I didn’t have negative feelings about my job when I was in the workforce. But it increasingly became an unhealthy environment for most with unnecessary machinations and power struggles that would be detrimental in the long run. Although half of my time was spent at home the games persisted in my absence. We went through an ugly reorganization made worse by a duplicitous parent company that wouldn’t tell the truth. Coupled with fast and free behaviors that were overlooked in deference to profits. It was a recipe for government intervention or anxiety and both occurred.
I used to meet with someone once a week in lifestyle medicine. It was the alternative practice of my physician’s network that treated ailments with natural remedies. I was wrestling with headaches and seeing a specialist for that and glares in my eyes which had no explanation. While I can’t say they were wholly due to the environment it wasn’t helpful nonetheless. What prompted me to leave was two-fold. My boss’s parting gift was counsel (about a future role) and a personal tidbit concerning her companion who worked in the industry I’d left in the past (finance).
He was a little older than me and retired and she grinned as she told me with a twinkle in her eye. I’d spent a lot of time devouring business titles and related ones in real estate before I came and she knew it. She hired me on the spot when she realized I’d read the dictionary of real estate cover to cover. I believe our meeting was purposeful and she was meant to plant a seed and she did. The second motivation was the doctor’s reaction. When I shared my experiences from the week his expression waxed from varying stages of shock and horror.
Sometimes we can become immune to the scope of toxicity because it’s familiar. They were playing mind games with many employees including a friend that I couldn’t ignore. The final straw was them offering her a job I turned down earlier. She had 15 years in the industry and I was nearing two and the position was my second promotion in that period. I didn’t take it because my former boss directed me to the role with more visibility and told me how to handle the SVP I was dealing with. I asked for the greater role in its place and he offered her the lesser and it set off an alarm.
At some point he learned they were going to shut the office down but didn’t disclose it. He flew his office manager in for a week to work on a project with the department but it was a meet and greet in disguise. He told me in confidence afterward I could work for him and said they’d cover the move, increase my pay and trajectory. But he had a funny way of looking at me and a senior officer expressed concern to another friend regarding my work. Not that it was bad but he was placing me in a lot and every role put me in contact with our c-suite. It was a modest expression of preferential treatment. I shared some of the things he said with my friend. She was older and confirmed my suspicions.
While the job would be a boon he was the boss and had a lot of clout. I’d have no recourse if things went sideways. I thanked him for the offer and expressed my concerns about the area and he made arrangements for a different role elsewhere. But my gut told me to leave in spite of it and when the truth was announced I asked for my severance. By then I’d bid adieu to my corporate aspirations and began to make the shift to entrepreneurship on a mental level. Robert Kiyosaki addresses this in his writings. The majority is baloney but this is golden.
Moving from the left quadrant to the right was a must. Emotional attachments to the ladder would derail me. Seeing your position as a means to an end while you’re still employed requires a vision to work towards. That’s not a green light for shoddy performance or breaking the rules. But the conscious recognition of the temporary funding the greater entity you’re building. It helps if that’s the goal. But some people desire otherwise which brings us to Sinek. Find your why as he says.
What helped me most were several factors. I had an affinity with legacy and that was my reason. My identity wasn’t attached to work. I didn’t need to climb to the top of someone’s organization. I needed a job that was challenging and lucrative. It wasn’t difficult to pivot and I was brainstorming all the while. I began to desire something beyond the pair and independence took centerstage. Not only in my work but in my finances equally so and more. That’s when I began to see the future with scale.
But I’ve come to discover with the Lord’s influence that most of things I’m describing are the result of gifts and talents in actions. It appears simple or easy because it is. Which brings me to the point many overlook when contemplating the same. Where is the Lord in your question? How does your knitting solve the problem? Oftentimes we’re not as clueless as we believe. We’re reluctant to take a risk and shake things up. You’d probably be able to compartmentalize your experiences if the other activities you’ve discussed were underway. As with most things concerning the Lord, compliance is usually less painful than intrusion. ;-)
And there’s a clock on promptings few admit. Gilbert alludes to it in
Big Magic. We have to strike while the iron is hot. Ideas will keep company for a time but if they’re ignored they’ll go elsewhere. She mentioned an encounter she had at a book signing with a fan. The woman shared an idea she had for a book that was identical to one Gilbert hadn’t acted on. But the other did and the project was successful.
You’ll find it easier to shift if you divorce your want for perfection. You appear to have a certain way you want things to be and life rarely follows suit. Learning how to glean intentionally will save you a lot of headaches. Use what works and discard the rest and don’t get mired by the should’s. I see a lot of that on CF. People should be doing this or not doing that. Energy is a commodity. Use it wisely. Don’t waste it on bother or complaints. You’ll have nothing to draw from afterward. Focus on the main things first. The world will be here when you’re done. Good luck.
~bella
