The Word "Accept"

[ChicanaRose]

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change..." ~ Serenity Prayer

How do you balance "accepting" the reality that your family member has mental illness, with not tolerating some of his/ her words and actions that are not "acceptable"?

Edits after reading the SOP:

I would like some support/ input on this as this can be a delicate balance to maintain.

 

[SANTOSO]

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change..." ~ Serenity Prayer

How do you balance "accepting" the reality that your family member has mental illness, with not tolerating some of his/ her words and actions that are not "acceptable"?

Edits after reading the SOP:

I would like some support/ input on this as this can be a delicate balance to maintain.

Have you heard what the psalmist pray:

Deal bountifully with your servant, that I may live and keep your word.
Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.
I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not your commandments from me!
My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times.
YOU REBUKE THE INSOLENT, accursed ones, WHO WANDER FROM YOUR COMMANDMENTS.
TAKE AWAY FROM ME SCORN AND CONTEMPT, FOR I HAVE KEPT YOUR TESTIMONIES.
Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will meditate on your statutes. Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.
Amen

 

[pgp_protector]

One thing to remember it's not them, it's the illness causing the issue.

A lot of us haven't learned to handle broken brains, so we're all still learning how to handle it.
If someone has a broken leg, we don't complain that they can't keep up with us when walking or running.
If they've got a broken arm, we don't fuss when they can't carry the same loads that they did before they broke their arm.

But we don't see a broken brain so we tend to think of them as doing or not doing something vs the broken brain being the issue. Depending on what they've got, it can cause different processing of emotions, reactions, words or more. Me for example the Wife had Dementia / Alzheimer's, still early stages (around stage 4) looking at them when they're doing good, you wouldn't really know anything is wrong. But later they would start asking where everyone went, even though no one was there, or get mad when you won't take them home while they're sitting at home. It can get frustrating but it's not them it's the disease that's causing them to not process the world the same way we do.