as he surveyed his multi-coloured self and saw, climbing out of the car, the girl he'd set his heart on marrying.....who took one look at him and..........
went 'ew, are you still here? I've married that bloke off the toothpaste commercial, see ya later!' before departing at ludicrous speed in a moped with tin cans strung out the back.
He got not further in his supposition, however, as somehow, they knew - before he could breathe a word of the conspiracy he'd uncovered, he was beaten unconcious by an army of Queen Mother clones, each weilding a small pink umbrella...