The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist"

[Dave-W]

Women rape. Call them out too.

Not without artificial help.

 

[Gadarene]

Not without artificial help.

*yawn*

 

[Dave-W]

*yawn*

Really? Do you not know (or you do know but ignore) the legal definition of rape?

 

[Zoii]

The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist" is that it implies that sexual assault is an explosion waiting to happen in every male member of our species.

Just now I was searching through Google for the phrase "Every man is a potential rapist" and found discussions where people, including men themselves, were saying that if you are a man you are fooling yourself if you think that you are not capable of ever raping a woman. At least that is what I took their words to mean.

It is saying that, whether you are conscious of it or not, as a male in contemporary societies you are carrying around beliefs, attitudes, behavioral patterns, etc. that are the recipe for committing sexual assault.

I think that it is essentially saying that men--whether they are conscious of it or not; whether they accept it or not--cannot control themselves and therefore a great deal of social structure and social sanctions is needed to control them.

Apparently there are even people with advanced degrees in the social sciences saying that there is a "switch" in every man that the right conditions will flip and cause him to rape women.

If "Every man is a potential rapist" is simply a reminder that some men do sexually assault women and therefore precautions need to be taken, it is poorly worded.

Saying something like "Sexual assault is a threat that women need to be conscious of" would probably be more accurate. It would be the same as what we all regularly hear about identity theft, scams, computer viruses, terrorist attacks, workplace violence, etc.

Saying, "Every man is a potential rapist", whether it is intended to or not, can be taken as a statement about men. Not about culture. Not about social conditions. A statement about the psyche of every male member of our species. And apparently a lot of people, wittingly or unwittingly, do take it that way.

For me the statement is true and doesnt need anything added. In my opinion every man is a potential rapist

 

[Jack of Spades]

For me the statement is true and doesnt need anything added. In my opinion every man is a potential rapist

Do you believe that men and women should also try to get along? Like, try to read these two statements:

1) It's a good idea to be careful with the women you date, to not trust the wrong ones who will cheat on you.
2) Every woman is a potential cheating harlot.

They say same thing basically. But anyway, do you think using the more hostile one is going to help me get along with the women who have no intentions of cheating on me.

 

[Zoii]

Do you believe that men and women should also try to get along? Like, try to read these two statements:

1) It's a good idea to be careful with the women you date, to not trust the wrong ones who will cheat on you.
2) Every woman is a potential cheating harlot.

They say same thing basically. But anyway, do you think using the more hostile one is going to help me get along with the women who have no intentions of cheating on me.

Jack I wasnt asking anything of you and Im not even trying to be mean.... Ive just stated how I feel. When I walk home from school I always walk w friends and its because its how I feel .

 

[Jack of Spades]

Jack I wasnt asking anything of you and Im not even trying to be mean.... Ive just stated how I feel. When I walk home from school I always walk w friends and its because its how I feel .

Oh, I didn't take it personally. No problem. I'm sorry if I came off more aggressive than I intended.

I know women are afraid of rapists, and for a good reason.

I just wanted to make you think about the other side of it, which is to avoid picking up a fight with all men while talking about violence towards women.

 

[Gadarene]

Jack I wasnt asking anything of you and Im not even trying to be mean.... Ive just stated how I feel. When I walk home from school I always walk w friends and its because its how I feel .

As is true with all bigots. So what?

 

[Gadarene]

Do you believe that men and women should also try to get along? Like, try to read these two statements:

1) It's a good idea to be careful with the women you date, to not trust the wrong ones who will cheat on you.
2) Every woman is a potential cheating harlot.

They say same thing basically. But anyway, do you think using the more hostile one is going to help me get along with the women who have no intentions of cheating on me.

If we're going by this thread, maybe best to assume women are misandrist bigots until proven otherwise

 

[Dave-W]

For me the statement is true and doesnt need anything added. In my opinion every man is a potential rapist

Do you also believe that every Arab is a potential suicide bomber? Every police a potential killer of unarmed black men?
Every man from South America a drug lord?

 

[Jack of Spades]

As is true with all bigots. So what?

If we're going by this thread, maybe best to assume women are misandrist bigots until proven otherwise

I only now noticed that @Zoii is a teenager, we should cut her some slack. It's not like she's a 50-year old unrepentant male-hater. Maybe better if we don't help her to become one by getting all militant on her here

 

[Dave-W]

For me the statement is true and doesnt need anything added. In my opinion every man is a potential rapist

Do you prefer being preemptive or doing remediation?

 

[Gadarene]

I only now noticed that @Zoii is a teenager, we should cut her some slack. It's not like she's a 50-year old unrepentant male-hater. Maybe better if we don't help her to become one by getting all militant on her here

These attitudes harm teenage boys too.

I think a teenage girl can live with being told it straight that her attitude is bigoted.

Gender equality, and all that.

 

[Zoii]

As is true with all bigots. So what?

Bigotry is something else... as is sarcasm. I glad you dont have to be afraid. Might you be if you were a young female?

 

[Zoii]

Do you also believe that every Arab is a potential suicide bomber? Every police a potential killer of unarmed black men?
Every man from South America a drug lord?

No... i was judt talking about men and rape

 

[Gadarene]

Bigotry is something else... as is sarcasm. I glad you dont have to be afraid. Might you be if you were a young female?

No, what you're doing is bigotry. That's what we call it when people are profiled or feared based on superficial characteristics like gender, race etc. We just have a blind spot as a society when it comes to treating men that way.

And I don't have reason to be afraid? Girl, men and boys are more at risk of assault than women and girls are. There are more problems than just yours. This isn't all about you.

 

[Zoii]

These attitudes harm teenage boys too.

I think a teenage girl can live with being told it straight that her attitude is bigoted.

Gender equality, and all that.

I wonder how smug youd be if you walked in my shoes

 

[Gadarene]

No... i was judt talking about men and rape

But those examples use the same logic you used on men. If you don't think of other groups that way why think of men that way?

 

[Gadarene]

I wonder how smug youd be if you walked in my shoes

Yeah, and I doubt you've ever been feared simply for walking down the street minding your own business. What of it?

 

[Zoii]

No, what you're doing is bigotry. That's what we call it when people are profiled or feared based on superficial characteristics like gender, race etc. We just have a blind spot as a society when it comes to treating men that way.

And I don't have reason to be afraid? Girl, men and boys are more at risk of assault than women and girls are. There are more problems than just yours. This isn't all about you.

It is a out me... i expressed how I feel and Im not asking you or anyone to feel the same way and so fine just keep attacking