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Things being slammed

shazabella

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this wk in particular i have been brought back to my childhood of loud noises at early hrs of the morning and its so frightening ... dad is on the warpath again and nothing much has changed.

On tuesday i was so afraid of him coming home when mum wasn't home and I haven't been like that since i was 15. Everything was going fantastically last wk ... i had an awesome youth camp and now the enemy is having a field day with everyone i know and love.

I haven't seen my parents fight like this in yrs and its really scary ... because i can't pretend not to hear it anymore and everytime something is slammed or thrown i jump 10 ft in the air. The enemy really sucks !!!!

please pray for this mess !

- Shaz
 
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Theresasjourney

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shazabella said:
this wk in particular i have been brought back to my childhood of loud noises at early hrs of the morning and its so frightening ... dad is on the warpath again and nothing much has changed.

On tuesday i was so afraid of him coming home when mum wasn't home and I haven't been like that since i was 15. Everything was going fantastically last wk ... i had an awesome youth camp and now the enemy is having a field day with everyone i know and love.

I haven't seen my parents fight like this in yrs and its really scary ... because i can't pretend not to hear it anymore and everytime something is slammed or thrown i jump 10 ft in the air. The enemy really sucks !!!!

please pray for this mess !

- Shaz
I'm sorry your parents fight so much...that is a very hard thing to live around. what kinds of things have you tried..like playing music when it happens..or turning into a prayer warrior when the enemy strikes or just leaving the house....are you getting any support?
I'm glad you had an awesome time at camp..they are always such a blessing..;o)
 
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Yasha

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My husband was such a jerk on Sunday. We went to a WaterPark to cool off from hot weather. A FUN park. Some fun! My husband was a mean and angry man again this weekend. I hate when he is like this. He didn't take his meds and he was awful. He hated everything all day, the people were even walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk for his liking. That's true! He said so very seriously, he wanted to know why people didn't stick to the proper side of the sidewalk, like on the streets in cars. What a mess. He said mean things about me and the kids(they weren't there). He complained about everything. He pushed me away and bossed me around, ALL the sounds that came out of him were unkind.
He's unpleasant and difficult most times, but when he goes to this place he was on the weekend, he is cruel and mean, deliberately.

My son won't be with him for more than a few hours on a good day. He won't even venture near when he is like this, though, a bad day! Thank God he is old enough to get away now. His sister, too.

It takes me days to overcome the grief and sadness that comes into me during those 'spells.' I am sooooooo tired of trying. In the last few months, I have begun to lose my tongue once he starts. This is why I am going to an abuse shelter for counseling on Monday...I don't WANT to become him. His doctor upped his medicine on Friday and he has been GREAT since taking it! He took his meds when we got home from the WaterPark and he's been actually thoughtful, kind and fine since then.

But, I'm not! I feel like I live in the twilight zone. My son, who is the only person who KNOWS what I live through, has moved out and is doing well, so I don't want to burden him with anymore stories of the frontlines.

I had breakfast with a friend and lunch with my daughter yesterday(my daughter doesn't know this part of her dad; she was adopted out and raised by her mom and step-dad and came back to find her father when she was 18. She never lived with us. No one outside the house would know my husband like this.), then a neighbor friend came over in the afternoon to work on some art work together. I made an appointment at the crisis shelter for Monday and I am trying to hold on. These efforts at fellowship and this appointment are all could do for myself, besides making sure I keep up with college work. I'm trying to do my best, as usual, but I'm so OVER THIS!!!!!!

So, I can relate, Shaz. The attack has been on full force around here. I am so beside myself to be here.....I think the enemy is really mad at me for the many milestones accomplished to save our kids and my husband, and the crud is starting to hit the fan.

The enemy has been stirring every bee's nest he can think of, my job search, finances, etc. and I am trying to hang on to this tree branch here in this storm....but I want to let go ....

I'm praying for us both at the same time for a few days. There's a lady named Im-revived from England, her family is having the SAME sort of upheaval, I am lifting her, too. She's a prayer partner on the prayer forum whose had to find new shelter for herself and her son because of stuff with her husband since her son tried to off himself to get away from the mess. Welcome to the prayer list. Sorry you are on it for this, too.

God, Lord Jesus, overcome ABUSE in the hearts of men, in the heart of me, in the hearts of all here mentioned. Overcome the backlash of abuse past and present, end it's stronghold and send it and its boss, the enemy, to the farthest reaches of the Abyss, where it belongs, to devour itself!, for Your glory, amen.

GLORY, all-sizes-fits-ONE! Jesus!

Love, Sha
 
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Yasha

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So, here it this morning:

How are you doing?

Sorry I was on the skids the same time as you and haven't been much support to your need here. I need to hear how things are going with you now, too. So please write a few lines when you can, 'k?

Has your dad calmed down or is he still on the 'heap big injun' wardrums? Hey, did you notice, I got my war whoopin' getup on, too? I'm gonna kick some demon butt right out of my life with all the praise I can muster! I decided that it's time to rededicate our home to the Lord. I am gonna put mezuzahs on my computer and tv screens. I already have them on the doors. I'm not very traditional about it, I put my own scroll with verses that my husband and me choose in them. I place them properly and put SHADDAI on them, though. I dedicate most things. I put qodesh verses on things, like in Zechariah 14:20-21. It may be a ritual thing, but I feel more positive when I dedicate things. I know we can not be posessed as Christians, we are sealed by the Spirit. I also know that the enemy can inhabit our environment to torment us. He sneeks in in subtle ways and sometimes I just feel better if me and Jesus cast him out again.

I am lifting you when I pray for me. It's late now in the US 12:36am, and I have to go get some zzzzzzz's. I just wanted to stop in and ask how you are....know that I love you, darlin'. We are overcomers. Jesus will hear our heart's desires to survive and be renewed. He will answer us with time.

Be blessed. amen.
 
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shazabella

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Shachah said:
So, here it this morning:

How are you doing?

Sorry I was on the skids the same time as you and haven't been much support to your need here. I need to hear how things are going with you now, too. So please write a few lines when you can, 'k?

Has your dad calmed down or is he still on the 'heap big injun' wardrums? Hey, did you notice, I got my war whoopin' getup on, too? I'm gonna kick some demon butt right out of my life with all the praise I can muster! I decided that it's time to rededicate our home to the Lord. I am gonna put mezuzahs on my computer and tv screens. I already have them on the doors. I'm not very traditional about it, I put my own scroll with verses that my husband and me choose in them. I place them properly and put SHADDAI on them, though. I dedicate most things. I put qodesh verses on things, like in Zechariah 14:20-21. It may be a ritual thing, but I feel more positive when I dedicate things. I know we can not be posessed as Christians, we are sealed by the Spirit. I also know that the enemy can inhabit our environment to torment us. He sneeks in in subtle ways and sometimes I just feel better if me and Jesus cast him out again.

I am lifting you when I pray for me. It's late now in the US 12:36am, and I have to go get some zzzzzzz's. I just wanted to stop in and ask how you are....know that I love you, darlin'. We are overcomers. Jesus will hear our heart's desires to survive and be renewed. He will answer us with time.

Be blessed. amen.

Hey Sha,

things have settled down big time minus the whole dad knowing how dangerous my perp was and neglecting to tell me until 2 yrs later and it all came out on tuesday night what exactly was wrong with him and why he acted the way he did ...:mad: x a million but yeah u get that.

Hope things are going ok with u and that u have an awesome b'day :hug:

- Shaz
 
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