The team

[mikeyp]

I was thinking the other day what a good team Lucy and I make and wondered if others found the same. God has really blessed us (the three strands thing really is true) so we have just the right balance of similarities and values to get on incredibly well, yet enough differences that we make an excellent team. For example, when it comes to housework, she hates doing the vacuuming which I quite like doing, yet I hate cleaning the bathrooms, which she really doesn't mind. I do the finances, and fix the cars and computers. She does all the literary stuff, making sure my job applications etc are grammatically perfect.

What parts of your relationship do you share with your spouse, that help you get on?
What parts do you each do that the other doesn't like and makes you feel good/grateful?
What can you do today to make your spouse feel good?

 

[akmom]

I have a very similar relationship with my husband. I have a lot of trouble getting started on things, and he has trouble finishing things. We used to nag each other about not getting things done, until we realized this. Since I get a little overwhelmed at the start, and he gets a little weary at the end, we literally tackle things by having him get it started and I get it finished.

When we were first married, he had all the handy skills and was also the only one with a job. So over the years I have coaxed him into showing me how to do home and vehicle maintenance, and I've also been able to persuade him choose more female-friendly tools (like electric start lawn mower), so I've been able to take on more of those things that, at first, he never would have acquiesced to having his wife do. It's a lot more of a partnership now. Instead of me being home all day stressing about fixing this or that, mowing the lawn, changing the oil... then nagging him to get it all done when he comes home... I can just do it myself. And if I can't, he at least has a lot less to do. He was also resistant to me getting even a part-time job, but in the past year he finally relented and I think he is happy with how it worked out. It's not much, but the extra income gives us a little wiggle room and I think it's done me good to have a job.

Like your wife, I'm also the proof-reader in the house. I think it's so funny that men mention that as an important skill! I mean, I don't feel like it gets used all that much. But it's nice to be needed!

 

[mikeyp]

I have a very similar relationship with my husband. I have a lot of trouble getting started on things, and he has trouble finishing things. We used to nag each other about not getting things done, until we realized this. Since I get a little overwhelmed at the start, and he gets a little weary at the end, we literally tackle things by having him get it started and I get it finished.

When we were first married, he had all the handy skills and was also the only one with a job. So over the years I have coaxed him into showing me how to do home and vehicle maintenance, and I've also been able to persuade him choose more female-friendly tools (like electric start lawn mower), so I've been able to take on more of those things that, at first, he never would have acquiesced to having his wife do. It's a lot more of a partnership now. Instead of me being home all day stressing about fixing this or that, mowing the lawn, changing the oil... then nagging him to get it all done when he comes home... I can just do it myself. And if I can't, he at least has a lot less to do. He was also resistant to me getting even a part-time job, but in the past year he finally relented and I think he is happy with how it worked out. It's not much, but the extra income gives us a little wiggle room and I think it's done me good to have a job.

Like your wife, I'm also the proof-reader in the house. I think it's so funny that men mention that as an important skill! I mean, I don't feel like it gets used all that much. But it's nice to be needed!

Of course it depends where your individual skill sets lie. It's not unheard of (though seemingly rarer) for girls to be into racing, technology, cars, computer games etc, and for men to be more into literature and arts. I can think of several people at church like that. I'm just grateful for the balance. I love that you and your husband figured out that balance too. When we were courting, I was told that Lucy and I would spend the first two years learning to live with each other and that to some extent we would just have to sit out that period. I also made a point of analysing and talking about everything to help us figure things out. I know that sounds really annoying but it really did help save us a lot of misunderstanding and arguments. I find it really annoying watching films, and all the way through sitting there thinking "If she/he would just talk to him/her about it, then everything would be alright!"

 

[Hetta]

I was thinking the other day what a good team Lucy and I make and wondered if others found the same. God has really blessed us (the three strands thing really is true) so we have just the right balance of similarities and values to get on incredibly well, yet enough differences that we make an excellent team. For example, when it comes to housework, she hates doing the vacuuming which I quite like doing, yet I hate cleaning the bathrooms, which she really doesn't mind. I do the finances, and fix the cars and computers. She does all the literary stuff, making sure my job applications etc are grammatically perfect.

What parts of your relationship do you share with your spouse, that help you get on?
What parts do you each do that the other doesn't like and makes you feel good/grateful?
What can you do today to make your spouse feel good?

Yes, we believe strongly in teamwork. We have strengths and weaknesses which complement each other. I am strong in finance and budgeting, he is strong in technology and computers. In fact, I just told him today we could afford a laptop, and he went and researched the best one and purchased it. LOL.