the sudden loss of my partner

[marny]

Hi i have recently lost my partner and have come here hoping someone can help me in my grief .. he was only 42 its only been 15 weeks.... we have 4 sons, 12, 14, 16 and 18 and all of us are finding it so difficult to cope as this was such a sudden loss due to a motor vehicle accident back in january 2005 all he seemed to have suffered was headaches up until may when he had his first seizure after which he was taken to hospital and had further tests where they found abnormalities still proceding with hospital tests they decided to give him a MRI scan in august which was done on the 23rd of august 4 days later, he had another seizure at home this time he passed away during it it is still in the hands of the coroner we are all recieving counceling but we still need answers so i am hoping that somebody here will be able to help us, Marny

 

[Honibee]

Marny- My heart really goes out to you and your family! I remember being where you are. . .

It can sound over-stated, but I honestly would not have endured the loss of my husband without the very real intervention of the Lord to strengthen and comfor me. Grieving is a personal thing, that comes at different levels and time frames. Take the time needed to COMPLETELY grieve your loss, and know God grieves too, death was not His original idea.

My family also had wonderful support from family, friends, and collegues. Feel free to PM me, if it would help. I'll be praying for you.

 

[robert adams]

Marny,

I hope you are receiving Christian counseling. My wife also died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was a basketcase for months. It is a slow process and there are no shortcuts. Counseling and an Overcoming Depression class at church helped considerably.

I wish we could all physically put our arms around you and hug you. Interestingly, that was part of our Overcoming Depression class. I am not a hugger - in fact it makes me want to run. But, it was "good medicine."

C'mon back here, grab a cup of coffee, sit a spell, and pour your heart out. You are among understanding friends. We know how it is to have your heart ripped out and to cry uncontolably. The worst thing is to try and bottle it up. You are among understanding friends.

Bob in Texas

 

[Terri]

Oh dear sister Marny, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear husband.

Marny, if you can talk about your dear husband and how you are feeling I think that it would perhaps help. At least that is what I have been told. I know that for me that is very, very hard as I feel like I will loose control and never get it back again when I talk about my dear Jim, because I feel like I just can't face that he isn't here.

So, if your having that difficulty too, just take your time and talk about it when you can, however little that you feel that you can. It is a very slow, step by step, day by day process. Try not to get too frustrated if you don't feel like you are making as much progress as quickly as you would like. Be patient with yourself.

I imagine the grieving process is so much harder for your than me since you also have you children that you feel like you have to be strong for. I have no children but find I put extra pressure on myself by thinking I want to be strong so my dear Jim would be pleased.

I will be praying for your Marny. Please let us hear from you. We all need each other here Marny.

 

[Bevlina]

Oh Marny! I am so, so, so very very sorry to know this. This is horrific. You are definitely in my Heart Prayers.
Please don't be too afraid to pour your heart out here. We have been there, done that and are only too willing to listen.

 

[CountryLady]

Hello Marny, Big hugs to you. I was thinking about you and wanted to know how you and the children are doing. I'm praying for you and your children. God bless you all.

 

[Hisbygrace]

Hi i have recently lost my partner and have come here hoping someone can help me in my grief .. he was only 42 its only been 15 weeks.... we have 4 sons, 12, 14, 16 and 18 and all of us are finding it so difficult to cope as this was such a sudden loss due to a motor vehicle accident back in january 2005 all he seemed to have suffered was headaches up until may when he had his first seizure after which he was taken to hospital and had further tests where they found abnormalities still proceding with hospital tests they decided to give him a MRI scan in august which was done on the 23rd of august 4 days later, he had another seizure at home this time he passed away during it it is still in the hands of the coroner we are all recieving counceling but we still need answers so i am hoping that somebody here will be able to help us, Marny

Dear Marny and children, I can understand your seeking a reason for the sudden lost of your partner. But though it is hard to understand sometimes there is no explanation that we can give. We just have to go on faith that God is working His will out in our lives. I lost my husband of 38 years in may of 2002, so I know the pain that you are feeling. There are many steps to grief that we must go through and each of us may go through them at different times. I pray that God will cover you and your children with His love and peace and help you all to come to a place of total acceptance of His will in your lives. One day you will see your partner again and one day you will have the answers you seek. God bless you and your children in the days to come..Love,HBG

 

[robert adams]

Marny,

How are you doing? I know it is around the one year mark for you and is a tough time.

Bob in Texas

 

[Hisbygrace]

Just wanted to say hello and check on you and the children.....hugs

 

[mare61]

Our loss was slow. My husband was diagnosed with final stage brain cancer two years prior to his passing. The surgery to try to remove some of the tumor left him with many neurological deficits. My sons and I cared for his every need for so long. As the disease took more and more of him away, we just begged God to heal him or take him home. I think we've grieved for so long, we now need peace. We continue to look to Him. I am very sorry for your loss. If you ever need encouragement, please let me know. Take care, Mare

 

[leanne708]

hi Marny. Its also the one year mark for me and it is such a slow process. There are any get well quick fixes. Each special day is so awful and its only through constant prayer and reading the bible that Im here today. My prayers are with you, I know what it is like to feel totally split in two especially with kids.