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The Thermodynamics of Hell:
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry
> mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with
> colleagues, via the Internet, which is (of course) why we now
>
> have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools off when
> it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the
> following:
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time, so we need to know the
> rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I
think that we can safely
> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that
> exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people
> do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth
> and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase
> exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that
> in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to
> expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This yields two possibilities:
>
> 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will continue to
increase until all Hell breaks
> loose.
>
> 2) If the volume of Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of the
> volume of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Teresa Bayman during my
> Freshman year, that "... it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you" and take into
> account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair
with her, then #2 above
> cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will
not freeze over."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A.
>
>
>
The Thermodynamics of Hell:
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry
> mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with
> colleagues, via the Internet, which is (of course) why we now
>
> have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools off when
> it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the
> following:
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time, so we need to know the
> rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I
think that we can safely
> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that
> exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people
> do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth
> and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase
> exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that
> in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to
> expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This yields two possibilities:
>
> 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will continue to
increase until all Hell breaks
> loose.
>
> 2) If the volume of Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of the
> volume of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Teresa Bayman during my
> Freshman year, that "... it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you" and take into
> account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair
with her, then #2 above
> cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will
not freeze over."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A.
>
>
>
