- Jul 19, 2014
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How do you deal with family members who don't "get" that you have bipolar? I have known something was wrong with me since early high school. I couldn't put a name on it, but I looked around and saw a difference between my classmates and me. That led me to the almighty Google, where I started reading about mental illnesses.
Years came and went, and I eventually found a mentor who--lo and behold--has bipolar disorder. I read an article that was done on him in a local publication, and realized that the similarities were there. I asked him about it, and he said from what he saw, I might have bipolar; he advised me to seek help from a professional.
A few more years went by, and I began trying to find a therapist and a psychiatrist. I told my family at that point that I thought I had bipolar disorder, but was remaining open-minded to whatever the therapist and/or psychiatrist had to say. My Dad was the most vocal against my bipolar disorder. Given his history with certain people (I won't discuss that here), I could understand his aversion, but surely--I thought--facts are facts and can't be ignored.
Three months after I began therapy, my Dad still didn't get it. I had a fully manic episode and ended up in the hospital voluntarily for twelve days. I got out. He still didn't get it. Here we are several months after my hospitalization, and Robin Williams did what he did. Now my Dad has been criticizing my choice in movies, music, and the things I participate in.
"Why would someone with depression do/watch/listen to that? Doesn't that depress you?"
"No. It has a happy ending/it's meaningful to me/it gives me hope because it shows me the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and I have bipolar, not depression. It's different."
"You just need to calm down."
"I am calm."
"You're doing that agitated hand thing again."
"That's what's helping me to stay calm."
"You just don't listen."
"I'm trying. I'm still standing here, aren't I?"
"You just have an answer for everything."
"Why ask a question you don't want an answer to?"
And he wonders why I shut off and clam up.
This is a bit of a rant, I admit, but I am serious: when your family members don't understand, how do you handle that? With friends or other people, I can usually just distance myself and move on, but that isn't always an option with family. My Mom won her battle with cancer by going home to be with God, but my Dad is still grieving (understandably; who can fault him for that?). I can't just "up and leave" on him, when he's this fragile, but I also don't want to sacrifice my mental health.
Years came and went, and I eventually found a mentor who--lo and behold--has bipolar disorder. I read an article that was done on him in a local publication, and realized that the similarities were there. I asked him about it, and he said from what he saw, I might have bipolar; he advised me to seek help from a professional.
A few more years went by, and I began trying to find a therapist and a psychiatrist. I told my family at that point that I thought I had bipolar disorder, but was remaining open-minded to whatever the therapist and/or psychiatrist had to say. My Dad was the most vocal against my bipolar disorder. Given his history with certain people (I won't discuss that here), I could understand his aversion, but surely--I thought--facts are facts and can't be ignored.
Three months after I began therapy, my Dad still didn't get it. I had a fully manic episode and ended up in the hospital voluntarily for twelve days. I got out. He still didn't get it. Here we are several months after my hospitalization, and Robin Williams did what he did. Now my Dad has been criticizing my choice in movies, music, and the things I participate in.
"Why would someone with depression do/watch/listen to that? Doesn't that depress you?"
"No. It has a happy ending/it's meaningful to me/it gives me hope because it shows me the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and I have bipolar, not depression. It's different."
"You just need to calm down."
"I am calm."
"You're doing that agitated hand thing again."
"That's what's helping me to stay calm."
"You just don't listen."
"I'm trying. I'm still standing here, aren't I?"
"You just have an answer for everything."
"Why ask a question you don't want an answer to?"
And he wonders why I shut off and clam up.
This is a bit of a rant, I admit, but I am serious: when your family members don't understand, how do you handle that? With friends or other people, I can usually just distance myself and move on, but that isn't always an option with family. My Mom won her battle with cancer by going home to be with God, but my Dad is still grieving (understandably; who can fault him for that?). I can't just "up and leave" on him, when he's this fragile, but I also don't want to sacrifice my mental health.
