- Mar 11, 2019
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The silence
I started a very early shift this morning in our Infirmary. It is a good shift, I have a couple of hours in the quiet, lights are low, and everyone is sleeping. What a gift sleep is, also what a joy to like getting up in the wee hours. We have a little chapel here, so I will often go and sit after I have checked in on Br. Alan. He needs round the clock care, but not heavy care, but needs the basics done for him. He is 99 years old, and still has lots of vigor. It is not easy for him, some confusion, but overall most of his days seem to be good. Yet, there is suffering because of the confusion. He has a good appetite which is a good thing.
While sitting in the church, slowly saying my Rosary, I thought of all the people in the world who are going through what Alan has to endure. Yes, one day, if I live long enough, I will have to endure as well. I believe that the gift of old age is all the things we hate about it. A finale purification before we are called home.
When I started a few weeks back to start working here I had to confront 'sloth'. It was hard to get back into the tasks that need to be done. Not heavy tasks, but there are times when I come face to face with the vice of sloth.
This hits me in my spiritual life as well, a fight that is ongoing, but by God's grace, slowly he leads me through the lethargy that can come upon me, like a thick heavy wet cold blanket.
Perhaps in getting older, one of the gifts that is given me, is that it sinks in how little time I have left. Alan is 99, in 28 short, fast-moving years, If I am around, I will be that age. It always gives me pause and to try to look deeper into my soul, learning things about myself that lead me to learn trust in God's infinite love for me and for all. For in the human heart, there is not just beauty and light, but darkness as well, that only the true light can show us.
Life is good, precious, every day important. Perhaps in this time of crisis, this can be seen more deeply, since none of us really knows if we will be here next year. True most of us will, but this virus is still going strong and should hopefully lead to a deeper appreciation of life, others, and to be thankful for our faith as well....we do belong to each other, and yes we are our brother’s keeper, not only in our acts but in our prayers as well.--Br.MD
