HI my name is sophia and I just felt led to write down my thoughts on this matter that has been plaguing me for so many years.
I could say that I have been suffering with 3 main areas of my life. Food control, spending money, and men.
These areas have been for 7 years have been excessive nature. I gave my life to christ in 2005 Summer and I am coming to my second year in christ - praise god.
As I said these areas have been plaging me and only recently have I realised its true route. Growing up these three areas were impressed on me extensivly as a child. Being thin and good looking, having money and being attractive to others and successive was the key drilled in to me. Unfortunatly I turned and did the opposite and rebelled as soon as I moved out of home at the age of 18. I became promiscuous with many men after the destroying of my 3.5 year relationship. I went crazy and slept with many men for approval and for love. When I became saved - god sent me my husband and even though not perfect we are onwards to get married in a few months... This area of my life has been healed and is still ongoing - but I can say that I am faithful and living a pure life.
The other two areas are not so easy spending money has continued to be out of control and eating is something I cant keep under control. As a child I purposefully rebelled against my parents when on my own and as soon as I moved how many 100's of miles away from my family home I went mad on all this.
What I have recently found is that I was still rebelling, but there was no one to really answer to even though my parents still tried to have strict control over me and i rebelled as much as I can.
But truly and honestly I feel that I am only rebelling against the spirit within me - no one else. Its ME that I am rebelling against - because I am only hurting ME...!!!
What I dont understand is why I am doing this and why cant I escape this as I want to eat healthy and lose this excess 3 stone and become more efficicent in m spending habits. Why cant I do it? Is it a case of low self esteem and insecurity...
One major thing that happened to me was just before I left home - I was involved in a car accident and had 2 fingers amputated and this is when my weight started to get worse and my money went bad and when men became my focus point. All bad indulgences to replace the pain and depression I suffered. I receieved extensive counselling and it was only until I became saved that depression lifted. I trust god will do the same with my money and eating habits - but these things affect my life and wellbeing - how am I meant to change?
I know I am babbling and hate to do this - but any opinions would be great...
Many Thanks
Sophia Jane
I could say that I have been suffering with 3 main areas of my life. Food control, spending money, and men.
These areas have been for 7 years have been excessive nature. I gave my life to christ in 2005 Summer and I am coming to my second year in christ - praise god.
As I said these areas have been plaging me and only recently have I realised its true route. Growing up these three areas were impressed on me extensivly as a child. Being thin and good looking, having money and being attractive to others and successive was the key drilled in to me. Unfortunatly I turned and did the opposite and rebelled as soon as I moved out of home at the age of 18. I became promiscuous with many men after the destroying of my 3.5 year relationship. I went crazy and slept with many men for approval and for love. When I became saved - god sent me my husband and even though not perfect we are onwards to get married in a few months... This area of my life has been healed and is still ongoing - but I can say that I am faithful and living a pure life.
The other two areas are not so easy spending money has continued to be out of control and eating is something I cant keep under control. As a child I purposefully rebelled against my parents when on my own and as soon as I moved how many 100's of miles away from my family home I went mad on all this.
What I have recently found is that I was still rebelling, but there was no one to really answer to even though my parents still tried to have strict control over me and i rebelled as much as I can.
But truly and honestly I feel that I am only rebelling against the spirit within me - no one else. Its ME that I am rebelling against - because I am only hurting ME...!!!
What I dont understand is why I am doing this and why cant I escape this as I want to eat healthy and lose this excess 3 stone and become more efficicent in m spending habits. Why cant I do it? Is it a case of low self esteem and insecurity...
One major thing that happened to me was just before I left home - I was involved in a car accident and had 2 fingers amputated and this is when my weight started to get worse and my money went bad and when men became my focus point. All bad indulgences to replace the pain and depression I suffered. I receieved extensive counselling and it was only until I became saved that depression lifted. I trust god will do the same with my money and eating habits - but these things affect my life and wellbeing - how am I meant to change?
I know I am babbling and hate to do this - but any opinions would be great...
Many Thanks
Sophia Jane
