Theres More

[Godssongbird]

there more

Today i am so sad, My husband got angry again but this time it was very violent , it was something so simple he got angry over.. while me and the baby were in the car he banged the steering wheel and almost made us get into a accident.. he cursed me many times , spit in my face .. all because
i want the truth .. and also because today he went to the store and the made a mistake with his food order. . when we came back home he put his hands up to hit me , i told him if he did i will call the police
he then told me to be gone before he gets home , That he wants his freedom
He said he doesnt like being a husband and father. He wants to do what he wants . he called me a harlot because i was raped in my life when i was young , he acts like that was my fault. I Feel hurt , trapped and i dont know what to do the man i married is not the same anymore. I Feel all alone in this
as a christian woman and i feel shame for what i have to go through
Ps: I Have a baby and im preg again too

 

[WashedClean]

First of all, here is a big hug . I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Do you have a church that can go to? How about your Obstetrician? Family? You need to remove yourself from this situation for your safety and your child and unborn child. Do it for them if you can't do it for yourself.

It's only a matter of time before you or your children are seriously injured. Your husband needs help. Under no circumstances should you stay. PLEASE LEAVE NOW. I realize it's easier said than done, but go to a police station if need be.

I will pray for you. Please let us know how you're doing if you can.

God bless you and your children,

Jill

 

[WashedClean]

Hi - It's me again...

I just read your other posts and saw that your Dad passed and your Mom is sick with cancer. I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to you.

Please go to the nearest church if you don't have one you attend. People are more than willing to help if you just reach out. You mentioned in one of your posts that you are just going to keep praying. That's good, but God doesn't want you to be in danger, so leave now and keep praying for God's guidance.

I will pray for your protection and that God will give you the strength to leave NOW.

Love,

Jill

 

[Godssongbird]

my pastor doesnt believe me cause my husband acts one way in church and another at home , so i cant ask him for help

 

[wonder111]

can you talk to a pastor that doesn't know him?

 

[DaveKerwin]

leave him, go stay with family. I would get off the computer and do it right now if I were you.

This is an honest question: Do you have any mental disorders or anything like that?

 

[Godssongbird]

Dave
That wasnt very nice of you to ask me . i dont have any mental promblems
i have no family , my moms sick with cancer and my dad died
i have a baby and another one on its way here .. i am sick with diabeties
alot of people in the christian world seem to think if woman are in abusive situations they are crazy.. they dont leave for many reasons .. most cause of no were to go.. this is not easy for me and i dont need you being mean to me as well

 

[Violet]

Godssongbird I posted this on the other thread ~


I'm so sorry

Do you have any where to go? You need to leave dear....go to a women's shelter if you don't have family or a friend's house. Do you belong to a church? If so then call the pastor and he can probably help you w/somewhere to go. If not you can go to any other pastor and they should help you.

Please do not listen to him when he calls you a harlot! It was not your fault...don't let him make you think otherwise.

 

[Archivist]

By all means, get to the safety of an abuse shelter. They should have a chaplin or trained counselor with whom you can discuss your situation.

Your husband obviously has serve anger management problems and needs help.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[bliz]

Songbird -

First - you have nothing to be ashamed of!!! You have done nothing wrong. You are not a crazy pregnant lady. You are not a harlot. You are a woman, made in the image of God and loved by God.

You have 2 choices:

1. you have to get yourself and the baby out of the house and somewhere safe

2. you have to get him out of the house so you and your children can stay there and be safe

Which will be easier for you to do? Do you have some friends who can come and pack up your stuff? Is there a woman's shelter in your community?

I know that you never in your life imagined that you would be in this situation. You are embarassed. How could this have happened to you?

You could: call the local police and explain the situation and ask what help they can offer you if you have no place to go. How helpful police are varies greatly from one community to another, but most cops are all too familiar with domestic violence and what your minister may not want to believe, the cops will. Perhaps they can come be there when he packs his stuff to leave.

If they cannot, you need to get out of there tonight. If he has not come home yet, get your baby in the car and go to a hotel.

Your husband is disturbed by many things, none of which have anything to do with you. But your safety is on the line and that matters not only to us here, but it matters a great deal to your children!!!

Where do you live? Perhaps one of us is nearby or knows people in your community and can give you the name of someone who can take you in or provide help. I personally have friends all over the US... I'm sure many people here do as well.

Please take action to keep yourself safe!!!

 

[joshua_cheung]

Love yourself and your babies.

Leave him and trust God lead your way.
Be brave. Only you can protect your babies, so take action and the love for the babies and yourself make you strong. Ask for help and get the knowledge to help your babies and yourself.

I think God ask you to leave him in order to teach him lessons and develop your faith ,love and knowledge in this situation.

 

[Flipper]

Call your courthouse to find out how to file a restraining order against your husband. Sometimes they call it an adult abuse order. You will have to go there to do it. You will fill out a form, detailing what you have told us about how you feel threatened for yourself AND your children, and then appear before a judge who will grant it for something like 10 days (depending on what state you are in). You can do this without him knowing about it. In most venues, this will not cost you a dime, in some, it is a small processing fee. The document will go to the sheriff to be served upon your husband - request that it be served upon him at work - this will cost you $20 or $30, depending on the venue. In the restraining order, he will not be able to come within so many feet of you, this will basically kick him out of your house. The sheriff's office may coordinate to allow him to come in to get his things, but ONLY allow this with their presense. This is their job, they will do that.

Make sure you have as many copies of the document as possible, especially if he violates it, so you can show the police when you call them. It is their job to enforce it. After you have the document filed, you need to change the locks in your house, and go to the bank, withdraw half of what is in your checking account, and set up an account in your name only. This will also help protect you in case he withdraws everything and takes off.

In most cases, the restraining order will be for a few days and then you will have to go to court. You will have to give your side and he will give his. The judge will most likely expand it for 60 days and order him (sometimes both of you) into marital counselling. Maybe this will force the issue - the judge can also make him pay you and your childen support.

This is how it works where I live, and it is similar in most places. I URGE YOU to call your local courthouse to find out what what you can do where you live. I would also look in your local yellow pages for hotline numbers for victims of domestic violence - they can also direct you to how you can get a restraining order.

If you don't do something, the next time, he may hurt or even kill you and/or your children. Now is the time to act.

 

[Silent Enigma]

I'll join the others in advising you to get out of this situation.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Dave
That wasnt very nice of you to ask me . i dont have any mental promblems
i have no family , my moms sick with cancer and my dad died
i have a baby and another one on its way here .. i am sick with diabeties
alot of people in the christian world seem to think if woman are in abusive situations they are crazy.. they dont leave for many reasons .. most cause of no were to go.. this is not easy for me and i dont need you being mean to me as well

If I assumed you had a mental prolem I would not have asked. I was not being mean, just trying to fully understand who you are, and where you are at. My apologies for the miscommunication. If you were bipolar or something along those lines, my responce might be a little different. Again, I asked because I did not assume.

If a person is known to be honest and level headed, there is no reason why a pastor would automatically reject the truth being presented to him. I guess if you go to a strange church, that could be the case, but I have trouble seeing that happen. My advice before was to go live with a family member. That is still my advice. Further, I suggest that you contact your elders or whatever board you have at your church which is above your pastor. Lean on them for help and understanding as well. Above all, pray. Peace be with you.

 

[Christi]

I'll be praying for you.