The RIGHT choice.

[outlaw]

I just found this essay and laughed very hard...


My friend, Carolyn, called with some upsetting news this weekend. She is marrying Russ, her boyfriend of over 7 years. She and I got into an argument on the phone, because I told her that I will always be her friend, but I will not support this marriage. She even wanted me to be in the wedding party, and I was surprised she thought I would even consider it.

I don't think I am narrow-minded at all. I have always accepted that she is an adult and can date, or even live with, whomever she chooses. But I can't condone the marriage. You see, Russ is left-handed.

Marriage has traditionally been between two right-handed people. There are numerous studies showing that a child functions best in a home with two right-handed parents. It is hard enough to be a child without having the added burden of a left-handed parent. Can you imagine what it would be like to sit at a dinner table next to a left-handed parent and have to endure the torture of being elbowed by them when they cut their steak? Why subject a poor child to the taunts of other children who have normal parents? The humiliation of a left-handed parent coming to open house at school would be unbearable for such an unfortunate child.

Aside from the burden placed on the child, there are many other reasons I do not support left-handed marriage. Historically, marriage has been reserved for right-handed people. Everything that has ever been done historically is absolutely 100 percent correct and should not be meddled with. That is why it is historical. Historical = right. (Notice the word is RIGHT, not left?) Why can't people see this?

The Holy Bible does not once mention marriage for left-handed people. If left-handed marriage was not sinful, I believe God would have grabbed the right hand of one of the Bible's authors and forced him to write a Bible verse giving lefties permission to marry. In fact, I am pretty sure the Bible says right-handed people should marry, so it is implied that left-handed people should not. It's in there somewhere. Look it up.

I worry about the state of affairs if people like Russ and Carolyn marry. Yes, I know they love each other, and even though that is not my choice, I support their right to sleep together. But I will not participate in a wedding between a left-handed man and a right-handed woman. If they were to have some sort of civil union, that would be fine. I would send flowers and say "congratulations" because that is much less threatening to me than a "marriage".

If left-handed people are allowed to marry, what is next? They will want to marry horses and bicycles. If a left-handed person married a bicycle, can you imagine the burden that places on a child? Imagine a woman who has been raised by a left-handed mother and a bicycle father. On her wedding day, she will have to wheel a bicycle down the aisle instead of having a normal father escort her to her groom.

You can see what a mess things are becoming. And there is no way to stop this unless we amend the Constitution of the United States. Unfortunately, we can't allow states to decide the issue, because the only states that have any morals are the southern ones. Those northern states and the fruity west coast states will not have the morality to make the correct choice.





http://hot-toddy.blogspot.com/2004/03/lefties-my-friend-carolyn-called-with.html

 

[Nienor]

I disagree with the last part - Utah has lots of morals too

 

[Mocca]

ROFL! At the same time, it's immoral for two brown-eyed parents to marry, since it's possible for them to have a blue eyed-child, and God said that the animals brought forth after their own kind! The Bible says nothing about brown-eyed people marrying, so obviously it disapproves of it. I PROTEST BROWN-EYED MARRIAGE!

 

[momalle1]

Not only that, I've never seen any left handed animals, that just proves it's not natural. Why did Russ choose to be left handed? He must have, he has used his right hand in the past.

 

[gwenmead]

Maybe Russ is ambidextrous.

 

[Ampoliros]

Maybe Russ is ambidextrous.

Ambidextrous people are just right-handed "experimenting" with using their left hand. They don't really exist; we all know your either right-handed or left-handed. No in-betweens !

 

[Stuco]

 

[Helo]

Awww you got no sense of humor, I thought it was great, and it makes a great point.

Stressing over gay marriage has about as much use as stressing over two right handed people marrying eachother.

 

[OutCasteChild]

Next you're going to tell us one has green eyes and the other brown. We all know were that leads don't we, the abomination of hazel eyes.

 

[KCDAD]

Awww you got no sense of humor, I thought it was great, and it makes a great point.

Stressing over gay marriage has about as much use as stressing over two right handed people marrying eachother.

I guess I have no sense of humor either. "Gay marriage" is like saying jumbo shrimp, political ethics or chicken fried steak. Marriage is a legal arrangement by which society encourages the reproduction of the species for society's survival. There is no point in a gay marriage... if you want legal responsibility to one another form a corporation or assign power of attorney...

 

[outlaw]

I guess I have no sense of humor either. "Gay marriage" is like saying jumbo shrimp, political ethics or chicken fried steak. Marriage is a legal arrangement by which society encourages the reproduction of the species for society's survival. There is no point in a gay marriage... if you want legal responsibility to one another form a corporation or assign power of attorney...

I have a good friend who recently married…she is a survivor of uterine cancer. As a result of this cancer and the treatment to save her life she will never have children. By your argument she should not have been allowed to be married as there is no point ot her..unless of course you are advocating hate and discrimination for the infertile.

 

[wanderingone]

I guess I have no sense of humor either. "Gay marriage" is like saying jumbo shrimp, political ethics or chicken fried steak. Marriage is a legal arrangement by which society encourages the reproduction of the species for society's survival. There is no point in a gay marriage... if you want legal responsibility to one another form a corporation or assign power of attorney...

Then the only people who should be free to marry are those who can prove they are able to reproduce.

 

[wanderingone]

Ambidextrous people are just right-handed "experimenting" with using their left hand. They don't really exist; we all know your either right-handed or left-handed. No in-betweens !

 

[Lokisdottir]

Next you're going to tell us one has green eyes and the other brown. We all know were that leads don't we, the abomination of hazel eyes.

I didn't choose to have hazel eyes, I was BORN that way!

 

[Argent]

I just found this essay and laughed very hard...


My friend, Carolyn, called with some upsetting news this weekend. She is marrying Russ, her boyfriend of over 7 years. She and I got into an argument on the phone, because I told her that I will always be her friend, but I will not support this marriage. She even wanted me to be in the wedding party, and I was surprised she thought I would even consider it.

I don't think I am narrow-minded at all. I have always accepted that she is an adult and can date, or even live with, whomever she chooses. But I can't condone the marriage. You see, Russ is left-handed.

Marriage has traditionally been between two right-handed people. There are numerous studies showing that a child functions best in a home with two right-handed parents. It is hard enough to be a child without having the added burden of a left-handed parent. Can you imagine what it would be like to sit at a dinner table next to a left-handed parent and have to endure the torture of being elbowed by them when they cut their steak? Why subject a poor child to the taunts of other children who have normal parents? The humiliation of a left-handed parent coming to open house at school would be unbearable for such an unfortunate child.

Aside from the burden placed on the child, there are many other reasons I do not support left-handed marriage. Historically, marriage has been reserved for right-handed people. Everything that has ever been done historically is absolutely 100 percent correct and should not be meddled with. That is why it is historical. Historical = right. (Notice the word is RIGHT, not left?) Why can't people see this?

The Holy Bible does not once mention marriage for left-handed people. If left-handed marriage was not sinful, I believe God would have grabbed the right hand of one of the Bible's authors and forced him to write a Bible verse giving lefties permission to marry. In fact, I am pretty sure the Bible says right-handed people should marry, so it is implied that left-handed people should not. It's in there somewhere. Look it up.

I worry about the state of affairs if people like Russ and Carolyn marry. Yes, I know they love each other, and even though that is not my choice, I support their right to sleep together. But I will not participate in a wedding between a left-handed man and a right-handed woman. If they were to have some sort of civil union, that would be fine. I would send flowers and say "congratulations" because that is much less threatening to me than a "marriage".

If left-handed people are allowed to marry, what is next? They will want to marry horses and bicycles. If a left-handed person married a bicycle, can you imagine the burden that places on a child? Imagine a woman who has been raised by a left-handed mother and a bicycle father. On her wedding day, she will have to wheel a bicycle down the aisle instead of having a normal father escort her to her groom.

You can see what a mess things are becoming. And there is no way to stop this unless we amend the Constitution of the United States. Unfortunately, we can't allow states to decide the issue, because the only states that have any morals are the southern ones. Those northern states and the fruity west coast states will not have the morality to make the correct choice.





[URL="http://hot-toddy.blogspot.com/2004/03/lefties-my-friend-carolyn-called-with.html"]http://hot-toddy.blogspot.com/2004/03/lefties-my-friend-carolyn-called-with.html[/URL]

I support your right to marry the left-handed woman of your choice

 

[wanderingone]

I support your right to marry the left-handed woman of your choice

What about *the children* imagine exposing them to such ... unnatural behaviors...?

 

[levi501]

I would support left-handed marriage but it's icky.

 

[Rae]

Ew. I can't believe you're proposing something as immoral as left-handers getting the right to marry. Next you'll be telling me you want protection for them against housing and employment discrimination, so they can live and work in MY town. Nuh-uh, buster. Let them take their immoral lifestyle and its "left-handed tools" like left-handed can openers to some other place.

 

[chalice_thunder]

Ew. I can't believe you're proposing something as immoral as left-handers getting the right to marry. Next you'll be telling me you want protection for them against housing and employment discrimination, so they can live and work in MY town. Nuh-uh, buster. Let them take their immoral lifestyle and its "left-handed tools" like left-handed can openers to some other place.

PROUD resident of one of the "fruity western states"

 

[chalice_thunder]

I guess I have no sense of humor either. "Gay marriage" is like saying jumbo shrimp, political ethics or chicken fried steak. Marriage is a legal arrangement by which society encourages the reproduction of the species for society's survival. There is no point in a gay marriage... if you want legal responsibility to one another form a corporation or assign power of attorney...

Because what has already cost me thousands of dollars in legal protections, you got automatically with the few bucks you paid for your marriage license. (By the way, those protections, in many states, are overturned by distant family members and right wing courts, so all the money I have spent is not necessarily a guarantee)

Why do you want special rights?