The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist"

[Dave-W]

ok...... i shouldnt have said anything here n i think i got made fun of for saying stuff n other stuff i wish i hadnt said in a place like this.

Not what I am saying.

You are old enough to own your own thoughts and feelings. So own it. But think it thru first. And then be firm in your position. No - not everyone will agree with you and that is fine. We are not validated as people by who agrees with us or not. We are validated by being true to God and to ourselves.

 

[Gadarene]

You have every right to protect yourself the way you see fit. It's your life. If you need to stay out of men for now, it's totally fine. You know best what's good for you to keep you functioning.

Forums like this can be a bit bad places to talk about personal stuff, people are not very sensitive on boards like this, to say the least. Many people are just venting their own feelings here and don't think about anyone elses feelings on the way.

Dude come on. We know what would happen if this sort of attitude was expressed towards any other group.

Men getting stereotyped as rapists? Hang on, a woman's feelings are being hurt! This must take priority!

 

[Jack of Spades]

ok...... i shouldnt have said anything here n i think i got made fun of for saying stuff n other stuff i wish i hadnt said in a place like this.

For talking about personal experiences online, best places to do that are places with people who are going through something similar. They understand much better what you're going through and won't react the same random ways as us random people on a public board here do.

I don't know the word for that in English, maybe a "peer support group"? Or something like that. I hope you find that kind of a place somewhere.

 

[Jack of Spades]

Dude come on. We know what would happen if this sort of attitude was expressed towards any other group.

Men getting stereotyped as rapists? Hang on, a woman's feelings are being hurt! This must take priority!

I made my case for that already earlier in this thread, posts #127, #129, #132, to be exact, so you should know by now what I think. It's not like if I stop repeating myself for a while, and see the other side of someone's coin, my opinions would cease to exist.

I think it's considerate to drop my case for a while, if someones feelings are being hurt too much. Having some sense of situational awareness isn't that bad thing to have. I can continue the fight another time, when it's less heated up and not as personal.

I don't agree with the wording she used but I think it's excusable as she explained it. I rather argue with people who use it out of habit, or can't see why it would be offensive.

 

[rjs330]

If I had a bowl of candy, and one of them was laced with a poison that would kill you, you would look at every candy in that bowl as potential poison. It is not a statement about the candy, but about how you must look at the candy if you want to protect yourself.

As a woman, I have to look at every man I encounter as someone who could be a rapist. I know that the vast majority of men are not, but the point is that I can't tell. And since the magnitude of the outcome is rather extreme, I have to take precautions to protect myself against it. If I let my guard down, then horrible things could happen to me.

So when people say, "every man is a potential rapist," it is not saying that all men could commit rape. It is saying that this is how women must view men.

Do you view Muslims in the same light? All Muslims could be potential terrorists. Or how about black people. You know that the black man is a minority of the population yet by percentages of race commit more crime.

 

[rjs330]

(and learn Y'SHUA'S Protection from HIS WORD,)
but then> even HE did not trust men.
so,
YES, Rather better not to trust any man, even with perfect credentials and high prestige or status (that is how the enemy deceives so many so easily).

See the news abouthe theologic school in texas and the scandal on the news today - the coverup , long investigation, purposefully they refused to deal with it (the higher up administration).... just like in all the other big 'groups', including the biggest, for over 1000 years....
THAT is what is in men......


EVEN Y'SHUA MESSIAH DID NOT TRUST MEN !
YLT
and Jesus himself was not trusting himself to them, because of his knowing all [men],

VOICE
But Jesus saw through to the heart of humankind, and He chose not to give them what they requested. He didn’t need anyone to prove to Him the character of humanity. He knew what man was made of.

MSG
During the time he was in Jerusalem, those days of the Passover Feast, many people noticed the signs he was displaying and, seeing they pointed straight to God, entrusted their lives to him. But Jesus didn’t entrust his life to them. He knew them inside and out, knew how untrustworthy they were. He didn’t need any help in seeing right through them.

John 2:24
KJ21
But Jesus did not commit Himself unto them, because He knew all men,
ASV
But Jesus did not trust himself unto them, for that he knew all men,

You are exactly right on this. We all have the potential to sin and commit heinous acts. Say that all,men are potential rapists is the same as saying all men are potential murderers, liars and thieves. Yes we all have dark hearts. The heart of man is exceedingly wicked who can know it.

The thing that bothers me here is that we can single men out as the bad guys, but heaven forbid that we single anyone else out because that's just bigotry.

 

[MehGuy]

Dude come on. We know what would happen if this sort of attitude was expressed towards any other group.

Men getting stereotyped as rapists? Hang on, a woman's feelings are being hurt! This must take priority!

Nice to see you back.

 

[Kylie]

And I can by the same rationale view every police officer as my potential murderer and every white person as a racist.

But if I'm doing that, how can I as a Christian see them as potential brothers?

Are the two mutually incompatible?

 

[Kylie]

Ah you're a Trump supporter then?

Oh my god no.

 

[Kylie]

So we must all be locked up for the ladies' protection?

In general I favor pre-emption to remediation.

Wow. Do you enjoy over reacting and missing the point like that?

 

[Kylie]

"Every man is a potential rapist" does not say the same thing as "I have to look at every man I encounter as someone who could be a rapist."

"Every man is a potential rapist" is an existential assertion about every man as long as he exists. It's saying the same thing about a 102-year-old man that it says about a 30-year-old man, and that's precisely what the third wave+ feminists who say it intend.

If that's not what you mean, then don't make that statement and don't defend that statement.

Excuse me, I didn't make the statement.

I am explaining what the person who did make the statement meant.

 

[RDKirk]

Excuse me, I didn't make the statement.

I am explaining what the person who did make the statement meant.

But you don't know what that person meant. We do know, however, what the Third Wave feminists who originated it meant because they've said so. They see every man as a continually potential rapist. In their view, your father will potentially rape you, your brother will potentially rape you, every man you know, no matter how well you think you know him, will potentially rape you until he's dead because in their view that's the inescapable essentially of being male.

 

[Kylie]

But you don't know what that person meant. We do know, however, what the Third Wave feminists who originated it meant because they've said so. They see every man as a continually potential rapist. In their view, your father will potentially rape you, your brother will potentially rape you, every man you know, no matter how well you think you know him, will potentially rape you until he's dead because in their view that's the inescapable essentially of being male.

Excuse me, but I live with this. As a man, you do not live with people making sexual remarks about you as you walk down the street.

But of course, I'm just a woman. I need a man to tell me what life is really like for a woman.

 

[RDKirk]

Excuse me, but I live with this. As a man, you do not live with people making sexual remarks about you as you walk down the street.

But of course, I'm just a woman. I need a man to tell me what life is really like for a woman.

When I was a child, my parents had to carefully teach me that any white person could kill me and there was nothing they could do about it, and nothing would happen to that person. I was taught to treat every white person as a personal threat--like a grizzly bear wandering into a campsite.

As a black man today, I still have to sweat bullets any time I'm pulled over by police. If they were to kill me, most people would say I must have had it coming to me.

I've been explicitly told by a woman on this forum that despite the fact I'm in my 60s, she would regard me as a physical threat because I'm black.

You think fear is unique to you?

 

[Ana the Ist]

If I had a bowl of candy, and one of them was laced with a poison that would kill you, you would look at every candy in that bowl as potential poison. It is not a statement about the candy, but about how you must look at the candy if you want to protect yourself.

As a woman, I have to look at every man I encounter as someone who could be a rapist. I know that the vast majority of men are not, but the point is that I can't tell. And since the magnitude of the outcome is rather extreme, I have to take precautions to protect myself against it. If I let my guard down, then horrible things could happen to me.

So when people say, "every man is a potential rapist," it is not saying that all men could commit rape. It is saying that this is how women must view men.

Would you agree that all drivers are potentially drunk drivers...and should be treated as such??

Or do you think that might actually be worse for your life in the long run than just looking for that one driver who's swerving all over the road?

 

[Gadarene]

Oh my god no.

Funny. You used an analogy he used.

So did the Nazis.

 

[Gadarene]

Excuse me, but I live with this. As a man, you do not live with people making sexual remarks about you as you walk down the street.

But of course, I'm just a woman. I need a man to tell me what life is really like for a woman.

...even though you *just* told men what their lives are like? Are you even listening to yourself?

 

[Paidiske]

Do you prefer being preemptive or doing remediation?

It took me a minute even to realise what you were asking, because to me, it's a no-brainer that of course it's better to be pre-emptive about violent crime. To go back to your example of terrorists on planes, that's why after 9/11 so much more stringent security checks etc were brought in.

And people then were complaining about the cost of liberty and so on, but I think most people could see the point that if it meant we didn't have another 9/11 that was a good thing.

Now, finding the right pre-emptive intervention is the trick; you want it to be effective and to minimise intrusion into harmless activity. But yes, I'd rather be pre-emptive than have to pick up the pieces (yet again) after someone has been raped.

 

[Jack of Spades]

Excuse me, but I live with this. As a man, you do not live with people making sexual remarks about you as you walk down the street.

But of course, I'm just a woman. I need a man to tell me what life is really like for a woman.

If you're so certain that only experience makes right, could you take also as seriously my male-experience about that using rhetoric like "all men are potential rapists" tunes peoples attitudes to assume default male guilt?

 

[Kylie]

When I was a child, my parents had to carefully teach me that any white person could kill me and there was nothing they could do about it, and nothing would happen to that person. I was taught to treat every white person as a personal threat--like a grizzly bear wandering into a campsite.

As a black man today, I still have to sweat bullets any time I'm pulled over by police. If they were to kill me, most people would say I must have had it coming to me.

I've been explicitly told by a woman on this forum that despite the fact I'm in my 60s, she would regard me as a physical threat because I'm black.

You think fear is unique to you?

Did I ever say it was?

But since you are in a similar position to me, I fail to see how you can tell me that the fear is unjustified.