They call me sweet

[benedictine]

So, I've had two girls call me sweet in the last six hours. Four total, recently. So, why don't I have a girlfriend?

I'm not complaining (much) cause I can't afford one right now, but come on...

 

[Luther073082]

So, I've had two girls call me sweet in the last six hours. Four total, recently. So, why don't I have a girlfriend?

I'm not complaining (much) cause I can't afford one right now, but come on...

Because girls lie to themselves a lot about wanting a sweet guy. I'm not saying all do but a lot of them do.

 

[Allegory]

You gotta hit it from behind.

 

[fritzo]

Wow, I guess i'm not the only one with this problem *applauds*

I'm 22, never had a girlfriend. It gets lonely, but i'm sure i'm doing something wrong as well. Just hold out for a good 'un

 

[Marycita]

Because girls lie to themselves a lot about wanting a sweet guy. I'm not saying all do but a lot of them do.

hmm..I sort of think that's true...

one of my friends asked me why girls always go for the bad guy..and I didn't know why..I personally, never understood that...but then I was watching a Walk To Remember..and it hit me...girls want to be the one the guy will change for...they want the sweet guy..but they want the guy to be sweet for or because of her...

not all girls...some genuinely want a sweet guy, some genuinely want a bad guy (I don't get it)...but a lot of girls...that's my theory anyway...

 

[Allegory]

You have to understand that there's a distinction between a nice guy and a wimpy guy who is nice.. When you figure that out you'll find girls like you a lot better...


Girls don't want a bad boy (well, they usually don't want someone who's genuinely a bad person), equally they don't want a "nice guy" who's a pushover.

 

[HunnyBee]

If a guy is sweet I will tell him, but that just means he is sweet and nothing more.

 

[ciaradawn]

You have to understand that there's a distinction between a nice guy and a wimpy guy who is nice.. When you figure that out you'll find girls like you a lot better...


Girls don't want a bad boy (well, they usually don't want someone who's genuinely a bad person), equally they don't want a "nice guy" who's a pushover.

well said. I think that's right on the money.

 

[xXxKristaxXx]

Maybe you try too hard? I'm going out with a total sweetheart, I've never been one to go out with the "bad guys" so I dont know how other girls think about that.

 

[Tragic Paradox]

So, why don't I have a girlfriend?

Have you tried asking a girl out? If you haven't....that could be a reason. Sometimes "you're sweet" is an invitation for you to ask them out. Other times it means "you're sweet...but not my type". And other times they're just making a random observation.

Girls are confusing and speak some sort of mysterious unspoken language that has bewildered men since the beginning of time. So good luck in your decoding efforts.

 

[Tuffguy]

I've always been straight up honest with what i want. Believe it or not that is a refreshing thing for a girl. Most guys hide their true wants untill they are married. Then they are miserable and wonder why.

I'm not nice and not sweet. But i do love my wife lots and she knows it.

 

[Sunburst]

Do you think you are?

 

[benedictine]

Do you think you are?

I try to be.

 

[Sunburst]

Well something must make them say it,I doubt they're lying to you. Are we talking on the net like here on in the everyday world??

 

[Luther073082]

hmm..I sort of think that's true...

one of my friends asked me why girls always go for the bad guy..and I didn't know why..I personally, never understood that...but then I was watching a Walk To Remember..and it hit me...girls want to be the one the guy will change for...they want the sweet guy..but they want the guy to be sweet for or because of her...

not all girls...some genuinely want a sweet guy, some genuinely want a bad guy (I don't get it)...but a lot of girls...that's my theory anyway...

Actually here is my theory. Girls always want confidence, thats what turns them on, a guy who is confident he appears as though he is bullet proof.

But here is the thing with confidence that I've found when it comes to approaching women. Its easier to be confident when you don't really care if the girl says yes or no. If I already have some pre-arranged attachment to her, we're friends or I like her or something. Something to indicate that I've actually picked her out of a crowd before that day. . . then that makes it hard to be confident. I mean if you like the girl and she shoots you down you feel kind of bad and you easily get depressed.

Bad boys on the other hand just don't care. They need a woman on their arm but they arn't very particular about who it is. So when they ask a girl out, they are 100% confident. Why? Because even if she says no, there are lots of other girls to ask out. This particular one means nothing.

The "sweet" guy who picks the girl out of the crowd, likes her isn't so confident. There is happiness or unhappiness riding on that answer. To him it doesn't matter at that moment that there are other girls, because she is the one he wants. (Thats not to say he can't get over her or anything, but at that time he wants her and not just any girl).

So I think a lot of girls shoot themselves in the foot sometimes. Cause honestly if the guy asks you out and isn't the least bit nervous about any of it. Chances are he just needs some girl and you are his "some girl" not the girl.

Do you want to be some girl or the girl?

Now on guys on the other hand you have to appear more confident. (And I don't want to act like I'm some big expert on this because I'm not) A bit of nerviousness is probably to be expected but many women want a guy who's going to feel like their protector. Appearing like you are afraid of her just doesn't give confidence in your protective abilities.

 

[Forever trying]

Actually here is my theory. Girls always want confidence, thats what turns them on, a guy who is confident he appears as though he is bullet proof.

But here is the thing with confidence that I've found when it comes to approaching women. Its easier to be confident when you don't really care if the girl says yes or no. If I already have some pre-arranged attachment to her, we're friends or I like her or something. Something to indicate that I've actually picked her out of a crowd before that day. . . then that makes it hard to be confident. I mean if you like the girl and she shoots you down you feel kind of bad and you easily get depressed.

Bad boys on the other hand just don't care. They need a woman on their arm but they arn't very particular about who it is. So when they ask a girl out, they are 100% confident. Why? Because even if she says no, there are lots of other girls to ask out. This particular one means nothing.

The "sweet" guy who picks the girl out of the crowd, likes her isn't so confident. There is happiness or unhappiness riding on that answer. To him it doesn't matter at that moment that there are other girls, because she is the one he wants. (Thats not to say he can't get over her or anything, but at that time he wants her and not just any girl).

So I think a lot of girls shoot themselves in the foot sometimes. Cause honestly if the guy asks you out and isn't the least bit nervous about any of it. Chances are he just needs some girl and you are his "some girl" not the girl.

Do you want to be some girl or the girl?

Now on guys on the other hand you have to appear more confident. (And I don't want to act like I'm some big expert on this because I'm not) A bit of nerviousness is probably to be expected but many women want a guy who's going to feel like their protector. Appearing like you are afraid of her just doesn't give confidence in your protective abilities.

As it is in alot of cases Luther, your post hits the nail on the head.

I may post something further to this discussion later.

 

[K9_Trainer]

You have to understand that there's a distinction between a nice guy and a wimpy guy who is nice.. When you figure that out you'll find girls like you a lot better...


Girls don't want a bad boy (well, they usually don't want someone who's genuinely a bad person), equally they don't want a "nice guy" who's a pushover.

Bingo. That goes hand in hand with what luther said. The challenge is finding the balance. Personally, I'd advise just befriending a girl first, just get her number and let her know you want to hang out more. It lets her know that you don't want to just jump into anything (you want her to be THE girl, not A girl).

As for your money shortage...Girls aren't dogs or horses, you shouldn't have to be constantly spending a ton of money on their upkeep. Like they say, it's the thought that counts. If I love the guy and care about him, it's not going to bother me if we hang out at his houes and watch DVD's and the only thing he can give me is a rose from the bush in his front yard. I'd still adore it because he thought of me when he saw that rose and hanging at his house watching DVD's is still time we get to hang out and have fun. If you find a girl that is demanding everything and gets mad at you for not getting her a present every other day, then she's not in the relationship for the right reasons and she's probably not the kind of girl you want anyway.

 

[ciaradawn]

I know that confidence is a big deal for me, so there is definately truth in your statement Luther.
If a guy is confident and looks me in the eyes then they've automatically got points.

 

[mistyday23]

I dated a guy once who was soooooo sweet, he treated me like a queen. I broke up with him because he was such a push over. He didn't speak his mind, he let everyone run over him. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I personally don't go for the sweet guys. I am married now, & my husband is not sweet. He is nice, but he is also someone I can argue with. I know it sounds weird, but girls like drama. Sorry if I am confusing you. There are girls out there that love sweet, sensitive guys, so don't change.

 

[Luther073082]

I know that confidence is a big deal for me, so there is definately truth in your statement Luther.
If a guy is confident and looks me in the eyes then they've automatically got points.

Well it does with all girls. . .

But here is is back to the girls again.

It is really hard for me to look you in the eye and ask you to go out with me when I really want you to go out with me and not just some girl.

I'm definatly no pushover, I do have a backbone. On the other hand if I am asking out a specific girl cause I'd like her to go out on a date with me, I'm not "der duh umm" or stumbling over my words nervous. But I'm by no means cool as a cucumber.