first to last. I find that these loops our minds get stuck on can be a thorn in the flesh, and in them we can learn that God's grace is sufficient. Salvation is of God, He saves, He sanctifies, and He will glorify. The battle is the Lord's, I believe we just need to be willing to show up.