I believe when it says he is willing that none should perish, it means it.
Additionally, you need to realize the difference between God's declared will and God's decreed will. God has declared that murder is wrong, but he decreed that Judas hand Jesus over to be murdered.
The text does not say God has decreed that no one perish. He is saying that God is exercising his patience toward sinners and giving all an opportunity to repent. As I wrote earlier, since God is holy, he cannot but desire that all his creatures be holy as well. That is the real issue in salvation. There is a difference between saying that and saying God has decreed the salvation of all with out exception. In the context of 2 Pet 3, Peter is clearly talking to believers. When he says "God is longsuffering toward us" he is not talking about longsuffering toward the entire race.
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