The Silver Ring Thing

[SuperMama]

What do you guys think of the silver ring thing and similar abstinance till married programmes and pledges? I am not looking for flames and raging debate but people willing to share how it has worked or not worked for them from experience.

I am a Mum with 4 young daughters and I like the sound of the siliver ring thing and want to talk to younger folk to gauge their ideas before we embark (or not) onto this path of guidence and education

Cheers - and thanks for replies.

 

[eutychus]

I think it depends on the person. To some girls, making a pledge at a certian time is very precious to them, and they hold dear to it. Same goes for wearing a purity ring. For others, the whole thing is just a disgrace when they act immodestly in relationships yet still wear the ring, and still think the pledge is worth something. And for others who hold fast to abstinence and purity, the ring and pledge has no significance whatsoever. I'm one of the latter, but I'm also a cynic who thinks that purity pledges a lot of time lack commitment, so they're useless. I also think that it's almost become a fad for Christian girls in America (as crazy as that sounds)--I don't know about there, so that's another reason why I think it's silly--it lacks value.

I think an idea that puts things into greater perspective, that can be used with purity rings or pledges, is having a covenant that a girl or boy makes with their future spouse, that they sign and keep until they are married. This not only keeps a correct focus, but serves as a contract.

 

[ashes2beauty]

I wear a silver ring on my right hand, as a promise to God not to have sex until I'm married... I like the idea of it. Because if you're getting really heavily "involved" with someone, all you got to do is look down at your hand, and be like "oh yeah... i made a promise." It might not work for everyone, it might become just another piece of jewelry, but for me its going to serve as a reminder of what I promised to God.

 

[fishstix]

A ring or contract or other physical object may be a good reminder for some people. But it is just that - a reminder. It shouldn't be the whole focus of the education or commitment. Start out with education about God's plan for romance, purity, abstinence, committment, etc. Make sure that the youth have a good understanding of those concepts and their importance. Make sure that they are making a committment to purity for the right reasons - not just to fit in or to please you or to get a piece of jewelry. After that, you may want to introduce a physical symbol/reminder such as a ring. But don't make the ring the focus.

 

[Misnomer]

I did the whole true love waits thing when I was in jr high and high school. And I have worn a ring for at least 7 years now. The thing is that the ring and pledge that I signed were always just reminders, like my cross pendant. What I mean is that even if I didn't have them I'd still stick to my commitment. Which is another funny story because honestly I didn't know there was even an option not to wait; i just assumed that waiting was how it was supposed to be. Anyway back on topic, I think that it will all depend on your daughters. The most important thing is to teach them. I like having a ring, at the very least it has helped me share my beliefs with others. But there are also people who are just as commited who choose to not wear a ring.

 

[desi]

A ring after all is just a ring. If you are consistent in your teaching and actions your daughters, as well as mine, should remain pure.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

The Silver Ring Thing is a takeoff of True Love Waits. I think abstinence programs serve a wonderful purpose - if they teach purity, not simply putting off going all the way until marriage. That leaves teens wondering "well, how far is too far?" It leaves teens feeling they are at liberty to use one another's bodies for sexual gratification, so long as their "clinical" virginity is still intact on their wedding night. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that defeat the purpose of purity? Here's my personal analogy. Take a look at the picture below.

Isn't that a beautifully wrapped gift? I'm sure the recipient would be thrilled to open such a carefully wrapped package. Now, use your imagination and picture the bow missing. Envision the ribbon being carelessly ripped off. Picture the lustrous wrapping paper being torn in various places and all that is left is a dented box with no wrapping paper. Wouldn't you feel a little sad if you got one gift in your entire lifetime and it was void of wrapping paper and looked as if it had fallen off the delivery truck? Wouldn't you feel sad if you were the one giving such a haphazardly wrapped gift to one of the most special people in your life? That is what purity is like. Sexual intimacy is not an aspect of a relationship that can be disected into parts in order to get away with as much sexual gratification as possible without going all the way. It is a gift. When you use someone else's body for your pleasure, you are stripping away all of the beautiful elements that make a gift special. Surely you don't want to be the recipient of the poorly cared for package or the giver of it on your wedding night. Purity encompasses more than just saving your technical virginity until the wedding night. There are countless virgins out there in the world who act very impure when they are involved with a member of the opposite sex. Shoot, in today's society you may as well throw in the same-sex intimacy as well, considering the fact that homo and bi-sexuality seem to be "fashionable".

There is good news, however. The Bible says that Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price so that we could be cleansed of our impurities and become white as snow. You know how snow gets after a few days? It becomes dirty and almost muddy? But alas, a new snowfall takes place and the next morning the ground is covered in a new, fresh, and untouched blanket of clean white snow. That is what Jesus Christ can do for those of us who have gone too far, either all the way with someone, or engaging in other acts that blemish our purity.

Abstinence programs are wonderful, but there needs to be more emphasis on all-around purity and not just saving your virginity.

 

[Sketcher]

I don't think it's needed, but it has been helpful to some.

 

[plum]

yeah, honestly it does depend on the person and how seriously and deeply they take a pledge of that kind.

i said a true loves waits pledge but didn't live up to it. it has to come from a certain place inside you, where you store your own personal truths and values. if it's just a piece of paper you sign or a pretty ring, it won't stop anything from happening.

but i say it's better to do it than to never touch on the subject or not discuss it in depth...

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I had a true love waits ring that I wore for a while, but I didn't wear it as a reminder to myself as much as I wore it as a testimony to others.

 

[TriptychR]

I've never had one, and so far haven't needed the reminder, but I do like the idea of having it as a testimony.

 

[Cordelia]

I'm dubious about abstinence programs - they say most people who make these pledges break them, so it would seem that they cause more unhappiness that anything.

If I had a young daughter, I wouldn't send her to make one of these pledges and have some other adults encourage a 'Cinderella' complex in her, only for her to then meet a guy, fall head over heels and not know what to do. Instead I'd sit her down myself and educate her about respecting her own body and feelings, what God teaches us about sex (the good as well as the bad!) and the reality of how relationships are, how she should prepare and practical ways to stay pure.

As for rings, I think they're a beautiful symbol - but that's it. I still wear mine as it's the only concrete reminder I have of my convictions whenever I'm tempted.

 

[WITNESS8]

I wear a ring on my wedding ring finger as a sign to all that I am unavailable, because I am only meant for one, and when he comes he will not be intimidated by my ring.


IN HIM

 

[sweetlambofgod]

instead of an engagement one?