- Feb 5, 2002
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The "soul mate" ideal is ruining marriage as people seek Prince Charming instead of real partners. True love is found in regular, not perfect, people.
There is a pretty constant discussion on social media in general and the Catholic blogosphere in particular about the flight from marriage among young people. A subset of that discussion came up in a recent tweet, where discussants debated whether a woman who has reached 30 and not found her “ideal” will have to “settle” for an “average” guy.
I know that such “discussions” are tilted clickbait, intended to elicit barbed comments. I, rather, want to go back to a different problem. The National Marriage Project, whose research on marriage trends is far more valuable than much of the babble either the never-ending Synod groups or Pontifical Academy for Life assembles, hit this nail on the head over 20 years ago in a report: “Who Wants to Marry a Soul Mate?” It warned that, especially among but not limited to young women, there was a growing phenomenon of imagining there is somebody out there who would fulfill one’s every wish and dream, provide total emotional succor, and bring utter contentment to one’s life.
The “soul mate” ideal of marriage was going strong a few years ago, and, honestly, it probably still continues to coast along in people’s—especially young women’s—minds. It would be interesting, however, to see updated social science data as to whether despair about finding that “soul mate” has fueled the flight from marriage.
Continued below.
crisismagazine.com
There is a pretty constant discussion on social media in general and the Catholic blogosphere in particular about the flight from marriage among young people. A subset of that discussion came up in a recent tweet, where discussants debated whether a woman who has reached 30 and not found her “ideal” will have to “settle” for an “average” guy.
I know that such “discussions” are tilted clickbait, intended to elicit barbed comments. I, rather, want to go back to a different problem. The National Marriage Project, whose research on marriage trends is far more valuable than much of the babble either the never-ending Synod groups or Pontifical Academy for Life assembles, hit this nail on the head over 20 years ago in a report: “Who Wants to Marry a Soul Mate?” It warned that, especially among but not limited to young women, there was a growing phenomenon of imagining there is somebody out there who would fulfill one’s every wish and dream, provide total emotional succor, and bring utter contentment to one’s life.
The “soul mate” ideal of marriage was going strong a few years ago, and, honestly, it probably still continues to coast along in people’s—especially young women’s—minds. It would be interesting, however, to see updated social science data as to whether despair about finding that “soul mate” has fueled the flight from marriage.
Continued below.
The Prince Charming Problem
The “soul mate” ideal is ruining marriage as people seek Prince Charming instead of real partners. True love is found in regular, not perfect, people.
crisismagazine.com
