Things have changed...

[Laula777]

Hello
So, lately I have been feeling really down & out of it. Last year was great & I had a great group of close friends. But this year things have changed. It's like I no longer have a close group anymore. The friends that I had no longer make any effort to talk or hang out with me. I'm always making the effort while last year it wasn't like that. I've confronted them asking if there was any offence, if something was wrong on a few occasions. But nothing changes. They also hang out with new people that I have met before.

I just hate this feeling & I really miss having that close group of friends that are more like family than friends. I've also had other friends this year use me when they need me & forget about me when everything is fine for them & friends who completely ignore me because they now have a boyfriend. And these friends are Christians & some are from my church. So, I pretty much don't feel too good & wondering what to do. I have thought of going to another church's young adults social events to meet new people, would that be ok? I don't want to leave my church as I know that's where God has planted me.
Any ideas/advice/encouragement would be much appreciated! Thanks & God bless!

 

[mahlalie]

I totally know how you feel because I remember being in those shoes. I remember going through a phase in which all my friends had there girlfriends and would go off every which way leaving me standing there saying, "Okay?" I felt like when one of my buddies invited the guys over, I was the one that was left out. It hurt cause I was certain these people were the best friends I had ever had, and then all of the sudden, I felt like the odd one out. For me, I took comfort in playing music, primarily worship music. I realize that's not an option for everyone as everyone isn't a musician. Just know that times like these pass, and you'll find friends that don't just view you as a convenience.

 

[YoDude]

I also had a similar experience over the past year, but God has made me stronger and I adapted to his new direction in my life. We go through trials, but greet each new day as a new opportunity; these are all tests, and help build our character, meet this new chapter in your life as a challenge to grow, it is not a punishment, it is intended that you will have fruit down the road, it is all in your head, life is what we make it, and God knows our needs, have Faith that he will meet them, but endure for now, and lean on him. I am sure a new friend is on the horizon.

Why do I use so many commas, I never did well in grammar, darn it!

 

[thatdrummer]

Hello
So, lately I have been feeling really down & out of it. Last year was great & I had a great group of close friends. But this year things have changed. It's like I no longer have a close group anymore. The friends that I had no longer make any effort to talk or hang out with me. I'm always making the effort while last year it wasn't like that. I've confronted them asking if there was any offence, if something was wrong on a few occasions. But nothing changes. They also hang out with new people that I have met before.

I just hate this feeling & I really miss having that close group of friends that are more like family than friends. I've also had other friends this year use me when they need me & forget about me when everything is fine for them & friends who completely ignore me because they now have a boyfriend. And these friends are Christians & some are from my church. So, I pretty much don't feel too good & wondering what to do. I have thought of going to another church's young adults social events to meet new people, would that be ok? I don't want to leave my church as I know that's where God has planted me.
Any ideas/advice/encouragement would be much appreciated! Thanks & God bless!

to be honest i realized that having a group of friends is nothing special...

im the drummer at my church...

everyone knows me...everyone wants to talk to me, mainly the girls, but the guys think im cool, i dont know why but anyways

but i cant deal with it... i cant tell any of them anything, because theyll go behind my back and talk about me

if i tell them yea i was driving and racing someone or something theyll go and say that they can do it because i did it.

even my "best friend" back stabbed me.

i have no hate towards any of them

but i prefer to stay away.

i do fine with my family and my girlfriend.

i think its better that way anyways....

 

[mahlalie]

i do fine with my family and my girlfriend.

i think its better that way anyways....

It was nice for me that way until my girlfriend of four years left me. Then it got very lonely for a couple of months before I hooked back up with some old friends. Those guys are the people I'm closest to today outside of my family. "Friends" may be overrated, but real friends are rare and irreplaceable.

 

[thatdrummer]

wow....ive been with mine for almost 3 years now..

if it wasnt meant to be, then it wasnt meant to be you know?

but if that happened to me, yea i would go hang out with friends, but never keep them close...

friends are best when they dont know much about you

from my personal experiences anyways

its hard to find a "true" friend

never had one, thought i did for a while.

but ofcourse, wasnt true lol

 

[mahlalie]

I hear ya, bro. I guess I just live a relatively open life, so there's not really that much that separates my "friends" from my true friends. I just know that if life's kicking my butt or I'm in a jam, I have a couple of friends that will be there for me in a snap. It's kind of funny actually. The person who I may consider the best friend I have, I don't see as much as I'd like. We haven't even really talked in like a month or two. But I know he'd be there for me in a pinch.

I hope you do find a couple of those in life. Some people never do. My dad's in his 60s now, and he only has like one or two, I think.

 

[thatdrummer]

its tough man...

when your family of the pastor atleast....im his grandson

everything i do is criticized so i dont have time to make people like me...

either they like me or not, im not gonna beg no one you know?

i quit trying a while ago beause i realized even if they do like me

if something happens that they have to decide between me and their "status" in church

they pick themselves....so thats why im just like...eh w.e

 

[mahlalie]

I hear ya, bro. I didn't grow up family of the pastor or anything, but I'm quite familiar with the stereotypes and increased scrutiny. All you can do is be yourself, and do your best to make God happy. You don't find those true friends by trying to make people like you. Obviously, someone who chooses status over friendship was never a real friend in the first place. Or maybe they were and they succumbed to pressure in which case I would imagine they would regret it. Don't try to please people; just hope that you find real friends. I know you're not really looking for them, but don't be turned off to the idea. I'm just sayin'.